Les amazones du temple d'or

I am now the proud owner of 26 Jess Franco movies, and after buying this one (as part of the Shriek Show "Jungle Girls" set), I think it may be time to admit I have a problem and seek out the proper 12-step group.

A young girls is orphaned after her missionary parents are murdered by the titular (or should that be tit-ular?) Amazons. She decides to seek revenge (but not of course until she has matured into a sexy teenage Analia Ivers with large, succulent,and perpetually exposed breasts). With her pet monkey, a cartoonish African witch doctor, and some greedy explorers she sets off to find the Golden Temple of the Amazons. Although this is supposedly set in Africa and everyone else is black, the Amazons are all Nordic blonde girls for some reason. And in what is not exactly a blow for feminism, the legendary tribe of females has a male leader--a fat, middle-aged white guy who does little more than stage half-naked catfights and then rape the winner.

Franco fans are, of course, used to this kind of inanity--but even they are not used to this level of incompetent film-making. Frankly, this looks someone's home movies shot at the zoo after Dad has had a few too many beers (albeit with Mom and Big Sis taking their tops off a lot). It's also surprisingly tame--producer Daniel Lesseur even claims that it was supposed to be a family film! While I would never expose MY children to this kind of rampant nudity, bad taste, and incompetent film-making, he's right in that this certainly doesn't make it as an adult movie in any sense of the word. There is a hilarious scene where the older female explorer (let's call her "Mom")goes skinny-dipping and discovers a cave which she proceeds to explores without, you know, actually putting her clothes back on. Mostly though it's more smutty than erotic, such as the scene where the male explorer, played by a gray-bearded Anthony Mayans, is straddling the barely dressed, barely legal heroine as they ride an elephant and lasciviously tells her that he really isn't interested in being her father. Yep, fun for the whole family alright.

Remember the first step is to admit that we are powerless over Franco and that his films have become unwatchable.

A missionary named Simpson (Jean-Rene Gossart) becomes hungry for gold, and he and his wife pay the price when targeted by tough-as-nails, topless Amazonian babes. Their daughter is raised in the jungle, away from civilization, and grows up to be a "Sheena" type named Liana (Analia Ivars), albeit one with an impressive perm. As an adult, Liana decides that the time is ripe for revenge, and accompanied by characters like an archaeologist, his hot-to-trot wife, a witch doctor, and a jungle guide, she treks into the land of the "blue mountain" where a golden temple does indeed await.

Officially directed by Alain Payet, with uncredited work by "presenter" Jess Franco (who also wrote the screenplay), this is no great example of the jungle adventure genre popularized by the Italians. There's not much gore, no cannibalism, and other than the nudity, there's nothing that would be highly objectionable to a mainstream audience. Overall, the movie delivers *some* entertainment, at least for the viewer who can't get enough of this sort of thing. All the acting, dubbing, and set design tend towards the utterly cheesy; much of the dialogue is rather unintelligible, although that's probably no real loss. The electronic music score by Norbert Verrone is overbearing.

Despite the title, this clearly takes place in Africa, and there are admittedly some very cute scenes near the beginning of Liana interacting with the wildlife - chatting with a giraffe, hitching a ride on an elephant, etc. (The animal sequences are actually pretty good.) And there is also a fairly well trained chimp who the human characters call "Rocky". Of the main cast members, Eva Leon appears to be having the most fun, playing the evil, sadistic, eyepatch-wearing Rena. Co-starring are familiar faces such as William Berger, Antonio Mayans, and Olivier Mathot. Francos' wife Lina Romay has an uncredited bit as a temple guard.

If you're looking for an 85-minute cheese fest that won't get too unpleasant and won't tax your brain, "Golden Temple Amazons" kills time in a passable way.

Five out of 10.

Wow, this movies unbelievable. First of all the plot is insane. This girls family is killed by an Amazon tribe and when she grows up seeks revenge on the tribe. Thats were sanity ends. Now its time for the insane. The female Amazon warriors are played by Scandinavian white women, whose chief is a fat old man, who don't live in the Amazon, their in Africa. Confused much, I was but I just decided to go with it.

The heroine of the story, Liana, meets many people on her travels. An African witch doctor who seemed to be Italian. The only true Africans were only seen in passing.

The "Golden Temple" looked so cheap, the walls looked as if they taped gold tin-foil to them. The chiefs chambers were obviously filmed in some ones house. Even though the temple is made out of stone and rock the chamber floors look like marble and the ceiling has a lavish design on them.

The greatest part of the movie were all the BOOBIES!! Oh glorious boobies. Every scene seemed to be filled with nothing but boobies, you couldn't hide from them. 82 minutes of BOOBIES!! So to wrap things up, everyone makes the statement "so bad it was good" and this movie definitely fits the mold. If your poison is weird "C" level movies that don't make a bit of sense, then this movies for you.

Oh, did I mention all the glorious Boobies!!

Wow, I swear this has never happened to me before…. I only watched "Golden Temple Amazons" yesterday and already I haven't got the slightest recollection of anything that happened in this film. That's how brilliant this movie is, I guess! By now I only remember being lured into watching it because of the incredibly attractive DVD cover art, showing a torrid drawing of a voluptuous Amazon preparing her bow to fire at an unspecified target. I often get fooled by appealing DVD covers – especially Jess Franco ones – and I still haven't learned to resist even after literally hundreds of awful experiences. Oh well… After reading the other user-comments, some parts of my memory returned although I still suspect to confuse this film with another Jess Franco masterpiece I watched the day before, namely "Diamonds of the Kilimanjaro" (and, yes, that one had an awesome DVD cover as well).

"Golden Temple Amazons" opens with a posse of hot white African Amazons – I am aware of the contradiction but don't blame me – slaughtering the parents of a fragile young girl because they were trespassing the turf with the intention of stealing the golden treasures from the temple. Several years and hormonal changes later, the girl returns to the jungle to get her revenge. She's accompanied by a bunch of sleazy adventurers who are less interested in the act of vengeance but wouldn't mind taking some gold back home. The rudimentary premise is obviously secondary to all the showcasing of ravishing female nudity and gratuitous sleaze. Analía Ivars, Eva Léon and the other nameless Amazons are all regular Franco choices and willingly walk around with their breasts proudly exposed. You better enjoy gazing at all these perfect female curves, as the rest of "Golden Temple Amazons" is a boring and incompetent mess. There's hardly any violence or action and no less than half of the film is pure filler, bits and pieces of National Geographic documentaries edited into the story and that sort of stuff. The awesome DVD cover would definitely be a great addition to your collection, but opening the box is utter pointless.

I really dont know where to begin, or end.... Bad bad acting, bad costumes BAD WIGS, bad sets (the golden walls in the mine is so obviously painted tin foil), ...Out of the 11 or so "amazon" women, not one of them looks like she ever worked out a DAY in her life.. Flab, banana boobs, cottage cheese arses, ...If it cost more than ten bucks and a pizza party to make this movie, i'd be shocked...........its really really bad.. Filmmakers, watch this movie please so you know what directioin NOT to go on ...