- Nelson Moss: Why a month?
- Sara: Because it's long enough to be meaningful, but short enough to stay out of trouble.
- Nelson Moss: [throws his cell phone in a sink full of water] Marry me!
- [throws his watch]
- Nelson Moss: Marry me! Sarah.
- Nelson Moss: What are you doing?
- Sara: Taking your shirt off.
- Nelson Moss: Why?
- Sara: Because you smell like puppy pee.
- [Waitress spills ice all over the table]
- Waitress: Oh, my, I'm so sorry. Excuse me. Thanks, that's okay.
- Edgar Price: Stop it. You know sweetie, we are what we do in this world, and you're a waitress. All that requires is that you bring the food to and from the table without making a mess. That's it. So when you screw up something as incredibly simple as that, doesn't say a whole hell of a lot about you does it.
- Waitress: I'm sor... I'm sorry.
- Vince Holland: If you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change.
- Edgar Price: They ought to fire her. I always say a bad hire strengthens the competition's hand. A good general feeds off his enemy.
- Nelson Moss: Actually, Sun Tsu said that last line. In The Art of War.
- Chaz: I do believe that is my favourite sweatshirt I see.
- Sara: Uh huh.
- Chaz: You must be November.
- Nelson Moss: I must be November?
- Sara: That's Nelson.
- Chaz: Hey Nelson, how are you? I'm Chaz.
- Nelson Moss: Hey.
- Chaz: You know what? Keep the sweatshirt. It looks better on you.
- Nelson Moss: Is this some kind of uh, communal, culty, Squeaky-Charlie type of deal?
- Nelson Moss: Have you uh... ever considered a career in sales?
- Sara: [laughs] No.
- Nelson Moss: Well, you should. You're relentless.
- Nelson Moss: Have you ever heard of Phalaenopsis Sunderiana? It reminded me of you.
- Sara: You got the job, didn't you?
- Nelson Moss: Best offer anyone ever made me.
- Sara: So when do you start?
- Nelson Moss: We had a little problem agreeing on that. He suggested immediately, I suggested... never.
- Sara: Never?
- Nelson Moss: Never.
- Sara: What are you more afraid of: spending more than two consecutive nights with the same woman, or finding out this thing might not be as crazy as it seems?
- Nelson Moss: [Talking to himself about his advertising campaign] Number one dog, dog at the top.
- Angelica: Slow down, Fido. We need to talk.
- Sara: You live in a box. I could lift the lid, let some light in.
- Nelson Moss: Wow, that's deep! I feel almost cured just hearing it.
- Nelson Moss: Oh my god, you're Chaz Watley.
- Brandon: Oh look, baby's famous.
- Chaz: Don't even go there.
- Chaz: Very impressive set of pecs you've got there Nelson. You work out then? Me, I haven't got time. Your pecs on the other hand, darling, are just edible.
- Vince Holland: Hey, uh, quick order, uh, one cappuccino to go.
- Rachel, Coffee Shop Waitress: Uh, quick answer, no quick orders.
- Nelson Moss: [to himself] Okay, what is it? It's a hotdog. It's a hotdog.
- [tries to take a bite]
- Nelson Moss: It's a hot hotdog.
- [a new ad campaign idea comes to his mind]
- Nelson Moss: It's a hotdog.