Slow Burn

=== NO SPOILERS ==> Don't ya love movies that blatantly warn you how bad they are by their title? Here's a prime example. Oh... My... GAWD! It goes on, and on, and on, AND NOTHING HAPPENS! You feel like you're the one lost out in the desert. I only watched this for Spader and Driver. Spader is almost unrecognizable which is the only interesting thing about this movie. Unbelievably, this thing cost (according to IMDB) $10 million to make? So the backers got feel the burn as well.

Minnie Driver plays a woman looking for diamonds lost by her ancestors out in the desert, when she stumbles upon two criminals (Spader and Brolin) who have miraculously stumbled upon the diamonds on accident, and who quickly take her captive. Driver has to figure out how to get the diamonds to herself and try to ditch her captors, while a mysterious old friend, Stuart Wilson, watches the events unfold from a distance and narrates Driver's past.

Minnie Driver makes an adequate lead, but it's James Spader who makes this movie. He plays a real goon; a rat-like voice and the only one with a gun. He gets increasingly desperate to escape his purgatory in the middle of nowhere and make the diamonds his. His mentally slow but good-hearted partner in crime, Brolin, and the antics of Driver lead his character. A great performance that kept me hooked, despite reading the other reviews.

Great cinematography to this movie. It's all shot in the desert, and the dry heat is beautifully captured. Ditto for the costumes. Spader and Brolin's bumbling conmen aren't used to the weather, and their faces are chapped and blistered in startlingly realistic fashion.

The movie's biggest problem is Stuart Wilson's bizarre, almost random narration. His character isn't very well set up in the beginning and you spend most of the movie trying to figure out his relevance to the story. It's purpose is a way to wrap up the loose ends, but I would have liked the film more if it had just abandoned the explanation of the past and made instead a character study of this trio.

Overall, I recommend it.

As a Minnie Driver fan, I couldn't believe the tawdry disaster unfolded in the telling of "Slow Burn." Produced in part by Two Drivers (Minnie and her sister, Kate), it gives the impression of two intelligent women based on self-destruction. For three generations, Minnie's forebears have been consumed with the search for her grandmother's remains, and with it, the diamonds with which she disappeared into the desert so many years ago. It has consumed all of Trina's (Driver's) life, from infancy into young womanhood. Now, only Trina and her older mentor (and Mom's former lover) are left. Trina has promised that this will be her final year of searching. After this season, she'll throw in the towel. Two bumbling escaped convicts, one a bit dim (but basically of good heart) - the other given to apparant glimpses of insight between fits of pique, literally stagger upon what three generations of desert veterans have been unable to find. One of the cons is played by James Spader, and I swear I didn't recognize him. (As Martha Stuart might say [as far as a career move is concerned], "This is a good thing." His agent would agree. In short, there are disabled trucks with runaway tendencies. Said trucks seem to appear meaningfully late in the movie, almost cluttering the set ... despite their mechanical devastations. With trucks like these, "OK! I'll take the kids!" There's a sterility in interpersonal relationships that makes evem Driver's character appear to be a cardboard cut out. Is this love in bloom, or heatstroke. There's even a touch of 'Marathon Man" here, for those with expensive "tastes." The premise should have been developed into a taut thriller. However, neither the viewer seeking justice nor the sophisticate in search of irony comes away satisfied. There's a lovely and colorful little bird to win your heart; but this is not the bird director Chrisyian Ford delivers to paying audiences. "Is it safe?" to see "Slow Burn?" Only if it's free and you're desperate for seeing Minnie Driver on the big screen.

I will not spend time dissecting each action and try to compare this to a combination of "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" (1948), and "Legend of the Lost" (1957).

Trina (Minnie Driver) is treasure hunting at any cost. The treasure is a hoard of diamonds that used to belong to her grandmother. We see why through a series of flashbacks. Diamonds exchange hands a few times.

This film stands on its own as a slow-paced (which gives sagacity) interaction of cunning minds in a desolate area vying for a prize more important than the other person. You have seen it before, and you will see it again; so, sit back and enjoy this variation.

The plot is not what brings your focus to bear with this film - it is the absolutely horrible acting performances of the players. James Spader's agent should spend significant resources to pass the rumour that he didn't have a part in this film (he's practically unrecognizable anyway); Minnie Driver's contribution is in the body part only league; and Josh Brolin should not give up his day job. In particular, the language accents taken on by Driver & Brolin are forced, stereotypical, and false. In fact, for me, the disastrous lack of some kind of sanity in the plotline coupled with loser performances of Driver and Brolin made the desert scenes the most interesting part of the film. Spader is a fine actor who just doesn't need this kind of drivel on his record. Scale of 0-10: a 2 for Spader and the desert scenes.