Neon Maniacs

Oddball 80s horror film about San Francisco teens getting slaughtered by a Village People-like group zombies. There's a biker zombie, an archer zombie, a samurai zombie, a soldier zombie, and a few others. The film is poorly made to say the least, but it does have plenty of nicely gory old school practical special effects, which I do love. Another fun part of the film is when the teens go to a concert at one point, so you get some nice cheesy 80s music and dancing, all dripping in 80s neon, so it has that going for it too. "Neon Maniacs" isn't an 80s horror film anyone should seek out, but if you've already seen them everything halfway decent and are trying to find something you haven't seen before, it's worth a look.

Do you ever hanker after a piece of disposable 80's horror? I know I do and Neon Maniacs was perfect for that. The story is that a girl sees all her friends brutally murdered by the neon maniacs and the maniacs start appearing trying to kill her. She doesn't let it interfere with getting a tan or going to the battle of the bands though.

It's hard to know what the maniacs themselves are supposed to be but possibly think Hellraiser's Cenobites but without the effects and instead with a bit of carpet stuck to their heads.

There's an 80's battle of the bands (both bands are naturally abysmal), an attractive female lead and some mild monster mayhem. What more could you ask for from an 80's horror flick? An actual ending would be nice I suppose but you can't have it all.

Definitely worth a watch though if you're in the right mood.

See, there are these twelve Neon Maniacs who live under the Golden Gate bridge and come out at night to kill people. No reason really, they just do. Natalie (Leilani Sarelle) sees all of her partying friends offed by this gnarly group but no one will believe her because the only thing left at the scene of the crime is some neon goo. Insert Steven (Alan Hayes), a fellow high school student who has the hots for Natalie, and Paula (Donna Locke), a young horror obsessed tomboy, to form a trio of folks who the cops won't listen to.

This NEON MANIACS madness is really something and plays with the same logic of the home movies I made when I was a 12-year-old. Sad when you realize director Joseph Mangine was in his 50s when he made this. We never get any history on the titular creatures or learn why they are so intent on tracking our leads. But we do know they melt when water gets on them (you listening M. Night?). I guess you could get away with stuff like this in the 80s if you throw some slime around, which this film does plenty of. Probably the only film in the history of cinema to have the heroes discussing ways to off the monsters and one says, "Hey, isn't the battle of the bands tonight? We can do it there!" Insert two dueling bands (new wave vs. heavy metal) duking it out while the Maniacs converge on the school. The film ends with the hope of a NEON MANIACS II and I'm still, like, totally waiting.

A group of slow-moving, inter-dimensional maniacs, each with their own unique look and method of killing, emerge from under The Golden Gate Bridge at night to prey on the people of San Francisco. Having witnessed the creatures at work, high school students Natalie (Leilani Sarelle) and Steven (Clyde Hayes), aided by teenage monster movie fan Paula (Donna Locke), find themselves targeted by the maniacs and are forced to fight back with water as their only means of defence (despite the colourful killers living next to a river, plain old H20 proves to be deadly to them!).

When Neon Maniacs was first released on VHS, I thought it was junk, writer Mark Patrick Carducci failing to do his rather intriguing basic premise justice, director Joseph Mangine compounding matters with his uninspired direction, and the cast giving dreadful performances all round. Having recently given the film the benefit of a re-watch, I still think it's junk, but at least it now has the advantage of being nostalgic junk, the horrible clothes, nasty hairstyles, crappy effects, and awful pop/rock music (particularly during a terrible battle-of-the-bands scene) providing a reasonably fun time despite the overall technical shoddiness. Steve's hideous jacket; Natalie's big hair; Paula wearing her Nostromo baseball cap at a silly angle; the nasty neon tubing backdrop to Steve's band: it's delightfully dated elements like these that just about made this one worth watching.

5.5 out of 10, generously rounded up to 6 for the trip down memory lane (the 80s were worse than I remembered), a couple of gloopy melting maniacs, and Leilani Sarelle in her swimming cossie.

As bad films go, this one's pretty enjoyable.

Anchor Bay, not long ago, released a wonderful widescreen DVD of NEON MANIACS. But you can also enjoy this on tape, because VHS copies are still floating around at used video stores. And perhaps an old VHS tape might be better for generating that 80's feeling...

This is the infamous low-budget horror flick from 1985 that boasts a gaggle of weird, oozing monsters--each with a different look and method of killing--who come out at night, ready for action. The movie takes place in San Francisco--and the monsters actually make their home under the Golden Gate Bridge (!). Sure, why not? It could happen.

The title monsters are NEVER referred to as "Neon Maniacs" by any of the characters. A narrator has a brief speech early on in the film and says something like "The children's path shall be darkened...by the SHADOWS of the...NEON MANIACS." (Yeah. Whatever.) But that's the only time you hear the term, and as a justification for the title, it's flimsy at best. AND, as noted by many, the monsters are NEVER explained in any way. At all!

Near the end of the film there is a climactic scene at a high school costume dance featuring an astounding "Battle of the 80's Bands" (one a Rick Springfield knockoff, the other a lame heavy metal group) that will have you squirming and your face contorting into various peculiar grimaces and scowls. Yow!

This is a time capsule film. You watch it to see what things looked like, what was going on twenty-odd (very odd) years ago. But please take care: What you see, you may find upsetting.

80's horror had its own very unique and pointless stamp, and this is one of the best examples of an endearingly BAD 80's horror film--just as THE BREAKFAST CLUB is one of the best examples of an endearingly good 80's teen film. That is to say, NEON MANIACS, despite how awful it is, is memorable. It gives you a strange warm happy feeling inside when you watch it. And when it's over, you think about it--chortle to yourself over it. You might even recommend it to your friends. And you know perfectly well that it's not a good movie at all! That it's one of the worst movies you've ever seen!! See it tonight! Yes, it's crap. Yes, it's fun.