Python, a Cobra Assassina

*SPOLIERS* Okay I saw this at the video store, and chuckled at it.

I read it and chuckled again. Horror? This is not a horror movie. This a comedy! It's so bad in some parts that its funny! Don't get me wrong, this movie wasn't HORRIBLE. It wasn't a very good horror movie though. Some things that are disappointing: The snake looks so fake. You can tell it's computer. The snake at the start seems to have trouble w/ the wooden wall, but breaks down walls and a steel door in one hit elsewhere The snake on Robert Englund's finger reamins stiff throughout and looks fake. Good things: Jenny McCarthy (The funniest sequence in the movie! That song!) Robert Englund Casper VanDiem (however the hell you spell it) Lesbian Sex

Other things about the movie: The movie wasn't scary. But it was funny as Hell! Like the ending! "I killed a giant python, and all I got was this lousey t-shirt" Again, not a good horror film but excellent comedy! Horror rating: 3/10 Comedy rating: 8/10 Overall, good movie to watch if your in for a good laugh at pathetic filmmaking.

This movie was OK, but it's no Anaconda. I didn't like the fact that the acting was horrible, there were some characters that you couldn't help but laugh at, and they set it up like a slasher movie. This is a monster movie, you can't put half naked girls running through a forest in a movie about a giant snake. The one thing I did like is that Robert Englund was in the film. He is the reason I even took the time to watch it. Also, I liked the gore(even though there wasn't much.) I recommend this movie to anyone who is looking for a good laugh. Python II was MUCH better. Boa Friggin' sucked, and Anaconda is absolutely brilliant. By the way, go see Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orcid.

It is quite rare in this world to come upon a stroke of pure genius such as Python. Superb acting, a plot with more turns than a meter stick, and the special effects...Oh the special effects. Lets just say that George Lucas better watch out cuz the lead animator of Python Kevin Little is on his ass! So what if Johnny from Karate Kid is in it. So what if their plan to kill the snake was as half assed as they come( the guy took his harness off to put another one on!). Who cares if they out ran a snake that supposedly goes 50mph on bikes...which they made sure to put their helmets on before riding. And the ending...The ending was pure cinematic genius. I mean a bike shop/bar. Why haven't I come up with this idea. I could sell bikes and drink beer at the same time. That's unbelievable. And she's pregnant! Hooray! What is that about huh? Is she having mutant half snake half Johnny from karate kid babies? Why do we need to know this! And six months? It took that douche six months to get this ugly beast in the sack! I mean come on. If they are gonna be casting a female lead would you pick this chick! They had Jenny McCarthy in the movie for 2 minutes ( which were excruciating by the way) and they have this hose beast in the lead female role. What up wit dat! This was atrocious!

Stay Black,

Jamal the Love Mule

Ok, so this movie was a piece of trash. The snake, which only appeared two or three times in the whole movie, looked like the graphics from a Super Nintendo. And the writing sounded like it was written by people from Sesame Street. And let's not even talk about the random lesbian scene at the beginning of the movie, (I don't even know where to start with that one.) But COME ON!!!!! WIL WHEATON!!!!! How could you not like a movie that has Wil Wheaton in it. This purple hair really did something for me. I know I would like to buy a house from some punk kid with purple hair. And that death scene. That should have won an oscar! It isn't everyday that you see Wesley Crusher butted into a wall and then eaten by a giant venom spitting Python. This is just a fun movie to watch. Watch it with some friends. It is a hoot!

Python is a film that is very reminiscent of those classic *B* horror films of the 1950's. It's a film that you know from the start won't win any awards for acting, directing or writing, but you find yourself unable to turn it off. You can't blame anyone but yourself for watching this film for the simple fact, you knew what to expect before you even began watching it. The star of the film is a HUGE python, genetically engineered to be almost indestructible, the characters are never fully developed, but overall, the film is fun to watch and if you can call this film a guilty pleasure, then no need to hang your head in shame, I found it hard to turn away, too!