Octopus - Uma Viagem ao Inferno

"Octopus" is utterly boring; and patently ridiculous. What a pathetic waste of a perfectly good Cephalopod. So much time is spent setting up the plot that the octopus gets lost. Sure, the little heroine is totally cute. She can act too; but she can't save this mess on her own. The title "Octopus" is almost a non sequitur! During the interminable espionage conundrums, I kept thinking, "Who cares?" and "Where's the octopus?" And since when do octopi have insect mouthparts? Wouldn't a six foot long cephalopod beak suffice to scare us? The director forgot the monster, and was seemingly trying to remake "Executive Decision" in a submarine; badly. The dialogue, the action and the resolution of this muddle all violated the one axiom of monster pictures. They were boring. The entire film is boring, from start to finish. I am a dedicated monster picture fan and I won't bother to watch this catastrophe again.

I am frequently amazed that none of the directors of modern monster pictures never consider the "Old Man and the Sea" concept; the idea that nature itself is frightening and challenging. This entire film could have been made with six or seven people in a sailboat, trying to fend off a large cephalopod, or two. After all, we need some octopus fodder.

Don't bother with this one. Really. If you're a monster fan it will just make you mad.

7 out of 10

And yes, I realize my one-line summary is damning with faint praise. But seriously, however silly this movie may be, it accomplishes what it sets out to do, and that's to deliver as much wet and slimy action-packed fun as it can in 100 minutes. And no matter what negative things one may say about it, you've got to give it credit for choosing Crimson Tide (and more than a dash of Deep Rising) for inspiration rather than Jaws, which every other movie would have done.

The plot? An inexperienced CIA agent (Jay Harrington) has been assigned to escort a deadly terrorist by submarine. Heading the sub is Captain Shaw (David Beecroft) and along for the ride is a pretty oceanographer (Carolyn Lowery). Anyway, things get bumpy when they encounter a gargantuan octopus (which is actually even larger than the sub) that's been mutated by toxic material from a sunken Cold War Russian submarine.

Straight-to-video creature features are always going to be silly movies; the question is whether or not you can make it into a silly movie that's fun for the right reasons, and Octopus certainly succeeds. In fact, if a few of the submarine sets were cleaned up and made just a tad more elaborate, I could have seen this as a theatrical release (though, don't get me wrong, some of the sub sets, especially the flooded corridors, also look really good). It's about as much fun as Deep Rising, a movie which it borrows liberally from.

Octopus moves at quite a non-stop pace. The opening ten minutes features both a sinking sub AND a present-day chase/shootout sequence that's highlighted by huge explosions and even flipping cars. Director John Eyres continuously mounts the excitement factor once the monster goes on its rampage, concluding things nicely on an oceanliner in a climax that had me grinning. Surprisingly enough, we get competent acting from the likes of Jay Harrington, David Beecroft, and Carolyn Lowery, who make for a likeable and believable trio. Most of the special effects are obviously CGI, but considering the obvious budget limitations, the visuals are really quite good, much like the rest of this silly, but fun flick.

Ok, now I'm convinced that Hollywood producers get together and dare each other to make movies with randomly selected plot elements. This one would have been:

"Make a movie that combines Turbulence, The Hunt for Red October, Leviathan, Sphere, Speed 2, and Deep Rising."

At least, those were the movies I thought of when I was trying to figure out what this movie was. Add in Down Periscope for some "lone woman on a submarine full of horny guys" humor, and you've already seen this movie.

In this movie, Miss Lowery plays an expert in cephalopods. Her performance is funny, clever, fresh and full of energy. She delivers a highly watchable and enjoyable performance that transcends what probably started out as a very stock character. Her skills are noteworthy and she comes across as an actress with a solid grasp on both drama and comedy. Overall, Carolyn Lowery steals the

Well, I was hoping this was going to be a nice little monster movie... something along the lines of Lake Placid or Komodo, both of which I enjoyed. No such luck. It's burdened down by a tedious "terrorist on board" plot, that places it closer to Turbulence (a movie I loathed) for much of its running time. It also doesn't help that the principle terrorist villain is played by quite the worst actor I've seen in any professional film I can currently recall - his version of passing as an elderly woman to infiltrate a US establishment makes Hulk Hogan look like Laurence Olivier, and his performance as his 'normal' terroristic self consists almost entirely of eye-popping, smirking and grimacing. With many principle scenes depending on this character the whole exercise is pretty much doomed from the word go. It also doesn't help that the director's style seems to be based on the principle "telegraph what's about to occur, then telegraph it again, in case the audience is *really* slow". The special effects are passable... they could have been quite effective given an engaging script, some good acting, and sound direction, but they're hardly enough to carry the movie on their own. Carolyn Lowery as the lone significant female in the cast is consistently good... but she and the creature and the explosions can't save this aquatic turkey.