Weak at Denise

For about twenty minutes this is a good film. Unfortunately the screenwriters decided after this point to veer off in the direction of badly-plotted tedious farce rather than stay on course towards character comedy thriller.

Nothing makes sense after that point. I maintain that a simple plot where things happen for a reason is better than a convoluted plot where things happen for no reason.

Colin's is very well-drawn and believable but all the other characters less so. His mother, for instance, in one scene tells her son to avoid women and in her next scene she tells him to find one. I wouldn't have minded if this was deliberate but it was simply the screenwriter going for the funniest line and not bothering about consistency.

And the idea that any bloke could get into a lesbian-only club by saying they're friends of a regular is just plain daft. I know, I've tried it.

And bank guarantees are kept at the bank. It defeats the object keeping them at home as they won't guarantee much. I know, I've tried it.

And there are many other dubious plot-points to demolish but I couldn't be bothered.

This is the only time I have been to the movie theatre and had the cashier tell me the film was rubbish, lots of people were walking out and don't bother to see it.

"Weak at Denise" is a black comedy that somehow exceeds all expectations, director Julian Nott is more used to writing classical music but uses his obvious talents to unfold this dark, suburban tale for maximum effect and enjoyment.

The film is the story of Colin (Bill Thomas), an inadequate but likeable man who works in the local benefits office and flies model aircraft in his spare time. Desperate to improve his poor record in the love department Colin places adverts in the local newsagent's window but then, one day, he meets and successfully woos the lovely Denise (Chrissie Cotterill). All is not as it seems however because Denise is really in love with the handsome Roy (Craig Fairbrass) and they have unsavoury plans for the hapless Colin. As the plot unfolds we find that there are even more dimensions and a complex "love pentagon" and exotic murder plot is slowly revealed.

At times hilarious, sleazy, uplifting and shocking this film boasts a complex but clever plot underpinned by excellent performances from the cast. Having seen it people want to talk about this brilliant film and if it doesn't get a decent general release it will surely gain acceptance as a cult classic.

The kind of movie that nobody ever sees. But boy is it fresh and different. Never boring, its just totally cool and funny. It keeps on suprising. My favorite times are when denise is having a sexual fantasy and she can't decide who should be in it.

Mixed about this one. Again, some ex-Eastenders stars, some good characters & acting, one or two funny scenes and the basis of a good & simple story although bizarre.

The problem was it was too long even at 88 minutes. It would've worked better as a one hour TV show as much of the final 3rd became 'time filler'. Sadly too, there's really not a place for Colin's in this world. I couldn't work out why this was an '18' certificate, 15, or even 12 would've suited it more.

As average a film as you'll ever see. Not good. Not bad.