Segura a Onda

There are a couple of these movies you catch on cable that manage to sneak some real wit and sympathy into a no-man's-land of stylistic boredom that doesn't even earn the name B-movie ( where this kind of movie is concerned, it's always 1986. )

There are rules to watching a movie like this. You never call them by their real name, because you can't remember their real name, but are to be referred to instead by embarrassed asides to your girlfriend that go entirely ignored while she flips through a Zagat guide, such as "I saw this piece of s--t with Burt Reynolds and Sinbad that was actually kind of funny." Also, you never watch them from beginning to end, but catch them in the middle. Failure to obey this law could result in a meteoric drop in self-esteem and feeling of productivity. That feeling like "the day's being wasted."

The art of a car-wash movie consists of brushing against cliché then pulling back at the last moment. The trick isn't to get you to laugh, but to keep you smiling internally. It's all in the delivery. When Jamie Foxx first encounters a vaguely hostile Little League team and says "Children of the corn," it could very easily come off like a hokey black pop-culture reference to get the Magic Johnson Cineplex crowd roaring. But in this movie, he says it quietly, as if to himself, with a girlishly shocked tinge to his voice. The result is that you find yourself chuckling about the line a half-hour later or after the movie has ended, instead of while it's happening. Most of the jokes here work like that.

And Jamie Foxx is so charming in this film. He looks "street" enough but acts the ninnyhammer as well as Woody Allen, and there's a refreshing lack of explanation about why he's such a nerd. Who else can play the badass, the geek, the samaritan, the tormented artist, the preening genius, and every shade in between, and never coast on the support and shared background of a presumed black audience? There is no pandering in Foxx's performances, no trace of the veiled minstrel show that otherwise plagues most black performers who fall back on those tricks for easy laughs.

A prescription: If you don't believe me that there's a finesse to making even a good bland film, then watch Legally Blonde 2 back-to-back with this one and learn the error of your ways.

During a vacation road trip across the Midwest, Rae is irritated enough but when she finds out that Michael spent $10,000 more than she wanted to on a car she is annoyed because the money could have gone on the house. Rae abandons him at a garage and head to the nearest airport; Michael plans to follow her but when his car is stolen he finds himself stuck in the garage diner. As if dealing with the locals is not hard enough for Michael, a robbery at the garage just makes things more complicated for him.

Although it is apparent exactly what sort of film this was going to be, I was attracted by the presence of Nia Long and Jamie Foxx. The comedy is basic and I had hoped that the playing of the actors would provide enough energy to make up for what I expected to be pretty weak material. True to form the plot is stupid and the humour is very basic and I didn't really ever laugh. Happily the script avoids the usual reverse-racism that seems to be the norm in any comedy with black leads but it doesn't have a great deal going for it in its place.

The film seems to rely totally on the playing of the actors – which is a problem because nobody really does that well. Imagine my disappointment when Nia Long turned out to have very little screen time to speak of. Looking down the barrel of the 2005 Oscars, it is amusing to look back and see Foxx as he used to be – essentially a clowning comedian who had not been asked to actually act. Here that is all he does and he does manage to make his stuff a bit better thanks to his energy and charisma but he is not a miracle worker and he cannot raise the material apart from once or twice. The support cast features a surprising amount of well known faces but none of them really do much with the basic material; still, it was strange to see Corbin, Cullum, Busey, Hagerty, Jackson, Sanchez and a few other "known them when you see them" people.

Overall a pretty darn poor film all told with very basic material throughout. The cast are reasonably recognisable but only Foxx manages to inject energy and even then he only does it well now and again. Very few laughs and very little entertainment value – Jamie Foxx looks to have moved on from this sort of stuff, so should you.

HELD UP (2000) *1/2 Jamie Foxx, Nia Long, Barry Corbin, John Cullum, Jake Busey, Michael Shamus Wiles, Sarah Paulson, Eduardo Yanez, Julie Hagerty. (Dir: Steve Rash) Jamie Foxx is a definite up and coming star in the making.

