Ritual

Stars: Jennifer Grey, Craig Sheffer, Tim Curry, Daniel Lapaine, Ron Taylor and John Kassir as the Cryptkeeper.

I am glad that when this was theatrically released it didn't have the Cryptkeeper segments, because this film wasn't good enough to hold the Tales from the Crypt name. It's a movie about a nurse who travels to Jamaica to watch a patient and all kinds of weird, voodoo-y, gross stuff happens. It had some OK effects, but the camera work really isn't very good. It might amuse you, as it did me. The DVD includes a pretty stupid Crytpkeeper opening and outtakes with the Cryptkeeper. See it if you enjoy Crypt, but it really has nothing to do with it.

My rating: 2 out of 4 stars. 107 mins. R for Violence.

Can't remember where I got this movie from, but it suddenly appeared off my DVD shelf, as it had been there for months and I always skipped over playing it. Anyway, moved by the hand of huge laziness, I decided to give it a chance and feed my tray with what I thought was a slice of pure digitalized boredom. The result was a nice surprise. Obviously, this is not the flick of the century, but the plot line is consistent enough to keep you in for the whole runtime long. Atmosphere is particularly dense and thrilling (3 phone calls during the viewing didn't manage to kick me off it !), highlighted by a really efficient soundtrack. The cast is just right as it should be, and the breathtaking beauty of Caro (Kristen Wilson) will do anything but spoil it. The machete/drums/ceremonial scheme, usually utterly heavy in this kind of film, is always kept on a due balance, which, I figure out, must be quite a challenge for the editors. I gave it a 6/10 which means, in my opinion, frames this movie as (at least) advisable/worth watching.

First it's a Tales From the Crypt film, then it's not. Then it is, then it's not. Finally this film was given a decent release and they used the Cryptkeeper to try and sell it. Sadly, this will be the only thing under the Tales From the Crypt banner that I will never own. Ritual just wasn't up to Crypt standards. Demon Knight was one of the best horror films on the 90's and Bordello of Blood was a laugh riot. Ritual is neither of these things. It's basically a retelling of I Walked With a Zombie. It has no surprises and it's rather straight-forward in it's direction. I'm also not big on voodoo movies. There's just something about them, and they all tell pretty much the same story. So not much stands out and the film is a bit boring. The pace could have been tightened up a bit. It's a shame too because the acting is quite good. Jennifer Gray leads the cast and is up to the task. The new nose must be working out for her because she looks to be in the best shape of her life. Daniel Lapaine and Kristen Wilson, both of whom I'm not familiar with, also are admirable. And Tim Curry and Craig "I need to fire my agent" Sheffer show up to lend their credentials. Seriously, Sheffer is a way better actor than his filmography would have you believe. Another plus is the effects. What little gore there is is done expertly. Gotta love the doctor getting microwaved.

This turned out all right and looks interesting. However, as it goes on the attempts at creating emotions between the characters is so inept that it really turns the horror off and is an insult to serious viewers. The story this is based on "I walked with a zombie" is probably much better although unfortunately I haven't seen it yet. "Ritual" looks so exciting and could have been a great movie about zombies and voodoo but in reality it has turned out very poorly which is a shame. It's hard to say what is wrong with it. I guess there are just too many inept scenes and it is hard to believe, for example, in the lovestory between Alice (who is called Alice Dodgson like the girl who supposedly inspired Lewis Carrol to call his heroine Alice) and the younger brother. Absolutely nothing has been built up between them and then in the end they get married. Anyway, this looks great, and it was worth a look - but the movie is just so poorly performed. 3/10.

If you've read any of my other reviews you will know that I am somewhat partial to the Tales From the Crypt movies.... who am I kidding?..... I LOVE THEM!

Way back when Demon Knight came out it was apparent that there would be a series of three movies. Bordello of Blood followed on shortly after and then there was a massive lull.... nothing. Finally after a couple of years it was made official that the third movie was ready! And it was going to be a 'Voo-Doo' movie...... Hmm, I dont really like Black Magic movies but the excitement remains!!

So then I saw it...... WTF? Hmmm, yes sure it was a good movie. I really did enjoy it. It had all of the key eliments of a "Tales from the Crypt" movie.... all except for the one VITAL factor.... The Crypt Keeper??....... No sight of Him.

I can only wonder why the hell these guys (Gilbert, Zemekis, Silver, Donner etc etc) would have the audacity to release this movie without The Crypt Keeper? Surely they know that they are cheating the audience. What is the point of calling it a 'Tales' movie when there is no obvious connection?

With that massive qualm aside, this is a good movie. It seems to me that they may not have had much of a budget, and if that is the case... then they pulled it off excellently. It is not entirely gory or gruesome but it is still packed with the typical comic relief that makes a 'Crypt' movie so fun to watch.

So come on guys.... make us some MORE Tales From the Crypt movies!! We can't get enough of them. And bring back the 'Keeper'... pleeeeease??

I give this one 6.5 out of 10.