O Instrutor

Wow, where do I start... there is a character called Thumper, the lead actor has hair that looks like it's a nasty wig made out of Fun Furr, many scenes go nowhere and have nothing to do with the movie, the only ninja is retarded, and all of the lead characters are middle aged, have gold chains, hairy chests, bad hair, and expensive sports cars - referred to by my friend as "impotence mobiles."

The movie is poorly written and acted, which is what usually happens when the same person directs, produces, writes, and stars in a low budget film. The movie appears to follow the standard good martial arts instructor vs. evil martial arts instructor. Some of the more ridiculous scenes are: 1) Thumper winning a martial arts tournament, though we questioned his ability to do this as he was knocked out cold by one punch from a biker earlier in the film; 2) during the same tournament, the officials/referees who score the match and can override other judges scores, are the instructors of the competitors - talk about conflict of interest; 3) the female black belt, who when confronted by 4 thugs, let's them get fresh with her, then flails helplessly before finally starting to defend herself. Geez...

While I don't think it's the worst movie ever, it's definitely got to be seen to be believed. There are some unintentionally funny scenes, and many things make no sense. So be forewarned, and watch at your own risk.

Obviously people here do not "understand" cinema. This is one of the most luminous pieces of celluloid (I mean VHS) master pieces to have ever graced my grocery store shopping cart. The 99 cents I spent on this movie was too cheap a price to pay. I payed 99 cents for poor martial arts action from a middle aged goon whose love of his students get's the better of his judgment. So that's like 90 cents for action, 5 cents for drama, 3 cents for making sense, and that leaves one cent left for Thumper. With names like, "Thumper" how can you go wrong. The opening sequence is wonderful and deliciously shot poorly. The chase scene was incredulously long and very anti-climactic. It involved, cars, bikes, and chainsaws, running through the woods and streams. Don't forget all of the poorly executed stunts. This movies charms it's way into your heart via the phrase "I don't see no anchor tied to your ass boy!" and all of the obligatory "crotch" grabbing sequences. I mean, The Instructor grabs so many testicles in the first fight alone! How can that not be awesome. He dodges bullets, fights goons with swords, and through poor editing seamlessly kicks a guy off a motorcycle (that's probably the best scene, aside from the ninja picking his nose). It is well worth a watch. It made me laugh harder than any other honest attempt to make a martial arts film, ever, from a guy that looks like the Instructor. Through it's poor acting and editing it makes me yearn for the days of America Ninja 4, when Micheal Dudekoff was way too "good" to be in any subsequent sequels since American Ninja 2. Oh, the glory of '83. Instructor, I say "Thank You!" for Instructing....me....how to....um....laugh...or something. that's a ten baby, for Jawsome!

Aside from concerns about artistic quality, The Instructor was quite fun. Bendell was creating, Chaney was acting, both were stepping outside their areas of expertise. Taken in context, the film was enjoyable. Having trained under Chaney, I understand the film. I may not quite understand why they made the film, but I'm glad they did. As for the film itself, it is classic: action, heroism, and the boy gets the girl in the end. A time-honored theme in a changing environment at the time. Of course, the memories most likely to stay with the viewer are the interminable running and the close-up hand action. Of them all, the hand-action was the least effective for the non-martial artist. Though a student of martial arts might enjoy the hand technique, the lay viewer would simply see flashing hands without understanding. As for the ninja who was not quite adept, he provided a lot of humor. I'd recommend the film for adult-like kids and kid-like adults.

A short, pudgy "karate" expert refuses to get revenge on those that killed his wife but has a serious rivalry with another school run by a total jerk. Meanwhile a weirdo wants a trophy and nearly kills a karate guy, there's a chase, and a fight, then a total fart of an ending.

Yikes, what a terrible movie. It's that certain kind of terrible that you have to see. Deluded people, bad acting, horrid fight scenes, nonsensical plot, meandering scenes, it's all here. Definitely a bad movie night movie, but it's truly inept in all ways otherwise. Not sure if I suggest actually buying the bluray or DVD, but watch it once for sure.

You might suspect that the plot of this movie was written in the process of filming. It begins as a "punks versus vigilante" movie, but in the middle of the film, the plot changes abruptly when the vigilante turns to be an honest man with his honest girl and his honest gym and has to fight the corrupt "businessmen" who want to turn the gym down at any cost to build a mall or something. Then, the plot changes again, and we forget about the corrupt guys. The villain now is the friend of the leading man, who thinks he is a Ninja. The guy becomes "crazy evil" and wants at any cost to win a Martial Arts Contest. Seeing this movie is like having a nightmare with the television on.