Perdoar e Esquecer

I ran out of good gay movies, so I decided to view this British one from 2000. Convincing acting across the board, but not a very plausible plot whereby two men, one straight and one gay, are friends from childhood. When the straight one finds a serious live-in girlfriend, the gay "mate", because he's secretly in love, hides a malevolent jealousy streak. He actively works to undo his straight friend's romantic relationship and pays the price in the end. At that point, nobody would envy the gay guy, as his life falls into a deep abyss. One can only hope he has learned some important lessons that can help him later.

A person can do strange things when in love. David is a working class boy. His friendship with 'mate' Theo seems to be indestructible. Until Theo is starts living together with his girlfriend Hannah. Nobody knows David is in love with Theo. And very jealous, as it turns out…

David plays 'hard to get' by trying to break up Theo and Hannah's relationship. He succeeds, but his lies are uncovered at the end. Especially after the weekend in Brighton when Theo can only think of Hannah who has left him, while David wants to make fun. When David, still very deep in the closet, expresses his feelings for Theo in a Jenny Jones-like program on television the shit really hits the fan. David is kicked out of the house by his father and Theo's friendship for David turns into pure hate.

Forgive and Forget is a film about friendship an jealousy. You can really wonder why David doesn't come out of the closet earlier: his life would have been easier. The end of the film is quite sudden and the question pops up why there has to be a fight involving an iron bar. Where did Hannah come from in the last scene? Even though: Forgive and Forget is a nice and very well performed film that makes you think.

This 2000 made for TV film is a sham for gay people. It promotes gay bashing, degrades coming out and gives homosexuals a dated persecuted life style. I could have sworn when I saw this trite work, it must have been done in 1960. For certainly gay issues deserve better than this dribble. The fault lies in the writing and directing. Mark Burt writes a trivial and lack-less script with absolutely no compassion for any of the major characters. Aisling Walsh, a woman, directs with no understanding of how to bring any hope to her leading players. She certainly has no understanding of gay life. If she herself is gay, than shame on her. If not, she needs to go to a gay bar or march in a gay pride day parade and surround herself with today's gay people.

The actors do what they can to give believability to this nonsense. Steve John Shepherd plays the young man tortured over his homosexuality. Afraid to come out to his best friend and to his parents. Why he chooses to do so in such a public way, beats me. But he does. I'll say no more as to the outcome and let you see for yourself. Believe me, you won't be surprised. John Simm, hardly, in my eyes, worth all the suffering, is the attraction to Shepherd as his best friend. Simm has his own demons to deal with. And again, you really don't care. He earns his oats. As the unsympathetic and sometimes just down right annoying girl-friend to Simm, Laura Fraser is a real possessive bitch (can I say that word?) A control freak, she deserves losing any guy who would put up with her antics and games. I was hoping she'd lose the guy in the end. Again, see what happens yourself. Again, no surprise.

Then there are the parents that contradict themselves all over the place. An overbearing dad, played by Maurice Roeves, knows nothing but anger and screams through most of the film. What's with this guy? Sometimes overacting, he suddenly has all this tear jerking at the end? And you don't believe it anyway. "Let him go", says he. I would have been gone from this dad a long time ago. And the mother, played by Ger Ryan, sits and bakes pies. Probes her son most of the time to see what's wrong and when she discovers the truth, over public TV, completely disowns him. She begs him to be honest and then slaps him in the face. Give me a break.

I liked Shepherd's work in this and wish he could have had a decent venue to work with. For he gave the most convincing performance. Simm was one level, Fraser was just awful as were the parents.

I give this dated movie a 2 star for Shepherd's performance attempt.

I'd like to defend this as a wonderful film, one of the best I've seen in 5 years or so. Other reviewers obviously have a different take on the film and I can respect those views but I'd suggest a different interpretation from the one they present:

The story revolves around David, a handsome and macho construction foreman who is in love (secretly) with his childhood best friend Theo. David has acclimated to casual sex on the side as long as his primary emotional bond with Theo is intact. When Theo becomes seriously involved with a woman David is in a crisis.

David O'Neil is a man who has reached the age of 23 without having had an adolescence. Like a lot of us gays he has hidden his true feelings until well past the era when there's something of a 'safety net' around him in the form of friends and older siblings who help most teens navigate treacherous the waters of love and the pain of rejection. David has the usual flaw which comes with growing up gay in a homophobic society. He's been prevented from gaining emotional maturity by expressing love for the person he loves when he's 14 or 16 years old. So he's making the sort of blunders which most people make when they are 16 years old, though unfortunately with adult consequences.

I think Aisling Walsh (director) and Mark Burt (writer) are highly sympathetic with David's plight and they understand him quite well. The film is unflinching in its treatment of its subject and certainly does not end with a rosy soft focus closure. We last see David bloody and rejected by most everyone, and yet smiling and saying, "This has been the best day of my life." That is the central theme of the film.

Steve John Shepherd gives a riveting wonderful performance as David. John Simm (as Theo) is one of the most effortlessly naturalistic actors I've seen, comparable to Russel Crowe in his early-90s Australian films. Acting does not get much better than this.

-Steve Robertson

I gave this movie an "8" when I voted for it. It has a tight script and it's extremely well-acted, especially by the closeted gay actor. The ending was thoroughly stupid. It is still worth watching, but be prepared for an ending that is more 1963 than 2003.