Christy

With credits including "a cast of thousands" and "introducing Little Annie", CHRISTY is an underwhelming NYC porn opus about, you guessed it, an underage girl. Print quality of the ABA DVD reissue was so poor it reminded me of those mock-ads (actually public service announcements) a few years back making fun of illegally-videotaped from the audience of a movie theater copies.

Valerie Marron is the title role player, whose ample chest quickly reassures us that she is actually over the age limit. She's saddled with Andrea True and Marc Stevens as parents (!) and Eric Edwards fairly early in his career as her boyfriend, so no wonder she's messed up.

Christy dances in a topless bar, where she goes on a date with a customer who's aware, due to an outburst by jealous coworker Cindy West, that Christy's jailbait. Her parents come home and find the two making love, cueing the film sidetracking into an extortion plot, whereby Stevens & True demand $2500 from the John to hush it up.

When Cindy visits while Valerie's away, Stevens rapes her, but of course she (and the legion of Cindy West fans) love it. True portrays the neglected housewife, but her solution is novel, she seduces her own daughter for kicks.

Harry Reems, replete with trademark mustache, guests as door-to-door lingerie salesman John Fuller, who True quickly seduces. Stevens arrives home while they're at it, carrying a rifle (!), and the film falls apart at this point with a stupid attempt at comedy where Reems supposedly jumps out of the window. Exit: stage right, Snagglepuss.

Director Steve Harris, billed as "Leo the Lion" on the print I watched (usually that is the pseudonym for Leonard Kirtman), proves he's totally incompetent with the final reels, as sloppily executed as the most amateur of porn films.

Stevens rapes his daughter and True joins in for an incestuous 3-some, but actual melodrama of Marc stabbed by a random guy out on the street when asking directions is injected with no resolution -theater of cruelty time. Edwards gets to have outdoor sex with Valerie, but a completely confusing film twist has him getting beat up at her bar by a black customer and ending up in jail where Valerie plans their marriage.

Basically any nonsense that comes to mind is thrown into the stew for an inept programmer like CHRISTY. Contempt for the audience, always implicit when Marc Stevens is cast in a leading role, is the Prime Directive for filmmakers at this level. The film's tagline, recited by Stevens, True and Marron alternating words in the sentence is "The family that lays together stays together", the identical bit of corn enunciated in yet another equally stupid incest movie I just watched.