Agente 003 1/2

This movie cracked me up the whole time, I couldn't stop laughing or commenting,that Weng Weng is a dwarf had nothing to do with it. (ok, there were a couple of times) If you want to watch a movie that is a really terrible production but fun to watch, this is the one for you. Weng Weng truly is a gifted martial artist and fun to watch do stunts, one in particular made me gasp for his safety. If you go in not expecting a lot from this movie I think you will greatly enjoy it, especially if you watch it with some friends.

At the height of his popularity, Weng Weng was invited by then First Lady, Imelda Marcos to the palace in honor for his contributions to Philippine cinema. He was also named an honorary Philippine Secret Agent and was presented a custom-made .25 caliber pistol by then Vice Chief of Staff General Fidel Ramos.

I watched this at 2am and it was entertaining in the way a movie littered with obvious and repeated gags can sometimes be, but then again I was drunk so my judgement may have been slightly impaired. Then again my tolerance for bad movies tends to go down if I've had a few, so I'd say yeah it's worth watching.

Anyway the only reason I'm writing this is because while I was watching the movie I couldn't for the life of me figure out the theme music which is the accompaniment pretty much throughout. It was only near the end that I realised it's a mangled version of Nights in White Satin by The Moody Blues, made to sound "a bit James Bond-ish". I wonder if the Moodies even know their song was used for this?

The synopsis sounds pretty fun, but I didn't enjoy this movie as much as I'd hoped to... it's quite cheaply and poorly made. Scenes begin and end without much continuity. The acting is horrendous. The dubbing, while ridiculously bad, isn't all that funny.

I do thank Mondo Macabro for including some additional information about the star and the movie, and for including a second movie, Challenge of the Tiger, which I haven't watched yet. Possibly the other Agent 00 movie would have made a better companion, or a collection of trailers for his movies. I would have liked to have heard the original language soundtrack as well. Oh well.

Still, I'm glad such a silly movie exists, and that it has been preserved.

Sometimes I feel like a pusher: I take an obscure film and introduce innocent people to it. For free. Then smile and laugh when they come crawling back to me for another fix.

"For Your Height Only" is the drug which has addicted many on first exposure. And no matter how many times one has seen it, the craving grows...

The DVD is out of print (and the price is heading steadily up), but worth keeping an eye out for since you will want a format which won't wear out during multiple sharings with new "customers". DVD is also nice to have for quick reverses to confirm, "Did I just see that?"

The movie is worth owning for the "Butt Slap of Death" scene alone.

Only one thing could make this film funnier: Weng Weng's voice dubbed into a deep baritone. Maybe I'll tackle it someday... (Actually, WW's own speaking voice was said to be very rich. The dub makes him rather squeaky. And as has been mentioned, the gangsters are dubbed in Aussie versions of 20's American gangsters... marvelous!)

Several sources claim there is a sequel to this film ("The Impossible Kid"), and perhaps even two ("Agent 00"). Tracking these down have become the Holy Grail of my film collecting. (Some other aliases for the sequel may be "The Impossible Kid of Kung Fu", "The Incredible Kung Fu Kid", and "007&1/2: Nothing is Impossible".)

Good things come in small packages!

"For Y'ur Height Only" rivals "Withnail and I" for great dialogue. How often have I howled at lines like "There's a lot of dough in this dough, the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker" - if only we knew what the hell that's supposed to mean. Maybe it's better not to know - as Mr Kaiser warns, "Don't be a nosy parker, Paco: with that curiosity of yours, you're liable to wake up one day and find yourself dead."

If you ever want a shining example of a plot device, then check out the scene where our hero's taxi runs out of petrol. There's plenty of other shortcomings, but you'll never see or hear anything else quite like it. All praise to the visionary who introduced me to this gem. Go seek it out.