Repligator

I am watching this as I write. I am a great fan of B-grade sci-fi movies. If you are not like me, avoid this like the plague.

The acting is not quite as bad as your average porno, and the nudity is gratuitous.

The question of having a load of military men transformed into nymphomaniac women that lust after their formerly co-gendered colleagues caused a bit of mental squeamishness.

And then there's that "From Dusk To Dawn"-esque plot twist at the halfway point: "She experienced a prehistoric orgasm that stretched her genetic code. Now we have Gator-Babe".

Pure genius.

I have challenged my masochistic urge to sit through the worst of moviedom's offerings. What does not kill you makes you stronger, right? Wrong. I'm now convinced it makes you stupider for having gone through it in the first place. I love movies. I love b-movies. I even love bad movies and making my friends sit very uncomfortably through them. But after watching 'Repligator' I've come to the unpleasant conclusion that apparently I don't love myself at all. 'Repligator' is beyond terrible and there is no thesaurus big enough to list the many ways in which 'Repligator' is awful, terrible, bad ...

Filmed with extreme cheapness (was this project a tax write-off? was it some kind of scam to con government film-funding and other private investors?) and a level of professionalism well-suited to semi-evolved chimpanzees, 'Repligator' fails in every possible category of film. Name one and it fails. The music is distractingly awful and completely out of place. The writing is awful. The acting is beyond cheesy. Or maybe it is just so ... minimalist in its approach that IT DOESN'T EXIST. Direction, editing, camera work, special effects -- nothing works in this film and the whole thing seems like an exercise in how to make stupid people (me for watching) pay for their stupidity (me for watching) with the most pain (me by watching). Even if you're a fan of gratuitous nudity (and there is plenty) it isn't worth it.

There are no redeeming qualities, save for one: 'Repligator' is clear proof that no matter how low-budget, no matter how bad your film can be, there IS a sucker born every minute. Many of those suckers have money. Find them, milk them for everything you can, and you too can make a movie.

All in all not bad. It has a few clasdic things in it. The best being an Oldsmobile Delta 88. I would think most schlock fabs get the send up or trope. 449 more to go...good editing and continuity. The cast again like some other shlock fest movies gave a good performance and not a walk through. I do not need to list any of those movies...you know it when you see it. So I think its worth a trundle through...you can always fast forward... It is a good movie for a movie making class to watch. It was done well and not over the top. Sometimes movies go in for the shock or sleeze but thus one gets it about as...end if 600 charactres.

Though it's always nice to see the likes of Gunnar Hansen and Brinke Stevens in movies, this godawfully unfunny sci-fi / sex "comedy" is nowhere near being endurable!

Granted, the idea of male-to-female-to-reptile transformation is intriguing. Alas, this movie makes it into a misery!

No, it's not the dollar store "special" effects, robotic "acting", or disastrous attempts at "humor" that make REPLIGATOR so reprehensible. All of these elements, handled correctly, could have resulted in a schlock masterwork.

Nope, it's the pluck-my-brain-out-with-ice tongs boredom factor that sinks this project! Not even the abundant nudity will keep the viewer's drooping eyelids from slamming shut!

Back away slowly...

The Detailed Plot:

Army experimentation with transporter devices accidentally turns people into alligators.

Some of the ugliest floppy you know what est girls are nude in this movie.

Shots of government buildings are painted.

The special effects don't exist and nary an alligator shows up for two thirds of the movie.

Yes, it's as bad as all that.

Leatherface does a cameo to make some dough.

The acting is horrible and there really is no plot.