3 Ninjas em Apuros

One would think that after the previous two adrenaline-soaked installments in this series that the franchise would run out of steam, but instead of moving forward at the breakneck speed one would expect, instead it slows down and looks inward, finding fertile new ground to explore. One such example is when the boys first meet their native american uncle, and are illuminated to the ecological problems in our consumer specific culture. Not since "Fire Down Below", has their plight been so real that you cannot ignore it, and must hold yourself to blame. Another prime example is when Tum Tum runs afoul of the Yakuza, and his brothers steadfast protection of him in the face of danger. A bold, artistic statement, Three Ninjas Knuckle Up gives up the way of punches and kicks, and chooses the love of family over blitzkreig martial arts shenanigans in what is the most refreshing film of the year, and a prime candidate for film preservation. (All things said, I must admit that my review may be a little biased, being that I played "Ninja who gets hit in the crotch #3", so I hope you'll bear with me)

As a rule, sequels are never as good as the originals. Once in a while, we get AMAZING movies like "The Empire Strikes Back" and "Godfather II". However, comparing this movie to those two classics would be a great injustice to Mr. Lucas and Mr. Coppola.

I saw the first one as a nine-year old kid, and perhaps seeing this one eight years later detracted from me taking interest in the film, but nonetheless - this film is bad.

Eighty-five minutes of "non-stop ninja action" (they're not exaggerating when they say that) put together to form a weak plot. The Bruce Lee movies (which I am not really a fan of) at least have a sense of class in the way they show the martial arts as, well . . . an art! This is just pure violence. The film is obviously meant to be a flick for teenage girls with overactive hormones to come drool over Treanor and Slade (now 16 and 15 in this movie I believe) as they kick the living daylights out of everyone they meet.

This movie isn't entirely bad. The plot does try to tie in some interesting topics about Native American culture, however, the inaccuracies and stereotypical portrayal of the culture detracts from admiring this aspect of the movie too. Another good aspect is that I guess the moral of the story is humility, but it's hard to pick that up with all the "bad motorbike guys" flying all over the place, getting their butts kicked by some five foot ninja.

In the end, this is an incoherent, trashy, unwatchable film that plays at a much lower level than the original. Perhaps now that I'm 17 I should watch the original again and wonder why I liked it in the first place. Perhaps it was learning the lessons of obedience, patience, and of course getting a good laugh or two out of it. But nonetheless, this is not a trilogy worthy of sitting next to the "Star Wars", "Godfather" or even the "Ninja Turtles" Trilogy for that matter!

Best of luck to Treanor, Slade and Power. I do hope that they may land roles in the future that don't require them to jump up in the air, make a 360, and kick a massive biker guy (who weighs at least 200 pounds heavier than them) in the face and knock him out cold.

3 out of 10 . . . The last time I went that low was "Starship Troopers" (it got a 1)! Yikes!!

It's not supposed to be anything top of the line. And compared to "High Noon at Mega Mountain", this one deserves an Oscar. It's my most favorite out of the whole franchise, and it's the one that I've seen most. I think it's more-or-less because of the environmental aspect of it. It kind of has a message, yet it falls irritatingly short, and comes second to the fighting. It tries a little too hard to be more edgy, and in the end, looks more cheesy than anything. The fight scenes are......err......there. They're one part convincing, and one part cringe. You gotta think that, A. either these adults are severely dimwitted, B. have never fought in their entire lives, or C. they deliberately hold back because these are just kids. I can't decide whether the Native Americans portrayed were played for laughs, or if they were trying to evoke sympathy. But like I said before, this movie isn't meant to be top of the line. It's purely nostalgia, and if you enjoyed this movie when you were younger, chances are, you look back on it fondly. I know that I do, and I was ecstatic when I found it online, and ordered it. If you look at this movie expecting anything more than a children's (and I use that term loosely) movie, then you're going to be sorely disappointed. If you throw all your expectations out of the window, you're in for a joyfully silly, cringey, nostalgia ride.

Atrocious second (but not last!) "3 Ninjas" sequel sees the infamous trio trying to save their friend Joe from a toxic waste company. Good LORD this stuff is awful! They made the apparently final film in 1998 with Hulk Hogan. Please let it be the last!

Brothers Rocky, Colt and Tum Tum are travelling with their grandfather during summer holidays when they come across some sort of protest happening with Native Americans. They are protesting against a local businessman dumping toxic waste on their land but, with the protest being violently dispersed by police and thugs, the boys head into town to get pizza. However when those same thugs start picking on people in the local pizzeria, the boys fight back and with new friend (and cutie) Jo, get drawn into the fight against the battle for right.

Despite the fact that I had watched the p1ss-poor final film in the 3 Ninjas film series I found myself watching this one to see if there had ever been any merit in the series. Plus, to be honest, I did have a bit of a childish laugh about the fact that the title seemed to be suggesting that the boys would be entering puberty and perhaps be discovering the weird sensation of "self-love" for the first time (well, what else does the verb "to knuckle up" mean to you?). Anyway this comedy aside, there is not a great deal of value within the film other than that which comes unintentionally. The plot is obvious of course but the delivery tries to be in the style of a live action cartoon. This approach at times makes for some amusing moments but mostly it falls flat because the material is not that good and the comedy is obvious and rather lacking invention or wit.

One can imagine it working for young children but, speaking as someone who used to run a Sunday school class for 3-4 year olds, I have to ask whether or not I would want my kids watching this sort of material; the answer is probably "no". The action is silly and mostly fits in with the very obvious pratfalls that one would find in very basic silent comedy or children's television. I didn't find it exciting or funny and you can just feel the lack of heart or caring in the delivery. Indeed this is all through the film as it looks very cheap and is delivered with the minimum of effort. The direction is obvious and we get lots of "comedy" sound effects throughout as if to tell us to laugh.

The cast is different from the film I say but they are no better. They can move and there is no doubt that they are agile but that is very different from being able to act, which they can't. Treanor, Slade and Power cannot deliver a line for toffee and even during the action I found their constant "hi-yah's" to be endlessly annoying. Looking at them on IMDb I note with no surprise that few have viable careers now. Lightening plays the love interest and is no better than them – and IMDb puts a recent credit in her career as "Scantily Clad Girl #2" which perhaps suggests that she has gotten no better with time. Napier hams it up but looks like Olivier when compared to the lacklustre Kilpatrick. Wong is badly served and not helped by the most obvious use of a stunt body I've seen since the Family Guy movie spoofed Stewie jumping through a window.

Overall then, those looking for entertainment will do best to chuckle about the suggested meaning in the rubbish title but not bother to check the movie out itself. The acting, direction, action and overall delivery is roundly poor and, although the odd bit here and there is amusing, there is little here that I would want my children to take as their entertainment.