O Bordel de Sangue

Private eye Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) is hired by Katherine Verdoux (Erika Eleniak) to find her missing brother Caleb (Corey Feldman). Rafe's search leads him to a brothel run by centuries-old vampire Lilith (Angie Everhart). The second of the 'Tales from the Crypt Presents' movies is nowhere near as good as the criminally underrated Demon Knight. It's not a scary movie, nor does it really try to be. It's a comedy, with Dennis Miller having a ball throwing out one liner after one liner. If only the rest of the movie matched his performance. The story is so slight you'll wonder if the entire script was jotted down on a napkin. The movie's primary selling point is sex and nudity, of which there is not a lot. Especially disappointing when you consider that the two most well-known women in the film, Everhart and Eleniak, never appear nude. Still, a fun tone with a great turn by Miller makes it worth watching once.

As a horror movie that doesn't take itself seriously at all, Bordello is okay. It's hard to believe that Miller gives it such a hard time on his HBO show: it's not bad for what it is: a trashy little horror/humor/camp movie that gives Miller center-stage with his own brand of humorous asides. The ending is kinda twisty, Aubrey Morris' performance is downright weird but amusing, and there's plenty of new-style horror "gore" thrown in. The female leads are pretty much wasted, and there's way too much unnecessary nudity. Bordello's real problem is simply that it pales in comparison to the excellently done Demon Knight. It's basically a whole different, campy concept (and what's up with Will Sadler's wasted cameo as the Mummy?). It's okay, but nothing special: Dennis Miller fans will get a kick out of it.

The dwarf Vincent Prather (Phil Fondacaro) leads an expedition to the Tierra del Fuego following an ancient map. He arrives at a cave where there is a coffin instead of a treasure. He opens a box with four pieces of a heart and revives the mother of all vampires Lilith (Angie Everhart) that kills his employees. Vincent uses a key artifact with blood to control and protect himself from Lilith.

The punk Caleb Verdoux (Corey Feldman) has an argument with his sister Katherine Verdoux (Erika Eleniak ) and leaves their house to go to a bar to meet a friend. They learn that there is an amazing brothel at 325 Beaumont, a funeral home where they should ask for the Cunningham Wake. They are received by the mortician McCutcheon (Aubrey Morris) and soon they go to the brothel. However Lilith runs the place and the girls are vampires. Caleb's friend is killed by Lilith that that rips his heart out of his chest and then Caleb is attacked by her.

Katherine goes to the precinct to report that her brother is missing but the police officer does not give much attention to her. The private investigator Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) overhears her conversation and offers his services to Katherine. The snoopy Rafe tracks Caleb's path and he discovers that the brothel seems to be a lair of vampires. But Katherine, who works with Reverend Current (Chris Sarandon) that has a business connection with Lilith, does not believe in his word. Now Rafe is seeking evidences to prove to Katherine that he is telling the truth.

"Bordello of Blood" is an underrated gore comedy of vampires. The plot is funny, with beautiful and hot female vampires, and also with a great unexpected conclusion. The comedy is a funny parody of horror and crime genres with the sexy Angie Everhart and Erika Eleniak. But Dennis Miller steals the movie in the role of a sleazy but efficient private eye. Lilith's tongue reaching the heart of her victims is hilarious; however the funniest scene is when Rafe teams up with Reverend Current and they use squirt guns with holy water to defeat the female vampires, exploding them. When the viewer expects a happy ending, with the good guy and the good girl together, there is an unforeseen conclusion. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): "O Bordel de Sangue" ("The Brothel of Blood")

Note: On 06 November2020, I saw this film again.

Let's face it...this was a B-movie, Universal just put some more money into it. They massacred the vampire lore, but since this is a B-movie, it doesn't matter. Dennis Miller is hilarious as always; and what cheesy horror flick is genuine without Corey Feldman. The only discrepancy I have with this movie are the Cryptkeeper segments. They were just a remake of a Cryptkeeper segment from a TV episode. The only difference was that William Sadler was dressed up as the mummy instead of the Grim Reaper (a reprisal of his role in "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey").

I don't have much of an opinion on this flick. Because what's there to analyze? Gratuitous violence. Gratuitous gore. Gross-out effects strictly for shock value. Gratuitous nudity and close-ups of big breasts. What we have here is a feminist's nightmare. What we also have is an absolute blast!!!

I'm sure women won't enjoy this as much and will probably b*tch about the overdose of female nudity, but for all you guys who just don't give a damn and just want to kick back and have a good time: You will love this movie!! This is like a mix of Wes Craven and Howard Stern. A supreme guilty pleasure!

I enjoy deep, artistically brilliant films like "American Beauty" and "Magnolia," but there's no reason I can't enjoy a campy, shallow, sleazy horror flick like this. I don't ONLY enjoy these types of flicks, but I can enjoy it as long as it's done in a fun, tongue-in-cheek, unpretentious manner. I just want to get that straight. OK, I'll go on. :)

Dennis Miller provides great comic relief in his lead role. Those who are fans of his schtick should look forward to this movie. The horror sequences, though sometimes cheesy, are great fun to watch. There's a spectacular sequence at the end with excellent usage of the song "Ballroom Blitz." There are other great classics like "All Right Now" and "Jailbreak." That's why I bought the soundtrack. It's awesome!

So this movie fits the "guy flick" stereotype like a glove. If you're not in the mood for excessive violence, gore and female nudity--don't watch this movie! Don't say I didn't warn you.

My score: 7 (out of 10)