- Kat: [about to be drawn and quartered] I think this might be taking it just a little bit too far.
- Harper Alexander: Frankly, Miss Pussy, I don't give a damn.
- [Ricky is about to get skewered]
- Mayor Buckman: I see our barb-a-cuties got the skewering rod raring to go.
- Malcolm: Either one of you inbred country fucks knows where my woman is... better tell me now.
- Strolling Minstrel A, Strolling Minstrel B: [singing] The boy wants his bitch / Yeah, the boy wants his bitch / Sad, sad thing / A boy without his bitch.
- [first lines]
- Professor Ackerman: Unprecedented, historic casualties. More Americans died in the so-called Civil War than in the two World Wars combined. 618,000. Although the popular media usually portrays the Civil War as a series of epic battles for honor and glory, the reality is far from either. General Sherman's march through South Carolina alone cost over 8,000 innocent Southerners their lives.
- Cory: [looking at a map] The way I see it... if we drive through the night we'll be quaffing beers by noon and boffing chicks by 5:00.
- Kat: Is this some hillbilly reality show type of thing?
- Harper Alexander: You know this is Georgia, Miss Pussycat.
- Harper Alexander: My daddy proposed to my mama right here on this spot.
- Kat: My daddy proposed to my mom in the back of a '69 Chevy.
- Rufus: Now. Daddy. Daddy, don't mind Lester none. I got full confidence in him.
- Mayor Buckman: Son, one time I had full confidence in a fart. Shit all over myself.
- [Harper ties a blindfold over Kat's eyes]
- Kat: Ohh, I didn't know my Southern gentleman had a touch of kink in him.
- [When Harper removes her blindfold, Kat discovers her wrists and ankles have been tied to four horses]
- Kat: Harper, honey, this isn't what I had in mind.
- Harper Alexander: Well, Miss Pussy, it's *exactly* what I had in mind.