Stargames

Well, right about that time them Clark boys daddy said, "Time to be actors". Pappy Clark had just bought one of them Video Toasters and a Pentium with 8 Meg of Ram. So, it goes downhill from there.

Graydon plays the father to one of his sons. Earthboy, seen at the very end of Uninvited clutching a cat that looked nothing like the mutant cat. Bennett plays the father to his other son that honestly looks more handsome than the kid from Home Improvement, Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Spaceboy.

Earthboy gets lost on a family vacation. Earthboy meets Spaceboy who is running from a evil space dictator, who looks like a colander had sex with a pile of isht. And Happy.... WTF. That is the only reason to watch this movie and watch a horrible actor, do Robin Williams impressions horribly, dressed in full clown makeup.

Watch if you like movie masochism/narcissism.

At the lime this film was made, Tony. Curtis was at the tail end of his career, mostly TV guest appearances and bit parts in forgettable films. Its hard to take the actor who gave such Film performances as Spartacus, The Defiant Ones, Some Like It Hot, and Operation Petticoat (yes, only a fair movie but he was terrific in his role) in this drivel. I'm no performer, but really, can the allure of the stage or screen really be so powerful as to be involved in this embarrassment? Was he in deep to a bookie or the IRS?

Recommendation: watch the RiffTrax version, only.

There must be something good to say about a family-effort film project....in this case, it apparently involves the Clark clan and some marginally-talented homies....so, we can only hope it was meant for audiences under the age of seven. Anyone older will immediately pick up on the amazingly cheesy effects, performances---sadly including Tony Curtis', who must have owed somebody a big favor---and atrociously bad scripting and dialogue. (Count how many times the parents yell, "BRIAN!", even when he's right in front of them.) However, all this makes for a fabulous riff session, and you won't even need RiffTrax. You'll have plenty of your own material, especially when "Happy" shows up---it's this flick's only Clowning achievement.

. . . but certainly in the top two. As a movie aficionado and frustrated film maker, I long for the talent that would allow me to shoot just one minute of film good enough to be considered art. I'm sure Graydon Clark has a similar aspiration for himself. Just as I do not rate movies with a 10 (there is no such thing as a perfect film) I also am loath to rate a movie with a 1, which is also a measure of perfection but at the wrong end of the spectrum. Stargames brushes awfulness perfection but doesn't quite make it. It is chock full of truly atrocious moments, from inexplicable actions to the creepiest clown I have seen anywhere. Ever. While this movie is one of the worst ever, it yielded a RiffTrax gem. It is truly a RiffTrax masterpiece and that alone justifies the existence of this turkey.

There is nothing that can save this film from contender for worst movie. The acting is cringeworthy, the costumes and 'special' effects are laughable. It's hard to think what was going on in the minds of its creators, maybe they were playing a joke on us.

It makes b-Movies like like Hollywood blockbusters. I'm not entirely sure that forced watching could be used as punishment.