Garra de Campeão

Oh no. I sat down to watch this as part of a martial arts weekend on UK tv expecting a high-kicking swift fight-fest, after all it was on at 11oClock at night! I was so horrified when I watched it - but like a car wreck I couldn't stop looking. There is nothing good about this - please avoid it like the plague.

Even if someone tells you it's so bad it's good - don't believe them - run for the hills and don't stop till you're sure it can't find you.

I'm torn between giving this movie a ten, or to give it a zero. I first saw this movie in about 1997 on television with a friend of mine. It was so godawful and cheesy that our sides were hurting from laughing. As American who grew up then, it reminded us both of a lame mid-1980's flick. Cheesy soundtrack written for movie, story of dorky looking kid who fights off bad guys and wins the popular girl, has an even dorkier friend for a sidekick, blah blah blah.... We were amazed to see this movue was actually released in 1996! I recommended this film to everyone I knew. Now, I do have to warn you, I did see this movie again later on - on my own. Seeing this movie by yourself might actually kill you, or at least send you into convulsions. Please don't watch this by yourself. Have a friend come over, call someone on your 'phone, have an instant messenger email conversation going on, etc. At least have a pet in the room! It's too much to take by yourself. It was like going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. I just wanted it to end and be over with. This movie can only be mocked in the presence of another person who will also find humor on horrid cinema. It's really that bad!

This is one of the worst films of all time. Period. It makes "Cool as Ice" look like "The Godfather" in comparison. As others have pointed out, it is so bad that it is well worth watching, and for that reason I gave it a "2" instead of a "1". Also keeping it from being a complete waste of time are an appearance by the women destined to become the Coors Light Twins (of beer commercial fame). Jennifer Lyons is very easy on the eyes as well.

The main actor and his wingman, however, are NOT easy on the eyes. Nor ears. Every word from their mouths is like a projectile nail-bomb exploding in your face.

That goes for about every line in this movie. The script is filled with tired clichés and one-liners that fall completely flat. I laughed hard and often, but not for reasons people associated with the creation of this turd would have wanted.

The acting is awful. Completely awful. And the rest of the movie is worse.

IMDb says that this film was released in 1996...but I think it was filmed in the middle of the 80's. The clothes and haircuts are ridiculous and the sets are total cheese. I suspect this "film" sat on the shelves for a long time before it was unleashed for public consumption.

In short, watch this if you want to see film-making at its absolute worst. It's best with some friends, a lot of beer, and a great deal of patience.

I got a kick reading some of the reviews on this site for this movie, namely the people complaining that this film gave them convulsions and so forth. On the contrary, this movie is so horrible that I was hypnotized. You could not pry my eyes from the TV set.

In any event, no need to describe the plot because it's too ridiculous to discuss. Let's just put it at this: a wanna-be karate kid dork fights gangsters working for a crooked real estate developer. Clichés and bad acting abound. Maybe my favorite was the character "Steve" who is another karate kid wannabe and has an inexplicable rivalry with the main character. (It would be more believable if Steve was actually cool. But nope, he's a dork too, so why no love?)

The "fight" scenes are anything but. It's the same one bad guy at a time procedure...kind of like a movie version of Streets of Rage for the Genesis.

Highlights: - Six-year-olds beating up musclemen gangsters. No really. - Jennifer Lyons and her two best friends (and I'm not talking about the girls the comic sidekick tries to hit on). - The random knife fight in the diner. - The comic sidekick's lame pick-up lines (so lame, I actually laughed). - The inexplicably evil real estate developer. - The stubborn uncle / convenience store owner who "ain't gonna let no one make him sell."

Why did I give it a 5? On one hand, it gets a 1 because sadly the director did not intend for this movie to be a joke. On the other hand, it gets a 10 for all the reasons listed above. So I picked the average.

You MUST see this movie. Preferably with a group of friends.

Agreed "So bad it's good", it may tie with "Karate Cop" for bad Martial Arts movies.

Everyone who owns a business keeps a bill of sale that can be signed on the spot for their business and the property....Too funny.

The "Karate School" scenes were terrible.It looks like they hired Asian actors to play the instructors who did nothing to make the "Dojo" seem real in any way.

The most believable actor was anyone who did not speak.

Now do I have 10 lines so I can post this review of this crappy terrible movie ?

Dwight