The Singles Ward (2002)

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The Singles Ward

Brother Niner: Let me reiterate what Brigham Young said: if you're 25 years old and unmarried, you're a menace to society. Just something for everybody to ponder.

Eldon: I've been dancing with this girl, Julia.
Dallin: Oh flip, dude, she's a cutie.
Eldon: Yeah, but she uses a DayTimer, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

DeVerl: [to girls] How are you sweet spirits tonight?

An Airline Passenger: Look, pal, you want to get married? Try a singles ward.

Hyrum: Jon, we need you to give us a ride.
Jonathan: I can't, I have a gig in, like, five minutes.
Hyrum: Come on, man, it's just to the stake center.
Jonathan: Why can't Zak take you.
Dallin: He took his car bungee jumping.
Jonathan: Well, when will he be back?
Eldon: No, you don't understand. He took his CAR bungee-jumping.

[about the girls at a ward party]
Eldon: What do you care? You're going on a mission.
Dallin: I need someone to write to me.
Eldon: Dallin, I've seen your grades, you need somebody to read to you.

DeVerl: And how are you sisters this fine afternoon, relief society good today?

DeVerl: [to a girl] Hi, my name is DeVerl.
[getting closer]
DeVerl: Didn't I uh, see you at the hay ride last week?

Cammie: So you brought the fried chicken?
Jonathan: Yes, it's a family recipe. It's been in my family for years.
Cammie: Nice try, I worked at KFC for two summers during high school.

[Hyrum and Dallin are inhaling helium from balloons left by a girl for the Preference Dance]
Dallin: Papa Smurf! Papa Smurf! This came out of the balloon! It looks like another piece to the PUZZLE!

Jonathan: Oh yeah, sure! Let's make fun of the *Mormons*!

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