O Bordel de Sangue

Blood, breasts, vampires and Chris Sarandon. How can you go wrong?

"Bordello of Blood," the second "Tales From The Crypt" feature film, supplies the viewer with ample amounts of all of the above, leaving room for little else. What it lacks in story, it more than makes up for in its cheap thrills, and as far as midnight guilty pleasures go, this one is about as good as it gets.

The story revolves around a good-girl (Erika Eleniak) whose delinquent brother (Corey Feldman) goes missing. Upon hiring a wise-cracking private detective, it is revealed that a local morgue is housing a brothel run by a gang of beautiful but deadly vampires. Armed with super-soakers full of holy water and with the help of a guitar-slinging reverend (Chris Sarandon), the two set out to put the joint out of business once and for all.

Dennis Miller is essentially playing himself, but keeps the humor pumping through the film's ridiculous premise. Chris Sarandon, likewise, is in top form as the genre hero he truly is. As mentioned before, there's plenty of bare-flesh and red-stuff to go around, and if that sort of thing is your bag, you'll have a blast with "Bordello of Blood." Take it for the cheap thrill ride it is.

A wise-cracking sleazy Private Eye Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) is been hired from a born again lady (Erika Eleniak) to find her punk goth brother (Corey Feldman). Rafe discovers an bordello, which it's also a funeral home. Then he meets the seductive Lillith (Angie Everhart), who's actually Queen of the Vampires. Her sexy employees are also vampires, which they seduced lonely or horny mens for survival. Now Rafe has to destroy Lillith before it's too late.

Directed by Gilbert Alder made an watchable tongue in cheek horror/comedy from the popular HBO series. Which it was inspired by the horror comic books of the 1950's of the same title "Tales from the Crypt". The cast seems to be having a great time here, including Chris Sarandon (Who played an seductive vampire in "Fright Night") and Phil Fondacaro as Vincent. Especially when Miller and Sarandon are destroying Vampires with Supersoakers. This is the second film from what it meant to be a trilogy. Which the first movie was "Demon Knight", it was a modest box office success. When "Bordello of Blood" flopped at the box office, the third film never happened sadly.

Perphas the problem with the picture, it's the script by the director and A L Katz. It's never as good or amusing as we hoped to be. Although the story credit came from Bob Gale (Back to the Future Trilogy, Trespass, Used Cars) and Oscar-Winner Director:Robert Zemeckis (Beowulf, Cast Away, The Polar Express). Probably if Gale and Zemeckis wrote the script instead, this could have been a much enjoyable movie. Which they wrote excellent scripts together. The film is occasionally funny and Miller does his best by making this fun. There's enough campy sleaze, dark humour, in-jokes and gore by seeing this uninspired picture worth a look. The motion picture soundtrack of the movie is a lot better than the movie to some degree. William Sadler and Oscar-Winner:Whoopi Goldberg appears in amusing cameos. (***/*****).

I don't have much of an opinion on this flick. Because what's there to analyze? Gratuitous violence. Gratuitous gore. Gross-out effects strictly for shock value. Gratuitous nudity and close-ups of big breasts. What we have here is a feminist's nightmare. What we also have is an absolute blast!!!

I'm sure women won't enjoy this as much and will probably b*tch about the overdose of female nudity, but for all you guys who just don't give a damn and just want to kick back and have a good time: You will love this movie!! This is like a mix of Wes Craven and Howard Stern. A supreme guilty pleasure!

I enjoy deep, artistically brilliant films like "American Beauty" and "Magnolia," but there's no reason I can't enjoy a campy, shallow, sleazy horror flick like this. I don't ONLY enjoy these types of flicks, but I can enjoy it as long as it's done in a fun, tongue-in-cheek, unpretentious manner. I just want to get that straight. OK, I'll go on. :)

Dennis Miller provides great comic relief in his lead role. Those who are fans of his schtick should look forward to this movie. The horror sequences, though sometimes cheesy, are great fun to watch. There's a spectacular sequence at the end with excellent usage of the song "Ballroom Blitz." There are other great classics like "All Right Now" and "Jailbreak." That's why I bought the soundtrack. It's awesome!

So this movie fits the "guy flick" stereotype like a glove. If you're not in the mood for excessive violence, gore and female nudity--don't watch this movie! Don't say I didn't warn you.

My score: 7 (out of 10)

Ok, I am a female, so I really got annoyed by all the nudity in it of women... but, besides that, I think people are being too hard on this movie... If you rent a Tales From The Crypt movie, don't expect something very good... but I was a little dissapointed when I saw this, because I think Demon Knight is about one of the best horrors made, and I was surprised that their second film was far different than Demon Knight... This one, Bordello Of Blood, was more funny than anything (quite funny humor I must admit at some points in the movie) with gore, that's all it was, funny and bloody, I was shocked that this movie really didn't have a real plot to it (none that I realized anyway) except obviously, there was vampires, and they wanted them dead... Did I miss something? In Demon Knight, there was a strong plot, great acting, (Especially, Billy Zane...) And funny, gory, exciting, etc., but this was just... pretty plain. If you are expecting a good vampire movie out of this, go watch something else... may I recommend John Carpenter's Vampires? A more serious, believable vampire movie =), but hey, COME ON... this movie isn't THAT bad... is it? The whole idea of it was dumb, and I think made for men, and that isn't fair to us female fans of Tales From The Crypt... am I missing something? Well, maybe the "boss" the cryptkeeper IS a guy, I guess he has say-so about what is put in the movies...

Dennis Miller tries to stop a group of female bi-sexual vampires (led by the ultra-erotic Angie Everhart) who pose as prostitutes at a funeral home that acts as a front for a supposed prostitution ring. By the way, I am completely serious. "Bordello of Blood" is a crazed mess that is so hilarious because of its stupidity that it nearly becomes a deceptive winner. This is the second film of the mid-1990s from "The Tales From the Crypt" HBO series (the equally under-achieving "Demon Knight" was released in 1995). I personally like this picture a little more because it does not take itself too seriously and almost works better as a parody. However the film never rises from its very odd premise as its tone is unclear and the immensely funny situations are sometimes over-shadowed by very graphic violence and constant sexual situations. Arguably Miller's finest performance (go figure that one too) and the steamy vampires are not quite enough to keep "Bordello of Blood" from needing a shot for its STDs (Seriously Tedious Dilemmas). 2 stars out of 5.