- [on Harry dressing like a mortician]
- Dwayne Hoover: Modern science has given us a vast array of colors with exciting names like Red! Blue! Orange! Brown! and PINK!
- Harry Le Sabre: Why don't you come right out and say it, Dwayne?
- Dwayne Hoover: Say what, Harry?
- Harry Le Sabre: That I like to wear women's clothing.
- Dwayne Hoover: Is that what you LIKE, Harry?
- Harry Le Sabre: Yes... I mean, NO! NO! OF COURSE NOT!
- Kilgore Trout: You're not supposed to know the answer, for cryin' out loud.
- Dwayne Hoover: Why not?
- Kilgore Trout: If you knew the answer, there'd be no more questions.
- Kilgore Trout: The Abominable Snowman has arrived. Kidnapped from the slopes of Mount Everest. Taken as slave to a bordello in Rio de Janeiro. I've come to the arts festival in Midland City to have myself acknowledged before I die as a great artist I believe myself to be.
- George 'Bunny' Hoover: [scenes later after being punched by his dad and thrown into his own piano] I think my daddy loves me.
- Kilgore Trout: More flowers than at a gangster's funeral. Midland City seems to be gettin' behind the arts in a great big way.