Prison of the Dead

I will start off by saying this is indeed the worst film ever made.The story if you can call it that,is some guy that looks like he is straight off of beverly hills 90210 pretends he is dead and sets up a fake funeral at a castle.His friends show up and he gets up out of the coffin laughing.they get p***ed,and he tells them they can win a million bucks.All they have to do is find the "talon key".So they all agree and hold a seance.One girl gets possesed by a cartoon wavy thingy and starts speaking latin.As it turns out the castle was an old witches prison and the cartoon thing was one of there spirits.This somehow wakes up three hunch back/executioners and they rise from there graves.and they repeat the scene of them getting out of the ground about 15 times.From then on everyone wanders around and a cartoon thing goes into their mouth and they just stand still and say "Sutra,Sutra,Sutra" then the 3 hunch backs come and the victim says "ah the executioners" then you see the weapons raise and a squirt of blood goes on the person.Then later when you see the bodies the wounds and blood have magically vanished!It doesnt remotely make sense however it is not as bad as bloodstorm.anywho the people just all get killed without resisting at all.It is the worst movie ever made avoid it at all cost.For anyone who has seen it I recomend flushing your eyes out with acid.And then there is the great quote "I never had sex with a zombie before,is this gonna hurt?"In closing I would like to say if I made this movie I would most likely put a bullet in my head.

I don't even need to explain it. It's awful....yet....I was compelled to buy it when it was on sale at Blockbuster for $2. Just to say I had it. There was the most obscure and awful movie ever, and I had seen it, and it was two dollars. Wonderful. Now I have another piece of junk...

but this is a bit of an underachievement, even by my standards.

First, the positive aspects of this film: The acting is actually passable, especially when compared to some classic B-Movies. The setting and atmosphere are pretty good. The plot actually has some promise. Finally, it's short.

Now the bad things about this film: There is no sexuality or gore in this movie. Really. I don't understand how it even got an "R" rating instead of a "PG-13" as there's not even partial nudity and no overt gore. I guess it was the language. For example, there's a sex scene where both characters get intimate...while both are still in their underwear. (To be honest, the female character has apparently brought a negligee to the funeral home for a viewing, which I think demonstrates some forethought.) And every time a sharp object is brought down, the camera cuts away to a discreet spray of fake blood. The action itself is completely confined to three or four rooms in the strangest funeral home I've ever seen. It's a combination working funeral home, ruined prison, and fully furnished (with clean towels and hot water) caretaker's house. Go figure.

Anyway, don't waste your time unless you're a fan of the director's or one or more of the actor's.

Personally I didnt think the movie was that bad, I mean some parts were alright and the others just sucked. But I've been trying to find that one song when Rory and Michele was in the room doing it. If anyone has seen the movie and recognizes the song will you please email me and tell me the name and who sings it because this is driving me nuts.

Five Paranormal investigators meet(I will not tell you why they meet)at a funeral home that for some reason is in a castle. Full Moon fans will identify this castle, due to the fact that it has been used in many Full Moon productions. After they meet up they try to contact the spirit of the former Executioners that watched over the prison. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that conveniently under the funeral home is an old prison. This is the place where former witches and other villains were tortured and killed. Let's stop here and point out something that still has me scratching my head. When these group of "Paranormal Investigators", decide to contact the spirit, they pull out a Ouija board. Nothing strange here right? Well they start freaking out like they have never even touched one before. Isn't this a tool of the trade in their profession? After I set there in disbelief over this, I realized how horribly bad the acting was. I don't mean like after school special bad, I mean like 8th grade video class project bad. I thought the acting is bad but maybe the Executioners will make up for it. If a Wal-Mart Halloween mask means making up for it, than yeah I guess it did. This one is bad folks. If they threw in some gore, than maybe it could have helped out this awful story. The only resemblance to gore would be the blood squirt in the face bit. Boy did they wear that out fast to. The only reason to watch this piece of crap is to have a good laugh, and believe me there is plenty of those to be had.