Witness his eponymous WB tv series, his stint on the ensemble Fox hit, 'In Living Color' and last year's dramatic acting debut in Oliver Stone's bone-crunching look at pro football as a cocksure, divaesque quarterback in 'Any Given Sunday.' That's what makes it all the more difficult to figure out why he squandered his naturally given gift in this lame fish-out-of-water comedy.

Foxx stars as a put-upon guy named Mike who's traveling cross country with his sexy girlfriend Rae (the luscious Long, equally wasted) only to wind up in a podunk backwater Arizona desert town, North Butte. After a quarrel due to Rae learning Mike has spent nearly every dime into the vintage Stuedebaker they're tooling around in leads a seriously angry Rae to leave Mike to his own resources as she bums a ride in a pick-up of good ol' boys to head back to the local airport for the first plane back home to Chicago.

Chagrined Mike winds up facing a firecracker string of bad luck from getting his classic ride carjacked, to being left with fifty bucks and finally being held up in the convenience store he's been dumped at. There is the meat of the action – more or less – as Mike uses his sarcastic tone to great effect in negotiating with the dim novice robber Rodrigo (Yanez) who can't command two thoughts at the same time. Among the hostages include a local gal named Mary (Paulson, an uncanny Kelly Preston look-alike), a leather capped biker (Wiles) so engrossed in his magazine reading he barely notices the crime except to pontificate on every germaine item that pops into conversation a la Cliff Clavin of 'Cheers', and the world-weary store owner Jack (Cullum, late of the cult tv series 'Northern Exposure'), who has an answer for everything as well.

To gum up the works is the local sheriff, Pembry (Corbin, also from 'Exposure'), who has an ax to grind with Mike for ruining his little league baseball game which is still in progress as he tries to command his inept squad of Barney Fifes including his by the book deputy Beaumont (Busey, son of Gary) who provides the official rules of negotiation by the FBI from its cellophaned shrink wrapping.

Foxx does the best with the dog-eared hoary plot such as it is and does his own riff on this ill-advised comedy attempt of 'Dog Day Afternoon' with not much at risk and a pedestrian pace by the director Steve Rash. The one running gag of a kid in the store thinking Mike is Puff Daddy is the atypical type of humor strung out for a laugh.

The only thing that's held up is the audience's patience and the tight leash the film has on its star's true talent.

I must admit, when I sat down to watch this, I was pleasantly surprised; it was funnier than I had imagined... however, with my expectations being very, very low, it doesn't really mean that the film is anything more than average. A pretty good amount of laughs, but nothing memorable. The ending seemed to be too much of a "happy ending" and was obviously done to open the film up to the mainstream crowd. The plot is decent enough, but it is obviously just written to put the characters in unlikely situations, and is at least a little too over-the-top. The pacing is pretty good, the film isn't really boring for the 90 minutes it lasts(then again, it isn't really *that* hard to make people laugh for an hour and a half). The characters are somewhat well-written, and one or more manage to rise above simply being tired stereotypes. The dialog is often quite humorous, and mostly well-delivered. The acting is decent, for a bunch of no-names; the only well-known actors in the cast are Jake Busey and Jamie Foxx, both of whom prove their worth as comedic actors. The humor is quite good, if a bit dull and predictable. The film has next to no memorable parts to it, though it is somewhat funny. All in all, an average comedy, and worth watching *once* if you can see it for free. I recommend it to fans of typical American comedies. If it's on TV, see it, unless you've seen it before. I have seen it once, and have no intention of seeing it again. 5/10

This is a pretty silly movie. The idea of someone holding up a place at gunpoint, taking hostages, and the hostages eventually sympathizing and siding with the robber... well, it's been done before and much better. The talent of Nia Long is wasted in this movie. Most of her screen-time takes place at the very beginning and end of the film.

I gave this an extra star simply because Jamie Foxx has some funny moments in this. He's a major talent and really deserves to do better films than this. He's a great actor, both comic and dramatic. And the rest of the cast are all very talented actors, especially Barry Corbin, who plays the sheriff of the town Jamie gets stuck in. Unusual premise upset by too much stupid moments or plot twist. But the film is entertaining enough to made this a pleasant viewing.

Overall rating: 7 out of 10.