Força Delta 5 - Fogo Cruzado

Like watching a snake, OPERATION DELTA FORCE 5: RANDOM FIRE is hard to take one's eyes off of. It is just about the worst movie I have ever seen, and I have seen them all, believe me. Yossi Wein, director of OPERATION DELTA FORCE 2 and OCTOPUS 2, crafts yet another masterpiece of incredibly inept film-making. Uwe Boll, bow before the real master of terrible film-making! You know you're in trouble when a movie's title is longer than the preamble to the Constitution and stars a bunch of muscle builders and what may very well be porn actors who often stand way too close for my comfort -- and was shot in South Africa. That last item guarantees you're in for a nightmarish, almost surrealistic ride. This time out, the Delta Force guys are fighting a Middle Eastern bad guy who is shown in such closeup, you wonder if he may have been humping the camera. He manages to snag some of our heroes and brainwash them to perform various terrorist acts against the western world. It's up to what's left of the force to go in and rescue them and get the bad guy. RANDOM FIRE is a no-budget, non-acted extravaganza that was shot on what appears to be maybe two sets. You would almost think you're watching a spoof of battle films. The leads are played by guys with names like Trae Thomas and Gray Lawson, I kid you not. Don't you just love it? Why such "things" (since they are not movies in the traditional sense) get made is beyond me, other than to fill overnight slots on cheap-o cable stations when all the 900 ads are on, or possibly to serve as a tax write off. For lovers of bad movies only. I gave the movie a "2" instead of a "1" because of good old Trae and Gray.

Performances were polished; actors knew how to handle weaponry and military protocol; action-packed; suspense, eye-candy like Cedric (Graeme Richards) and the villain; comradery worthy of 'Kelly's Heroes'; Heart-stopper, scenic vistas, science fiction twist, good characterization.

As far as epic filmmaking goes, Yossi Wein has hit the nail on the head with this pitch perfect piece of trash movie. It has a certain surreal charm to it. Much like a David Lynch film, Operation Delta Force V: Random Fire leaves many questions open-ended and unanswered.

How come the enemy keeps bombing the same part of the complex in which the Delta Force is stationed...always appearing to have done the same amount of damage? Why is it that five men left the complex safely and yet only four board the helicopter? Why is Jafari bin Kasim's mouth not shown when he talks? If Brad Kennedy survived the missile launch on bin Kasim's hideout, wouldn't he have also taken the same US vessel his fiance was on? If so, why is she surprised when he shows alive as she's sitting down in an outdoor cafe, wearing a sweater, about to drink her lemon-enhanced drink?

All these questions are devices Yossi Wein uses to dangle the audience in his endless mind game. Like a fine wine, this movie gets better and better the more it ages.

10/10 I don't believe in ratings systems, but this film is so good, it deserves one.

Are they serious?! This has to be the most mindless, generic "action" film I've ever seen! The action scenes are filmed in slow motion for some reason, the dialogue is corny and laughable, and many parts of the story are completely unbelievable.

0 stars out of 5. Ugh!

writing as someone who's occasionally liaised with UK and US special forces I can only hope that they have a sense of humour if they ever see this. Certain sections obviously weren't skimped on but surely they could have afforded less flabby and more talented actors and a story that at least tried to inject some tension and humanity.