Comando Alien

After Nasa stock footage, recycled Roger Corman space FX (BATTLE BENEATH THE STARS...again!) and an incomprehensible collage from various Corman productions, then the "story" begins. Eight people who awaken aboard a spaceship are being used in "procreation" experiments to eventually host an alien species. People start to die and no one knows what the hell is going on (or how they got there) but still make time to have sex while secret video cameras tape them. A blue energy beam zaps people, an "android" in the wall squishes a guy's head until blood pours out of his ears and an alien finger is thrust into his eyeball in close-up.

The new gore FX are pretty good and the cast looks good, too, in the sex scenes (which seem to have been trimmed from the cable version, called GALACTIC ODYSSEY), but this is still a cheap, pointless waste of time carelessly slapped together by the same guy who directed the equally terrible DEAD SPACE (1990). Maria Ford and Shauna O'Brien are seen in old footage from other movies thrown into the mix in the form of flashback. So is Trimble, in lengthy scenes from one of his old kickboxer movies. Corman was the executive producer and this was part on the ROGER CORMAN PRESENTS... Showtime series.

Score: 2 out of 10 (for the redeeming T&A only)

Wow, this movie was bad. Now the acting was decent enough, but its clear the actors had little to work with, they tried to save this stink-bomb but there really was no hope. The story was flimsier than rice paper and the special effects shots were mostly stolen, many from BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS. The ship was apparently made of card board and the technology was primitive enough that humans who had never seen the systems could take control and hack the computer. Pathetic. I've seen fan-made films that were far superior in writing and effects. The only reason I gave this move a 3 is that it makes a good MST3K flick, get some friends, get some booze and enjoy heckling it between the few T&A scenes.

Err, what messy rubbish. A dull one too. The storyline starts off interesting (well it read more interesting on the back cover on the video case) to only succumb to a plodding, unimaginative peepshow in outer-space of gratuitous soft-core acts and icky effects. What starts off is a collection of stock footage integrated together, and we learn that a group of six have been chosen by an alien race to use in a breeding experiment as the earth has been destroyed in a nuclear blast. But someone or something on the ship is killing them, but still they find enough time to "procreate" before facing the problems at hand, and figuring out just what is happening. The way the characters are introduced to us is obviously taken from other films, and is quite laughable. Well that's some nice promotional work. Even the social commentary card is over-used and too blatant it just made me cringe. Watch out for the animal rights activist sequence! The script is torpidly tepid and convolutely penned with a weak bunch of characterisations and muddled motivations. This is where I would say that the clunky story just got in the way of simple fun in its attempt to be clever. This Roger Corman production goes on to present the usual staples found in these quick, cash-in, bare bones b-features. Director Fred Gallo's clumsy execution is just slipshod and repetitive. As for the jaunty editing, it's complete shambles. As many sequences are all over the place, and look ridiculous. Few visuals work, and the racy T&A (and while you're at it. Smile as Englund has you on candid camera) added some much needed spice. Phoney sets, and shoddily crude effects don't damaged it, but far from make it any more enjoyable. Looking at the cast; Robert Englund floats on by with little interest and Adam Baldwin pretty much does the same thing. There is some stunning buxom in Kate Rodger, Gretchen Palmer and Jeannie Millar. Jerry Trimble pretty much over-kills it, but at least there was someone who wanted to enliven the show. His one-on-one combat with an android provided some kinetic zip, but his action-character felt rather odd in the mix.

Cheap, uninteresting Sci-fi / Horror.

I saw "Starquest II" under the title "Galactic Odyssey." It stinks under any title. Having nothing to do with the original, this Roger Corman release is another in a long line of films that steals scenes from "Battle Beyond the Stars," some other movie I couldn't identify, and makes very little sense. Here's a rundown of what I understood:

Various individuals from Earth awake on a spaceship, having few memories of their lives. Wandering around the ship, they come across three people who claim to not know what is going on. In reality, these beings are aliens from a dying race. They have surgically implanted something into some of the humans. Their plan is for the humans to fornicate (yup, it must be a Roger Corman movie) so that their race will continue. But, as expected, there is a mutiny among the aliens, and people being to die off. Blah, blah, blah...

It is hard to figure out what in the world Robert Englund is doing in this movie. He can do so much better. There is nothing in this movie worthy of praise. Start your own "star quest" and look for a movie that actually shines just a little bit. Zanatos's score: 1 out of 10.

I gave this a 2 instead of a 1 only because I got to see a lot of Adam Baldwin, and I do mean, a LOT. One has to wonder how on earth (no pun intended) they got ahold of him for this 'film', as well as Robert Englund.

It was quite awhile before I realized the same actor who played Major Mitchell in 'ID4' is the same actor who played Jayne in 'Serenity'. I was so intrigued by my inability to see that they were the same actor (I'm usually very good at recognizing people), that I figured this Adam Baldwin must be one fine actor. When I saw he was also in this even-bad-for-a-Roger-Corman flick , I just had to watch, no matter how bad it was. And, it was. Bad, really bad.

But, I endured, being the 'Firefly'/'Serenity' fan that I am. If I ever get to meet Adam Baldwin in-person, I will just have to ask him, "WHY?"