Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker!

This is a classic case of bait & switch. The Tempe company must be really scratching if they are reduced to this kind of action. Of course one would expect to see the person on the cover in the movie but not here. It is obvious why this was necessary when you view the hideous looking performers in the product. The movie was the worst I have ever witnessed. However let us perhaps be thankful for something. I believe the cover model is Lilith Stabs & her body is her best & only attribute as her acting talent is sorely limited to use a very kind expression. At least we were spared that. If we still had book burnings as in the old days this would be a prime candidate.

I'd read the reviews here and most of them do mention that this has low production values but saying this really doesn't capture the atrocity of Mulva.

This has obviously been filmed on video with some scenes even showing what looks like magnetic interference on the tape. The sound is mostly location recorded and is usually unintelligible... this isn't helped by the fact the main character speaks with a terrible lisp throughout. Everyone else shouts to try and be picked up by the camcorder mic and sound distorted. There is little to no lighting work and the camera appears to be hand held most of the time.

Now I realise this is low budget ($2000 I read somewhere) and the production company even call themselves low budget productions but as they are obviously aware that this looks like the cheapest trash ever I'd have hoped they'd try to use skill and talent to counter some of their limitations. Instead they frequently lampoon the state of their production values, lack of actor talent and ludicrous script. I'm sure the people making it thought this was hilarious and indeed this is exactly the sort of film Id make if I had a bunch of mates with loads of free time and a camcorder. However I'd never subject others to it, let alone distribute it on dvd.

I can only assume that the other reviewers here are connoisseurs of extremely low budget film and knew what to expect in terms of production values and took the film purely on content value. I'll admit I did find myself laughing at some of the genre humor but it mostly felt forced with purposely overlong dialogue("I'm going to go as Egon Spengler from the 1984 film ghost busters as portrayed brilliantly by actor and writer Harold Ramis"). If delivered faultlessly this could be funny but as it was next to unintelligible due to bad sound, a lisp and an actress tripping over her lines, I felt more like crying than laughing.

In the end I felt ultimately cheated and I think anyone who expects even the most basic elements of filmmaking skill will do to.

Being the zombie fanatic I am, I found this worthless double feature (comes with Filthy McNasty) and was EXTREMELY disappointed with its atrocity. The babe on the cover isn't the movie (Strike one!). There was no plot and the funny parts were stale (Stee-rike TWO!). The acting wasn't even middle school level(Yer outta there!). Nevermind that the 80's VHS camcorder it was recorded on is insulting to the DVD medium. Ever heard of DV or SVHS?

Aside from the few milliseconds of gore, there was nothing to prevent me from wearing out my thumb on the "Chapter Advance" button. At least throw me some random T&A or stuff blowing up, huh?

I don't care how many of you feel the need to praise and protect this putrid sub-public access Chris Seaver production. Do you owe him money or something? This hack perpetually drops names of TALENTED horror folk (Tom Savini, Lucio Fulci) and throws in five million GOOD MOVIE references to swindle the viewer into believing it's good, fresh writing. Sorry pal, ain't buyin' it.

Is mentioning Egon Spengler supposed to be funny? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller? Frye?

Anyway, there are two things about this "movie" that irritated me:

1. There's a guy in blackface doing a stereotypical Bill Cosby impression. Good one, Chris Seaver. Minstrel show humor = real classy. How about having him eat watermelon and fried chicken too? I'm far from uptight but I don't see what's funny about over-the-top-down-again-and-back-for-seconds blatant racism, do you?

2. Lloyd Kaufman and Toxie make a cameo. DEAR GOD, WHY??? Are you thereby condoning this waste of video by appearing in it? Sure, Troma isn't known for highbrow entertainment, but Terror Firmer is Anne of Green Gables compared to this. And Terror Firmer had hot chicks - a staple of any horror exploitation flick, no matter how minuscule the budget. I know Lloyd is encouraging young filmmakers, but abysmal dreck like this needs to be condemned. There are PEOPLE WITH TALENT out there who deserve the shot this Chris Seaver loser squandered.

Shame on Netflix for peddling it and shame on me for thinking it worthy of my time. Consider yourself warned.

Avoid these "movies" (and "Filthy McNasty," the other feature on the DVD) at all costs. They are probably only funny to the people who made them, and their friends. Both appear to be made on a home video camera by a group of people who had nothing better to do on a Saturday night. There is no talent involved here (except Debbie Rochon, who deserves much, much better than this). Both movies feature the white director as a black character, complete with blackface and Don King wig. No joke. The external reviews link from IMDb are mostly positive, and I can't understand why. One boldly states that Mulva "deconstructs zombie movies" and that the guy in black face "actually turns that entire minstrel concept onto its narrow-minded head" without suggesting how it could possibly accomplish this. Oh, please. These two movies are the most unfunny attempts at comedy I have ever seen on film.

My Rating (both movies): 0/10.

I have seen A LOT of bad movies. I watch them on a regular basis and even some of the really bad ones, I can get through-ones that Mystery Sceince Theater 3000 wouldn't even touch. This is bar none the worst "movie" ever made. I use the term movie loosely in this case because it is more like a group of friends that got together and made a video, but sure enough it has some Troma in it. Even if you like the mindless Troma stuff, this one will make you wince in pain. It IS that bad!! The cover has Lilith Stabs on it (a hot goth/punk type girl of Bad Movie Police fame) in a little outfit with a huge gun. Very misleading. She is NOT in the movie and there are no gun toting babes gunning down zombies. Instead you get to watch an ugly chick with a chocolate stained face annoy the hell out of you with over eccentric bad acting and lisp. The imitation Cosby/Don King character-Bonejack-is something you would laugh at if it were your friend, otherwise it is just lame. The filmmakers felt free to make plenty of inside jokes (the reappearing ice cream poster in tons of shots) without letting the audience in on their little jokes. If this can truly be called a movie versus just a video that some idiots threw together, then yes. This is THE worst movie I have ever seen. It even beats out the Tempe classics such as Humanoids from Atlantis and Robot Ninja. At least with James L Edwards you know what you are getting into. I wonder how many suckers fell for the false advertising on the box cover. Well live and learn the old "You can't judge a book by its cover". Well Mulva didn't kick any zombie ass-but this movie sure kicked mine.