Altas Confusões

Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfolds (1995)

** (out of 4)

Decent take-off on ATTACK OF THE 50FT WOMAN from cult director Fred Olen Ray. This time out centerfold Angel Grace (J.J. North) decides to take a special potion hoping that it will give her the edge over two other woman as they are trying to win Playmate of the Year. The potion certainly gives her a boost as it turns her into the title character. With a title like this and knowing that it's coming from Fred Olen Ray, one really shouldn't be expecting any sort of classic but if you're just wanting some cheap laughs and plenty of breasts then this here is just for you. I was really surprised to see that the movie's actually a lot better than one might expect. I thought there were some fun performances, the director keeps things moving fairly well and even the special effects are good. Again, we're not talking "classic" level here but for a "B" movie this isn't too bad. I thought North was extremely cute in the lead role and of course her willingness to get nude was a major plus. The supporting cast includes Russ Tamblyn, Tommy Kirk, Michelle Bauer as well as a cameo from Forrest J. Ackerman and SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE II favorite Peter Spellos. There's obviously not much of a "story" to talk about but instead of story there's just pretty much non-stop nudity with the three centerfolds constantly getting naked, which is the main reason for this movie to exist. It's worth noting that with a film like this you're wanting "giant" nudity and it is here. I was surprised at how well done the special effects were. They're not Oscar-worthy but they're certainly much better than what we see in ATTACK FOK THE 50FT WOMAN. At just 84-minutes the film goes by at a pretty good pace so fans of this type of stuff should at least be mildly entertained.

The rest, where the majority of the film happens feels unnecessary for the suprisingly romantic plot.

A good use of the Attack of the 50 feet Woman concept. I loved the acting of the blond, and the final fight with the red. Fast-forwarded the rest.

This movie was one of the first that I ever bought on DVD; for some reason I've held on to it, mostly due to its historical value as one of the most disappointing films I have ever watched. The title led me to believe that I would be watching beautiful, naked big-titted women growing to impossible sizes and ruining everyone's s*** for 90 solid minutes. Instead, I get 2 minutes of rampage, and 88 minutes of 60 a 60 foot tall woman moping around in a circus tent, and a bunch of evil guys trying to exploit her. Who do these guys think they are? I want chicks, not smarmy guys. In addition, there's this annoying sub-plot involving a giant rat. Who's idea was that? They could have at least made it a giant cat in order to incorporate some pussy jokes. There are a couple of good boob gags in this one, but on the whole, it is a massively wasted opportunity to exploit women who have been the victims of science. Where's Daryl Hannah when you need her?

Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold isn't an action or adventure movie and it can barely be called sci-fi. This is a low budget R rated comedy. The R rating is as important to the film as it being a comedy. One of the main purposes of this movie is to show scantily clad topless women. This consists of three of the women competing and posing for a centerfold shoot topless. The topless scenes are not as frequent as you would think and there are no raunchy sexual situations. It really can't be called just a skin flick. The plot is poor, acting poor, and special effects poor. The 60 foot, occasionally topless, and frequently scantily clad star of the movie, J.J. North is the only thing holding this movie together. The comedy is funny because it's so lame and simplistic. This film is one of those that some would say 'It's so bad, it's good' and I think that is exactly what they were going for when making it. It's something you want to watch when you don't want to watch anything serious.

This one leaves us with the age old question: which was worse the plot or the acting? Well, actually it was probably the directing or the editing. The highlight of this exercise in absurdity is the cameo appearances of Disney's Tommy Kirk, Stanley (My 3 Sons) Livingston, and Russ Tamblyn (who also was unfortunate enough to cameo in 'Cabin Boy').