Hell Asylum

i can't believe there are actually people who will give "hell asylum" a 10/10. you can try to praise that these people made the movie on a low budget and in about 10 days of filming, but that's it. the acting is sooo bad, the camera work sucks, the lights work is awful except for two or three details, and you miss most of the action because it's too dark, the ghosts are laughable at and you end up hating every and each of the five contestants. leaving aside that's it's a "house on the haunted hill" rip-off, "hell asylum" is plain boring and you only laugh with that guy who is supposed to play the fake ghosts of the house to scare the chicks. in my opinion it might have been a little more decent if at least they had tried to find a set which resembles more a haunted house, but the place looks like a high school and you wonder where those stupid teenagers might have been hidden. nice try, but i'm sorry, i don't buy this. i gave it a 2/10.

No kidding, this was really bad!! Not even one bit thrilling, and the acting, it sucked as well. I have come to realize now that, if it has Full Moon on it, it will suck!! Now I know, and I will be aware of this fact. Back to this garbage though. Really stupid reality show idea of having these "hot" chicks stay all night in this old halfway house for a million dollars. Really lame acting and really lame "ghouls". Not enough words to describe how bad this sucked!!

It's amazing to me that this was allowed on DVD at all. It's just that bad. The plot, that there is a reality TV game-show thing with models who have to go into haunted rooms and such does admittedly have potential. Unfortunately, that potential was not carried out. To be honest, my favorite part was the credits, and that's simply because they at least looked halfway professional, unlike the rest of the movie. The actors prove that you can't just pull someone off the street and expect them to be good, although the actors aren't entirely to blame, as there is no one who could pull off the hackneyed clichés of the characters.

The music was just annoying, the gore looked more like spaghetti and that stuff in tapes (the black stuff) than someone's insides, and frankly, I find it hard to believe that this was made by someone who wasn't above the age of 18. The only good feature this 'film' (and I use the term very very loosely) has is that it did indeed leave me feeling sick, but for all the wrong reasons.

This movie is all over the place. What the heck are those grim reaper dudes anyway. Apart from eating peoples insides and whacking up people's faces and dropping bones all over the place. It's junk and the title music sucks. A typical low budget crappy movie. Apart from the usual small time actors and a hardly known producer company what has this movie got going for it.

Some of the acting is OK i'll give it that but the the movie has no plot.

Nothing

Stephen Dellabarca

A group of girls enter a TV reality show, where they have to spend time in a haunted house doing specific tasks to win 1 million dollars, though no-one counted on real spirits killing the crew and contestants.

Well the plot idea is right out of The house on Haunted hill (1958)- but really this is nothing more then watching stunning young women get butchered to death and eaten by ghosts... literally! Well the idea for this film took no brainstorm.

The filmmakers came up with an incredibly dull and unimaginative film, that had trouble keeping my full interest and the running time is only 67mins! The script was tripe and extremely stilted, as you just groan at the clichés and stupid lines you hear and the acting... geez it was awfully over the top, no charisma or talent evident.

The blood and gore was just laughable- I just thought it was over-used and ridiculously lousy… was that the end of a mop or noodles covered with fake blood as intestines?

The plot, where did it go? If you start off with one, you might as well finish it off. It's starts with introducing us to the TV reality show, the crooked host/director, the 5 female contestants and the history of the haunted place- but after this it goes off the rails, as you don't know what the heck is going on? There are no explanations why the ghosts are killing people, while the characters one by one just go and get knocked off. The characters were the usual one-dimensional stereotypes- but hardly engaging to care what happen to them. While the house itself is hardly atmospheric or chilling and the lighting was so dim it was hard to tell what was going on.

The camera work was pretty horrid, I think that they thought it was quite inventive- but it's not. The ghosts were 'fairly' eerie, well more the way they move and appear- but there nothing more then a person wearing a black cloak. What the film sorely lacks is tension and good scares.

Some of those interviews with the contestants to see why they are participating in this reality game are pretty ironic in what we are viewing in this piece of crap. While the satirical ending on the media producers was really platitudinous.

This film wasn't enjoyable enough to be entertaining, if you think it would be so bad it would be funny... it's no fun, it's a pretty miserable viewing.

Though it might be a REALLY cheap amateur film, that's no excuse for a lame story, script and a lack of suspense and chills.

What a turkey!