3 Ninjas em Apuros

I knew this was going to be bad. I didn't know how bad. It's probably the worst of the THREE NINJAS series (or, as it's spelled to market towards the under-age demographic, 3 NINJAS!), and that's not an easy feat. It starts poorly, and it just goes downhill. Every fight scene is so bad, it's not even explainable. (Is that a word?)

I've seen some bad films in my day but this is one of the worst, ever. I'm not exaggerating. In one fight scene, a kid actor -- who, coincidentally, can't act -- kicks a guy. He bends over with a comical look on his face, as if he's saying "Ouch! That hurt! I wonder why! I better think about it and give this kid the opportunity to do it again in the meantime!", and then the kid hands him a pizza tray (don't ask), punches him again, then kicks him. The guy pushes himself backwards and does a double flip (poor stuntmen -- it's obvious they're using their own force to accomplish the task), then lands on a table.

It's like POWER RANGERS, only performed by kids. In very dangerous situations, mind you. E.g. at the end a bunch of ruthless crooks with guns are chasing the kids and they keep outrunning and punching them.

This is a bad idea to put in kids' minds. "You can beat up grownups with guns -- just throw a few punches!"

Let me tell you what really would have happened.

Crook No. 1 would have whipped out his Uzi and taken down all three kids as they were running down the street like hyperactive morons.

I can't even DESCRIBE the awfulness of this movie. You honestly have to see it for yourself. It's that bad.

It's almost as bad as POD PEOPLE.

And get this: "Rated PG-13 for non-stop ninja action."

Non-stop ninja action. Wow. I guess this movie IS responsible for one thing -- proving that the MPAA can even manage to poke fun at movies. "For non-stop ninja action." I'm still laughing over that one.

-1/5

I'm a big fan of the 3 Ninjas series, the first one being my favorite. Knuckle Up is definitely the most action packed, the focus hardly on the story and more on flashy, Jackie Chan-like fight scenes. It's pretty unbelievable, how these pre-teen kids beat the snot out of full-grown armed men. In one scene, the bad guys have shotguns and they really hate those kids, but instead of shooting them, they prefer using the guns as clubs and try to whack them, but of course their plan fails.

The ninjas execute a number of impressive martial arts moves on their hapless foes, and even some unnecessary fake-outs just for show. This movie is good for a laugh, watch it if you like slap-stick humor and kids beating up wave after wave of foolish henchmen.

As a rule, sequels are never as good as the originals. Once in a while, we get AMAZING movies like "The Empire Strikes Back" and "Godfather II". However, comparing this movie to those two classics would be a great injustice to Mr. Lucas and Mr. Coppola.

I saw the first one as a nine-year old kid, and perhaps seeing this one eight years later detracted from me taking interest in the film, but nonetheless - this film is bad.

Eighty-five minutes of "non-stop ninja action" (they're not exaggerating when they say that) put together to form a weak plot. The Bruce Lee movies (which I am not really a fan of) at least have a sense of class in the way they show the martial arts as, well . . . an art! This is just pure violence. The film is obviously meant to be a flick for teenage girls with overactive hormones to come drool over Treanor and Slade (now 16 and 15 in this movie I believe) as they kick the living daylights out of everyone they meet.

This movie isn't entirely bad. The plot does try to tie in some interesting topics about Native American culture, however, the inaccuracies and stereotypical portrayal of the culture detracts from admiring this aspect of the movie too. Another good aspect is that I guess the moral of the story is humility, but it's hard to pick that up with all the "bad motorbike guys" flying all over the place, getting their butts kicked by some five foot ninja.

In the end, this is an incoherent, trashy, unwatchable film that plays at a much lower level than the original. Perhaps now that I'm 17 I should watch the original again and wonder why I liked it in the first place. Perhaps it was learning the lessons of obedience, patience, and of course getting a good laugh or two out of it. But nonetheless, this is not a trilogy worthy of sitting next to the "Star Wars", "Godfather" or even the "Ninja Turtles" Trilogy for that matter!

Best of luck to Treanor, Slade and Power. I do hope that they may land roles in the future that don't require them to jump up in the air, make a 360, and kick a massive biker guy (who weighs at least 200 pounds heavier than them) in the face and knock him out cold.

3 out of 10 . . . The last time I went that low was "Starship Troopers" (it got a 1)! Yikes!!

It's not supposed to be anything top of the line. And compared to "High Noon at Mega Mountain", this one deserves an Oscar. It's my most favorite out of the whole franchise, and it's the one that I've seen most. I think it's more-or-less because of the environmental aspect of it. It kind of has a message, yet it falls irritatingly short, and comes second to the fighting. It tries a little too hard to be more edgy, and in the end, looks more cheesy than anything. The fight scenes are......err......there. They're one part convincing, and one part cringe. You gotta think that, A. either these adults are severely dimwitted, B. have never fought in their entire lives, or C. they deliberately hold back because these are just kids. I can't decide whether the Native Americans portrayed were played for laughs, or if they were trying to evoke sympathy. But like I said before, this movie isn't meant to be top of the line. It's purely nostalgia, and if you enjoyed this movie when you were younger, chances are, you look back on it fondly. I know that I do, and I was ecstatic when I found it online, and ordered it. If you look at this movie expecting anything more than a children's (and I use that term loosely) movie, then you're going to be sorely disappointed. If you throw all your expectations out of the window, you're in for a joyfully silly, cringey, nostalgia ride.

As a kid, I loved Three Ninjas and the second one. I ended up renting this movie, and all I remember is how long this movie was. With a dragging, almost non-existent plot, the movie relied on a barrage of unnecessary fight scenes, and the longest, most pointless chase scene ever. I finally turned off the movie when I watched a scene where Rocky is fighting some thugs. But it wasn't the child actor, it was an adult stunt double crouching to look smaller, doing all these complicated spins and kicks. I wouldn't have minded that scene, if they hadn't done it in SLOW MOTION. Now that's a bit too amateurish for me to handle.