Dummy: Um Amor Diferente (2002)

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Dummy: Um Amor Diferente

Heidi: Because every klezmer band in town is booked and I desperately need a band. But if I hire you, you have to be willing to "hora". Is that a problem?
Fangora: Oh man, at this point I'd fuck anyone.

[Family dinner, with Lorena and daughter as guests]
Heidi: [to her mother, Fern] Why are you apologizing to her? She's an unwed mother.
Fern: Well, better an unwed mother than just plain unwed.

Fangora: You can fuck me if I'm wrong!
Steven: No, That's okay.

Fangora: D'you know our high school reunion's comin' up? Ten years... D'you know how depressing that is? D'you think I don't wanna slash my fucking wrists when I think about that? Goddamn it!

Fangora: Steven, you drive like my fucking grandma! Wait... that's actually an insult because my grandma drives better than you do!

Steven: I look both ways when I cross the street.

Heidi: [entering Steven's room and seeing him in his underwear with his dummy on his lap dressed as a child] Steven... Gross! You look like a child molester!

Fangora: Oh hey, what are you doing on the Fourth?
Steven: I don't know.
Fangora: 'Cause I just ordered some kick ass fireworks. Like, even the chinks are scared of this shit.

Steven: What about the little girl?
Fangora: Look, don't worry, alright. Worst case scenario it's her kid, alright, at least you know she puts out.

Lou: [loudly, after Heidi smashes his model battleship] You're grounded.

Lorena: I have a daughter Steven, you have a dummy.

Bonnie: He would be a great brother.
Lorena: Who? Steven?
Bonnie: No, the dummy.

Fangora: I bought a gift for you.
Steven: Oh, no.
Fangora: Actually, I lifted it from Borders. But it's perfect for your date. It's classical music.
Steven: Oh, thanks!
Fangora: Yeah, when you get Lorena alone, put this on. Classical music makes women horny. Just trust me on this one.
Steven: Thanks. "Best of John Philip Sousa".
Fangora: Yeah. Chicks dig it.

Heidi: [about Michael going in jail] Serves him right. I hope you rot there, fucking loser.
Fern: Heidi! That loser was almost your husband!
Heidi: Why can't you get it into your head he's a psychopath?
Fern: I'm *sure* he is. But he's also a very successful accountant.

Fangora: [after being thrown out for throwing a tantrum in a Target] Fucking suburbanized shit!

Steven: I've been in love with you ever since I sat on my glasses.

Fern: Are you Jewish?
Lorena: No, I'm Italian.
Fern: Same thing.

Lou: You sniffin' my airplane glue, too?

Fern: You know Lou, when you have kids to raise, you yell.

Heidi: I wanted to sing. And you made me feel like a fool.
Fern: Honey, it's not my fault if you felt like a fool. I *always* supported you. I only wanted you to be more realistic.

Fern: [yelling, after Grandma takes a bread stick] Ma. You know you can't eat solids. Besides, I have a delicious glass of brisket for you.

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