Agente 003 1/2

(53%) A truly unique movie that really has to be seen to be believed. It's a James Bond spoof staring a midget as he takes on the many bad guys with guns, gadgets and his bare hands. Normally a movie like this sounds fun but the film itself is either too boring or too poorly made to be worth a look, but this really is quite a good little fun and watchable film. There's tons of action too as Weng Weng guns down hundreds, well the same five men, in a scene that rivals commando in sheer body count. Overall it's much better made than the awful Godfrey Ho movies, and is perhaps worth tracking a copy down just to watch something a little bit different.

Meet our hero Agent 00 (Weng Weng). Lover. Fighter. Badass secret agent dude. Fashion plate. He does it all, and then some, and he's only two and a half feet tall. Naturally, he's the best hope for the forces of good when the minions of the nefarious Mr. Giant kidnap scientist Prof. Kohler (Mike Cohen). Kohler has devised an all powerful N bomb that Mr. Giant will use to control the world. As he works his way through a sexy bevy of babes, so too does Agent 00 beat up and mow down one incredibly inept bad guy after another.

Here's one for you to check out if you think you've seen it all. A combination of dwarfsploitation and spy spoof, it gets a fair bit of mileage out of some truly gut busting vocal performances / dubbing and uproarious dialogue. The sight of our diminutive hero soaring through the air and effortlessly clobbering goons is good for much amusement. Unfortunately, for this viewer, the novelty ultimately wore off with a fair bit of movie left to go. The good news is that it's never really boring; it does have energy. And while it tends to be crudely made, that's not a debit for this brand of entertainment. (Obviously, it IS intended to be a comedy.)

Among the highlights: Agent 00 meeting with a boss who's a combination of the "M" and "Q" characters from the James Bond franchise, the sight of him using an umbrella to make an escape (after taking an understandable pause to romance a lady in a bed), and flying towards the bad guys' hidden fortress by using a jet pack.

The Bond style music is catchy, but it's also repetitive. And just like many a Bond film, the ladies are outstanding scenery attractions. The smooth Mr. Weng is quite a hoot to watch.

Seven out of 10.

Like the reviewers before me, I have to say the dialogue in this movie makes it worth the watch. What no one else mentioned though, was that the voice actors used Edward G Robinson & James Cagney voices for all the villain characters. I don't know about you, but I doubt gangsters in the Philippines talk like that!

A lot has been said of Weng Weng and his spy "devices", but the thing that cracked me up was the wardrobe of the Crime Syndicate - either Hawaiian shirts or button down shirts open down to the navel. These guys looked like rejects from a cheap disco!

If you love bad movies, run, dont walk, to your video store and get this one!

Plot goes like this: Agent 00 (Weng Weng, under 3-foot tall Filipino superspy) has to track down the boss of a seemingly endless crime syndicate (admittedly played by a handful of non-actors) for kidnapping a doctor and his deadly weapon. Literally, that's it. There's some hand-to-hand combat, with Weng taking on thugs who tower over him, which actually gets pretty entertaining, what little there is of it. These scenes always incorporate his signature move: A swift kick or chop to the crotch. But the vast bulk of the fight scenes, and this movie is primarily made up of them, are ENDLESS GUN BATTLES. No, not even "battles," various stooges line up, or come barreling in, WAITING to be shot. Let me tell you, that got real dull in a hurry, and the movie's almost 90 minutes long.

Weng Weng's partner Irma, who he rescues from being shot in an incredibly bad edit (also resulting in a gun fight), appears to be the only competent person on set who can believably appear to be able to kick someone's ass. Which is ironic in a movie including a veritable army of bad guys. One sequence has Weng attacked by guys with swords. None look competent of holding one, never mind wielding it. So... More Irma?

Other foxy ladies appear. Weng charms, kind of. He's supposed to be this suave ladies man. There's one scene where a woman seduces HIM, tells HIM to take his clothes off, we witness his giant nipples, and... End scene. Maybe I missed some more subtle flirting, frankly, I was falling asleep. He gets it on with NO ONE, at least not on screen.

All the stuff I actually enjoyed in this film are overshadowed by an overabundance of gunplay. Such as, there's no stand-in for Weng Weng. So, "Stunts by Weng." The rocket pack is pretty amusing, where he is obviously being held by a wire (fact that the wire is clearly visible doesn't help). He climbs, kicks ass, and can jump like a cat, clearly the star of the show (well, occasionally upstaged by his partner). Ultimately, the film has it charms, but is totally bogged down in filler, and lack of a real story.

Sometimes I feel like a pusher: I take an obscure film and introduce innocent people to it. For free. Then smile and laugh when they come crawling back to me for another fix.

"For Your Height Only" is the drug which has addicted many on first exposure. And no matter how many times one has seen it, the craving grows...

The DVD is out of print (and the price is heading steadily up), but worth keeping an eye out for since you will want a format which won't wear out during multiple sharings with new "customers". DVD is also nice to have for quick reverses to confirm, "Did I just see that?"

The movie is worth owning for the "Butt Slap of Death" scene alone.

Only one thing could make this film funnier: Weng Weng's voice dubbed into a deep baritone. Maybe I'll tackle it someday... (Actually, WW's own speaking voice was said to be very rich. The dub makes him rather squeaky. And as has been mentioned, the gangsters are dubbed in Aussie versions of 20's American gangsters... marvelous!)

Several sources claim there is a sequel to this film ("The Impossible Kid"), and perhaps even two ("Agent 00"). Tracking these down have become the Holy Grail of my film collecting. (Some other aliases for the sequel may be "The Impossible Kid of Kung Fu", "The Incredible Kung Fu Kid", and "007&1/2: Nothing is Impossible".)

Good things come in small packages!