The Coroner

I must say that I am a little biased on this review as I heard about the production of this film from Dean St.Louis (Dr.Leon Urasky)three years ago and have wanted to see it ever since. Dean and I went to High School together and when I came back from Japan he related the story of the film but he said he lost his only copy and that it was 'in the can' never to be seen due to production issues at the studio (whole different story). So my other High School buddy Mike a mutual friend calls me last night and says I have to come to his house to watch his new DVD and that Dean was coming as well so we settled down in the basking glow of Mike's 52" TV and the movie The Coroner started and Dean almost vomited and I broke a rib laughing, finally I got to see the movie. The very first scene in the strip club was not Dean and I say he missed the best part of the shoot. This film is terrible but it was fun to hear Dean's commentary too bad it's not on the DVD so cut him some slack he got no direction what so ever and he's a theater actor and this was his first movie, how many of you have their name on a DVD as a lead actor? He doesn't get any royalties from this thing, too bad for him. So just rent it and if your local video store doesn't have it tell them to get it, it's just fun to watch.

In this 90's slasher film a demented coroner is responsible for a series of murders of young women. All the victims are suicide attempt survivors because the coroner wants to 'recreate their moment of denial'. Or something.

Opening with scenes in a strip club with a great deal of gratuitous boob action, it has to be said, the film starts out at least entertainingly. But it isn't long before its story kicks in and things go downhill. The serial killer angle is half-hearted at best and there isn't really even much in the way of horror violence to perk things up either. What we are left with is a very cheap looking production with a tinny 90's soundtrack. Pretty clearly a bargain basement example of a serial killer movie with little in it to recommend. Perhaps its main factor of note nowadays is that its director went under the infamous alias 'Alan Smithee' which was used by film directors to hide their identities when the film they were involved with turned out embarassingly bad - this method of subterfuge went out the window with the advent of the internet age, given that there was no longer any hiding place. As a consequence, The Coroner was one of the last films Mr Smithee ever made.

...this is it! This is the worst film I've ever seen. So I HAVE to show it to everyone else which means I've sat through this terribly awful and mind-numbingly stupid goreless 90's piece of waste sleaze flick! Forget "Plan 9", - this is it! Everything is awful - the acting, the dialouge, the plot (what plot?), you name it! But in a weird way it's almost like a surreal comedy (why would a demented and woman-hating coroner who looks like a balding car salesman wear silly aprons?) This is just one of the (stupid, stupid) questions left in your mind after THE CORONER clocks in at about 70 minutes. But hey, you only live once and it's a short one - so go on - see for your selves!

A bad movie. The coroner thinks he's "World's Greatest Chef", then a god then he thinks he's "SuperDad". This guy has some funny aprons. Besides the aprons that are being worn by a naked overweight gentleman who is not the least bit attractive, this movie is not very amusing. The lawyer woman looks more like a kindergarten teacher or maybe a babysitter and she has a really awful sex scene where she flings her hair around and arches her back and it makes her looks really stupid. Who acts like that when they have sex? I just don't understand the whole head-flinging thing. anyway, the coroner goes after women who have tried to slit their wrists in the past. He thinks they were "Teasing" him by acting like they were gonna die when they actually survived. So he kills them so he doesn't have to go through the agony of waiting for them to die naturally. It's an ok idea, but it's not played out very well. I really hate lawyer movies.

If you enjoy:

Aprons Blowdart Stapler torture A severed finger (or is it just momentarily gone?) No plot whatsoever (with crappy sex scenes included) A very "funny" un-villain looking villain

Then perhaps this sleazy gore-less "film" is something you'd like. I didn't. And I never will.

1 out of 10!