How to Go Out on a Date in Queens

I too, went out and rented this movie because of Jason Alexander and was woefully disappointed. The movie is a character driven piece with great actors---among Esai Morales and Ron Perlman, however, it's just boring. The back notes---"Love and Laughter Reign in Queens" of the DVD must be about another movie because even after a couple of beers watching this picture, I never laughed once. I also like the way they shot some of the movie in southern California to make it seem like they're in New York, but last time I checked, there weren't many palm trees in Queens. Unfortunately I am a stickler to watching a movie, no matter how awful it is, to the end. I couldn't wait for the thing to end. Alexander was 1,000 times funnier on Senfeild and if you are a Jason Alexander fan, do not watch this movie, it will ruin his following.

Here is a classified 'Indie' movie, that nearly stars Jason Alexander amidst a dozen other acting classified ads that have the cohesion of dogs meeting at a park. However, some manage to sustain interest in their performance for a certain melodramatic harpsichord and despite being leashed around through piles of right doo. Too clustered to be considered a B-movie (or realistic D-movie if you will), there is an eccentric, inebriated sway to the nature of seriousness to the plot, which consists of horribly stereotyped themes from 80's cop-movie paced action, single-lady romance novels, and a stab at the 90's harmony of Friends. Also Jason Alexander's acting is in it, and his performance, and occasionally those of others are only the efforts of the man trying to push the boulder up the hill. It is such that will stimulate you to punch through the tacky icons, and the instability that wavers throughout every act of this brooding play.

Ultimately, it becomes its own self-fulfilling storyline, leaving you wishing that the phony Russian mobster just whacked Jason at the beginning, putting him out of the miserable mistake he made with this movie in good valor. Cinematically distressing enough to make me register to write this review, as it is just not fair that movies like this have to be made. The only consideration it deserves as "Indie" is by means of fiscally-latrined pictures that are the conglomerate. Not worth it, unless you are in the producer's classroom vying for a gold star by your comments.

This script is terrible. The plot makes no sense. The characters have zero depth.

But if you watch the whole movie, you will learn that good actors are worth whatever they get paid.

Jason Alexander's character is just as poorly written as the others. His dialogue is just as dumb as the rest of the script. But his scenes are at least mildly interesting because he knows how to play a character and is able to sound like a human being.

Most of the rest of the cast can't meet this mark. There are one or two reasonable attempts. Allison Eastwood is fine. Rob Estes does not embarrass himself. But anyone else in the cast is trying a little too hard to sound a little too Noo Yawk and they don't know which syllables to accentuate or how to express a feeling other than mild exasperation.

(Ron Perlman is a pro of course too, but he barely speaks and at least one of his lines is laugh out loud funny but not for the right reason.)

I don't know if Alexand and or Pearlman were working off a debt or paying back a favor but this reminds me of Sir Ben Kingley taking the part in Christopher Moltisanti's Cleaver. IYKYK.

Queens, a borough of NYC, has an intriguing sub-culture, if this movie is accurate. It aspires to being as "hip" as Manhattan but doesn't quite get there. In this tale, Artie (Rob Estes) is a top tier auto mechanic and body repairman, still in rather deep depression after losing his wife two years ago. The front office man at the shop, Stan (Brian Dillinger) is a know-it-all who has been dating, as he says, for 16 years and wants to set Artie up with a blind date. Artie resists until he sees a dove land on a car. Believing it to be a sign from heaven, Art agrees to meet a friend of Stan's current girlfriend, Amy (Kimberly Paisley-Williams). Before the big event, Stan overloads Artie on how to make the date a success. But, when the foursome actually meet, things don't go very smoothly. Artie does have eyes for the bartender, Karen (Alison Eastwood), as the night moves along. Meanwhile, the restaurant manager, who longs to plan a wedding, is upset that her fiancé, Frankie (Esai Morales) is going to bet their wedding money on the Superbowl. Finally, a two bit gambler, Johnny (Jason Alexander) is in deep debt to the Russian mafia and may have only one hope of repaying them before they make him suffer the "ultimate interest rate". This terrifies his lady, Ann Marie (Christine Dunford) who wants to marry him. Henchman Vito (Ron Perlman) may be on his way to find Johnny. How will romance thrive in Queens? This interesting film has a good cast, a unique locale, fun accents, well-chosen costumes, a competent script and so on. No, its not a light-hearted romantic comedy, as one might suppose. However, there are amusing moments, amid some very touching and very scary ones. Those viewers who like the offbeat flicks will most likely want to make a date with Queens.

Being a huge fan of the Seinfeld series it seemed only natural to want to see this movie staring Jason Alexander as soon as it was out. I didn't quite know what to expect of it but I wasn't surprised to find it to be a good movie. It's about the dating world with its ups and downs and it makes a strong case in the end. It was nice to see a movie really about something and who's producers and also the actors staring in it certainly weren't interested in just the money. It's not a commercial movie but that doesn't make it just on bit less interesting. Jason Alexander's role is a lot different from what he did in the Seinfeld series but he pulled it of in a true Hollywood star's manner. Him staring in this movie is what made me see it in the first place and I can say it's a great movie. Really really worth seeing! 8/10 for this one.