Strawberry Estates

Let start out first by saying, I LOVED The Blair Witch Project. As a matter of fact I loved The St. Francisville Experiment (for all the wrong reasons mind you, see my review for that one). When I got this one into my creepy lil paws I was excited to say the least! Especially since A- this movie(!) was filmed 2 years before Blair Witch & B- because the acting(!) was rumored to be quite good. I'm a sucker for these schlock-docs to begin with so it was now cinematic party time!

*Fast forward 1 hour & 40 minutes later*

*makes sign of the cross* Please sweet baby Jesus, damn the creators of this friggin' mess. I've seen better acting in high school plays! Hell, I've read better dialog written for high school plays. I've never been so bored. There is NOTHING good about this. Nothing. Did I mention nothing? Wow.

I now present to you my new uses for my Strawberry Estates tape:

5- Doorstop 4- Paper wieght 3- Furniture leg prop (ie: table, couch, etc) 2- A good reason to watch something else. 1- Something other than change or food to offer the homeless should they happen to ask.

Saying this movie is "Not Good" is an insult to movies that are not good. WOW!!! This flick is SOOOO BAD that I kept watching (for FREE thank God) to see if it could get any WORSE as it went along. Well...it did NOT disappoint! As I kept PAINFULLY watching this trainwreck of a "movie" it actually DID get worse...and worse...and WORSE. The dude who played "The Professor" was so HORRIBLE with his "acting" that it almost turned into a COMEDY! I have seen my fair share of BAD "Found Footage" movies,but this heap of garbage has to rank pretty HIGH UP on my list of one of the WORST ONES I HAVE EVER SEEN!!! Seriously people...it is a complete waste of time to sit through this one. If I have even prevented ONE PERSON from enduring the PAIN of watching this one...then my job here is complete.

Toodles.

Worst thing about this movie is the awful "acting". Some, like the student, are ok. Others, like the professor and psychic are just bad. Like reading from a script at that very moment bad. The actress playing the student is very likable and adorable so it makes up for her not so great acting. The video quality is bad but it's supposed to be so that's ok. Scratch my first sentence: the worst thing about this movie is the talk talk talk talk. Talking about nonsense that has nothing to do with the plot. Why have a 10 minute argument about God? Just get on with the ghostly stuff.

The objective breakdown:

Cinematography: Non-existent. It is unknown what this movie was shot with but what was edited was not worth the effort. The individual shooting the film did not know how to focus the equipment. You can essentially attain a headache by attempting to view. Color is horrid, shots not blocked. I would liken to compare to a first effort by a person that knows nothing of the film process and received a cameras for their birthday.

Sound: Horrendous: They either used one microphone and just planted it in one location or multiple mics and not configured correctly. The amplitude of a voice will go from too loud to so soft you can barely hear and back again. Try and understand the reception from the walkie talkies.

Music: There is none. You would think the creator would have known someone that could have created a little mood music and loop it incessantly like so many other bad movies.

Acting: Stupefying: it is painfully obvious that no one is an actor. One would think at least one person would at least be passable. This is what one gets when one has no money and friends that you believe can act or you spent money and have no clue what talent is.

Script: Your brain will disengage within a matter of minutes. The writer loses focus and just rambles from one thing to another. We are subjected to idiotic conversations that are supposed to be thought provoking but are the lamest and non logical arguments one hears constantly. I do love the comment about psychics solving crimes, you can read about it in the National Inquirer! Now that line made me laugh!

Funny that they mention "Purgatory" because this is what I classify this movie as. It is a "Purgatory" or "Limbo". It has absolutely no redeeming quality to it what so ever. It is not passable and it does not provide any amusement in being so incompetently made. Do NOT waste time from your life viewing this piece of flotsam.

I'm almost at a loss, so I'll try to keep this brief. No aspect of this movie was done well. Until the last half dozen minutes, the only thing that "happened" in the movie was scene after scene of exposition. Seriously, it was like someone decided to roll film while various people took turns reading an audio-book. The acting was horrible across the board to the point that as we saw the pedictable turn a main character eventually took, all I could do was sort of laugh in a non-entertained way.. Cliff's Notes version: One long, multi-character exposition-fest followed by about seven minutes of conclusion. Life is too short.