Garra de Campeão

This is one of the worst films of all time. Period. It makes "Cool as Ice" look like "The Godfather" in comparison. As others have pointed out, it is so bad that it is well worth watching, and for that reason I gave it a "2" instead of a "1". Also keeping it from being a complete waste of time are an appearance by the women destined to become the Coors Light Twins (of beer commercial fame). Jennifer Lyons is very easy on the eyes as well.

The main actor and his wingman, however, are NOT easy on the eyes. Nor ears. Every word from their mouths is like a projectile nail-bomb exploding in your face.

That goes for about every line in this movie. The script is filled with tired clichés and one-liners that fall completely flat. I laughed hard and often, but not for reasons people associated with the creation of this turd would have wanted.

The acting is awful. Completely awful. And the rest of the movie is worse.

IMDb says that this film was released in 1996...but I think it was filmed in the middle of the 80's. The clothes and haircuts are ridiculous and the sets are total cheese. I suspect this "film" sat on the shelves for a long time before it was unleashed for public consumption.

In short, watch this if you want to see film-making at its absolute worst. It's best with some friends, a lot of beer, and a great deal of patience.

I am not kidding. Who paid for this to be made? I would like my rental fee back. Watch it and you will see what I mean. 8 year old's taking on grown men and beating them. I thought it was to be a good serious martial arts movie. Boy was I wrong.

I recorded this movie on TiVo for my son, who finds Ted Jan Roberts movies to be hysterically funny because they are so bad. This movie beats all of his others for being really bad. The fight scenes are best played in slow motion to see just how horrible the choreography actually is. The lines are funny in a gut wrenchingly horrible way and at times I felt so embarrassed watching that I found myself often covering my eyes. You just can't help thinking how could someone actually write this screenplay. I don't know how the actors(if you can call them that) were actually able to even speak the lines in this crappy movie and keep any semblance of a straight face. Watch it if you want a laugh. My son won't allow me to erase it.

I got a kick reading some of the reviews on this site for this movie, namely the people complaining that this film gave them convulsions and so forth. On the contrary, this movie is so horrible that I was hypnotized. You could not pry my eyes from the TV set.

In any event, no need to describe the plot because it's too ridiculous to discuss. Let's just put it at this: a wanna-be karate kid dork fights gangsters working for a crooked real estate developer. Clichés and bad acting abound. Maybe my favorite was the character "Steve" who is another karate kid wannabe and has an inexplicable rivalry with the main character. (It would be more believable if Steve was actually cool. But nope, he's a dork too, so why no love?)

The "fight" scenes are anything but. It's the same one bad guy at a time procedure...kind of like a movie version of Streets of Rage for the Genesis.

Highlights: - Six-year-olds beating up musclemen gangsters. No really. - Jennifer Lyons and her two best friends (and I'm not talking about the girls the comic sidekick tries to hit on). - The random knife fight in the diner. - The comic sidekick's lame pick-up lines (so lame, I actually laughed). - The inexplicably evil real estate developer. - The stubborn uncle / convenience store owner who "ain't gonna let no one make him sell."

Why did I give it a 5? On one hand, it gets a 1 because sadly the director did not intend for this movie to be a joke. On the other hand, it gets a 10 for all the reasons listed above. So I picked the average.

You MUST see this movie. Preferably with a group of friends.

It is indeed "so bad it's good!" Doesn't do much for you if your a real Martial Arts fan. But what MA movie is great in 95? Blame the director. Gotta hype up your actors, and watch them. not just sit in your chair. The thing in this film was the background fighters/Actors. I mean they acted like they were in the background. Look out for it. It's hilarious.

T.J. Robert's was cool. He is why I cared to see this movie. Yeah I own it. I'm proud to. I like T.J. Roberts. He has however had a bad string of luck in the Film Industry. Let's just forget MASKED RIDER. But hey, He made me a fan.