Hércules Contra os Mongóis

As I've said in other reviews, the sword and sandal genre isn't exactly one that I enjoy. But I think even those who do enjoy its offerings will find this particular one tough to sit through. One big reason for that is that the hero (Maciste or Hercules, depending on what version you watch) is particularly weak. Not when it comes to physical strength (though his strength does fluctuate through the movie), but when it comes to his character. We learn nothing about him, like how he got to this part of the world or what he feels or thinks about anything. In fact, he's off screen for big chunks of the running time. This might have been looked over had the movie done well in other areas, but it doesn't. While the awful dubbing does provoke a few chuckles here and there, it doesn't make up for the fact the movie is extremely dull. There's far more talk than action, and when there is action, it's staged and directed in a very feeble fashion. It didn't take long into watching the movie for me to wish that it would end much quicker than it actually did, and I suspect that you'll feel the same way as well.

The version of this movie I saw was called "Hercules Against the Mongols"

Hercules, dubbed within an inch of his life and his loins covered within an inch of his modesty, is told he is to fight the Mongols by an oracle.

A female voice then tells us it's 1227. She continues to tell us of the leaders of Mongolian tribes that Hercules will fight. They are the three sons of Ghengis Khan and they lust for conquest. To incite their people to go to war they kill one of their own and blame "THE WHITE MAN!" THE WHITE MAN must be punished!

The Mongols burn houses (in this movie symbolically represented by a miniature hut) and kill many WHITE MEN or take them as slaves. Amid all the confusion you can always tell the Mongols from THE WHITE MAN. The Mongols are hairy, manly and wearing leather. THE WHITE MEN are shaved, feminine and wearing felt.

The Mongols discover that an heir to THE WHITE MAN's throne has escaped. "We must find him!" exclaims one son of Ghengis Khan. "We must kill all the legitimate heirs to the throne!" The boy, Alexander, wanders through the woods and comes across Hercules who is playing pick-up-sticks with tree trunks. "Why are you moving those trees?" asks Alexander, his dubbed voice sounding like he is speaking in a wind tunnel. "What are you doing out here, little boy?" asks the grinning, mostly unclad Hercules in what is the movie's creepiest moment.

It isn't long before Hercules is fighting the Mongols. Hercules picks up a tree trunk and stands there as the Mongols ride their horses into him. Defeated, the Mongols sneer "We will meet again!" and run off.

Beefcake films are more of a curiosity nowadays but I must admit I enjoy watching them. They are, by no means, Great cinema but they are fun to watch: half-clad men fighting, posing, and delivering absurd lines.

The only disappointment was the lack of the midget actor usually found in these films. How can it be an Italian production without a midget?

Afterthought: There is one fight with a lion that is pretty harrowing and could be considered cruelty to animals. If you are squeamish about such things be forewarned: you may want to skip this one.

Loincloth!

HERCULES AGAINST THE MONGOLS is another film about the exploits of Maciste, whose name was changed to Hercules for American audiences.

One day, while building a nifty footbridge, Hercules / Maciste is given a prophesy that he must face the hordes of Genghis Khan. It seems that the sons of Khan are thundering across the land, making a big mess of things.

It's not long before Herc grabs a tree in order to teach the Mongols a lesson in civility.

Batter up!

Meanwhile, the Mongols capture the beautiful Bianca de Tuleda (Jose Garci) and her people. Allowing himself to be caught, Big H infiltrates the Mongol empire. Obviously, this leads to the obligatory "test of strength", this time, proving who is worthy of Bianca.

Many are killed, and H-Man must hold up a huge slab of granite (aka: styrofoam) or more will perish! When he's locked up in a cell with a lion, he must prove he's the true "king of beasts". In his bathrobe, no less!

Can our favorite human forklift defeat the sons of Khan?

This is a rather fast-paced movie with a boffo finale featuring battle and disaster! Lovers of the genre will be utterly entertained...

Though Genghis Khan eventually sought peace with the West, his death in 1227 AD puts into power his three war-like sons: Sayan, Susdal, and Kin Khan. These sons quickly overrun the city of Tuleda and take prisoner Princess Bianca, though young Prince Alessio escapes. Hercules comes to the rescue of Bianca, winning her freedom in a tournament in exchange for becoming a slave himself.

This is actually a Machiste peplum not a Hercules one - despite the title - and it's an ok one with Mark Forest doing what he does best, giving the bad guys a hard time such as using a tree as a weapon as he takes on Sayan's Mongol cavalry and when he takes on a Lion with a iron bar. There's some good fight sequences as well as some by the numbers action with extras just running around amidst the battle. It keeps one watching, though it can get tedious and the plot doesn't flow neatly. Still it's enjoyable and plus there Maria Grazia Spina to ogle at - she plays a manipulative girlfriend of Genghis Khan's son, but sees the error of the ways when he turns on her.

I purchased a dollar DVD, with a double feature purportedly of Hercules and the Princess of Troy and Herculese Prisoner of Evil. The latter turns out not to resemble its description on the box, nor the description under that title in its IMDb listing, but is in fact this movie here, Maciste contro i Mongoli. The title and credit sequence are missing, the movie beginning with a female voice-over and the funeral pyre of Genghis Khan. The references to the WHITE MAN noted by another reviewer were also not apparent. The faded Eastmancolor print lacks all yellow tones, so everything is red or green, making "Hercules" a shiny red fellow. Since it is clearly stated in the first minute to be the thirteenth century, and "Hercules" himself claims to be a Christian, it would make as much sense to call the character Tarzan. There is an inordinate amount of carrying large objects, especially logs and battering rams, with which people are poked or knocked down. The freudian implications of that, along with the bulging bosoms of "Hercules," are disturbing. I was impressed by what elaborate sets, props and costumes, and how many extras, could be summoned for such an otherwise cheesy movie. I am not sure it was worth my fifty cents, but I am glad I didn't pay two bucks to rent it. The DVD claims to be from the Family Value Collection, but is otherwise unlabeled as to its place of origin. It does say it was Digitally Remastered though.