Frost - Retrato de um Vampiro

This movie was BEAUTIFULLY done in the genre of "Movies no one will ever want to watch." Gary Busey is the only redeeming factor, and not even because of his acting, but because he's Gary Busey. If this movie was never made, I probably would have done something better with the time that was wasted from my life watching this flick. The question every single one of you will have with this movie is...WHY THE GLASSES? The guy NEVER takes off his glasses, except to sleep. Ridiculous.

Overall, I'm willing to give this a star. Only one though. Out of 10. What's that? You want more? You can't have more. Not yours.

One (1) star out of Ten (10)

The movie's abysmal idiocy is not as terrifying as the fact that some of those who comment on it here on IMDb actually like it (like mortalli and coyote13). It's not just bad or disappointing. Someone should be made to PAY for releasing this onto the market. I actually went by Blockbuster's and complained, demanding my money back and for them to take the movie off the shelf. I LOVE the vampire concept, and stalk video stores for anything of the sort, knowing that I will be able to filter any bad things about such a movie out, and enjoy the good parts that I so love. Well, not this time. Absolute torture. Avoid at all costs. Seriously. It's not even funny.

I think there`s a straight to video film called OCTOPUS which spends the first half of its running time being an action packed thriller ( Or meekly tries to ) then all of a sudden turns into a horror movie about a giant octopus . Well it`s the same with PORTRAIT OF A VAMPIRE which opens with a very brief scene with a Jerry Springer lookalike examining a body drained of blood then the film flashes back to Afghanistan in August 1989 ( Hadn`t the red army pulled out of there before then ? )which resembles the Nex Mexico desert . Not very convincing but it gets worse as we`re treated to a battle scene featuring CGI helicopters . How do I know they`re CGI ? Well it`s so obvious it`s impossible not to notice . It`s also impossible not to notice the pathetic standard of acting either and it`s at this point the script decides to meet the production`s dismal standards as it bores us ( No spoilers because you can see it coming a mile away ) with double and triple crosses in Mexico a year later . It`s at this point you find yourself asking what have I got to do to get an equity card ? , or how come film companies turn my scripts down when they finance crap like this ? and most importantly if this movie is called PORTRAIT OF A VAMPIRE then shouldn`t it be a horror film and not a crap action thriller similar to something Cannon used to produce in the mid 1980s ? It does turn into a horror movie about halfway through but the horror aspects are as badly done as the action adventure bits . I was going to feel sorry for Gary Busey appearing in this but it`s not like someone stuck a gun to head and made him do it . If you decide to appear in a film like this it`s your own fault and you deserve no sympathy

So just to sum up if you enjoy horror films you won`t want to see this because it`s not a horror film , it`s a horrible film . And if you enjoy action films you won`t want to see it either due to the laughable production values

Actually I watched this on a Turkish satelitte channel. Can you believe that?? Kudos to the producers of this movie; they succeeded to find some suckers that actually payed MONEY to this emberassingly bad bad movie. The lead is a 80s George Micheal on steroids who has a fetish for shades and what the hell is Gary Busey doing in this movie??really? He is the one responsible for me not turnin off this flick after 5 minutes thinking maybe something worthy will happen in the upcoming minutes but no no way. Nothing in no way will make you interested or pay attention throughout the whole running time. I couldn't stand more so turned it off before the final confrontation. The production values and the acting quality is on par with cheap porn movies-and I mean the really cheap ones not f.e the vivid ones-. But I have to give it to the director for finding someone to pay money for this one. Believe me after watchin this movie thats the only question that comes to your mind.. What kind of a producer in his right mind can be persuaded to invest in this flick?

This movie was absolute crap. Nothing in it makes sense. It's funny because there's just no point. Read the tagline! What the hell does that even mean? Were they trying to make a horrible film?

The lead actor, whose name is Jack Frost in the movie, looks like a cross between George Michael and Kevin Smith. It's all downhill form there. They try to incorporate some sort of ridiculous war story into the plot, and it doesn't work at all. All of the actors just look goofy and the writing just makes no sense at all. They do throw in some nudity for good measure though, and to keep people from turning the movie off. I imagine they were trying to make Frost into some sort of cult hero like Ash or something, but, no, not even close. He walks around with his stupid sunglasses killing people. It's all really, really lame. So, yeah, they got all that. Then they got some top of the line computer effects. The helicopters in the movie will blow you away, I totally couldn't tell they were fake, same goes for the bats. I couldn't believe that the director, or whoever the hell it was did a special feature w/ commentary for the special effects. They're laughable at best. The whole movie is laughable actually. Gary Busey's total screen time is about 2 minutes. 2 non-consecutive minutes.

If you're looking for a laugh, definitely check this out. The complete non-sensical-ness(word?) all will have you cracking up.