Hudson Hawk, o Falcão Está à Solta

...no, don't take it seriously, as the movie doesn't take seriously itself. It's as funny as it's silly, and that's what makes it enjoyable. Characters are all dumb, the good guys are no saner than the cartoon-looking bad guys, the story is just the basement for a set of somehow childish jokes that, even being a grown up, I really enjoyed when I watched it a couple of decades ago. I decided to watch it again today, to find that it's still funny enough to have a nice time in the couch.

Hudson Hawk has the dubious distinction of being the final film produced by TriStar Pictures prior to their being bought out by the Sony Corporation and merged with Columbia Pictures.

Plot In A Paragraph: Hudson Hawk, the worlds greatest cat burglar, has just been released from prison in New York. He is immediately blackmailed in to stealing some of Da Vinci's finest work in order to aid a world domination plot.

Bruce Willis gives one of his worst performances as Eddie Hawkins/Hudson Hawk, likewise Danny Aiello is not up to his usual standard as Tommy Hawks best mate, Andie MacDowell is very blah as Anna, Hawks love interest. David Caruso and Frank Stallone are both fine in their supporting roles. However Sandra Bernhard and Richard E. Grant are simply awful. Cringeworthy bad. They ruin EVERY scene they are in.

The movie doesn't seem to know what it wants to be, a slapstick comedy or an action adventure, and sadly ends up being neither.

One thing I did like was a running joke in the movie that has Hudson and his partner Tommy (Aiello) singing songs concurrently but separately, to time and synchronize their exploits. Willis-Aiello duets of Bing Crosby's "Swinging on a Star" and Paul Anka's "Side by Side" are a bit of fun in an otherwise mixed bag.

Is this a great movie? Not really. Will I absolutely stop and watch it if I happen to see it's on? Yes, I will. It's truly an oddball comedy, most definitely not every joke works, but its manic energy and silliness still manage to crack me up.

The real credit, for me, goes to the movie's two ridiculous scene-chewing villains, Minerva and Darwin Mayflower who pretty well have to be seen to be believed. If you looked up over the top in a dictionary I think you could possibly see a picture of them, and yet they're played with such conviction and flair that I love every scene they're in. For me, without them, the movie wouldn't be anywhere near as fun.

In May of 1991 the world was just not ready for Hudson Hawk, and apparently this caused a lot of confusion in the marketing department. How on Earth were they supposed to sell this strange oddity of a film? Eventually they settled on Bruce Willis brand recognition and built an ad campaign that would promote it as a sort of Die Hard-lite. When audiences eventually found out it was an absurdist, cartoon caper comedy they didn't quite know what to make of it and it was widely panned by critics and filmgoers alike. Not fair. Hudson Hawk is actually a wonderful little movie with a reputation is simply doesn't deserve.

By the time July of 1991 rolled around the movie was getting its UK premier and the ad campaign had changed to play up the comedy and adventure more than the action. I remember 10-year-old me (already a Die Hard and Willis fan) sitting alone in a screen at the old UCI cinema in Kinnaird Park thinking "this looks awesome". If a kid could tell the difference...

Being a 15-rating here in the UK (and rated R in the US) I had to wait until it hit home video. As soon as the end credits rolled I was fascinated by this new Cappuccino thing that Hawk was always harping on about. It became my go-to beverage whenever and wherever it was being served (an idiosyncrasy that has since been ruined by the horrific advent of "fashionable coffee"). As you can tell, I've been a fan of Hudson Hawk since I was a kid.

Bruce Willis is Eddie Hawkins, the world's greatest cat-burglar, who is determined to go straight after a long stretch in prison. Too bad for him that an assortment of eccentric villains are determined to force him to do their dirty work in a crazy world domination plot. Take the usual tropes of James Bond, Crosby and Hope, the Pink Panther, and retro heist movies and you'll have something close to what Hudson Hawk attempts to be. It is handsomely shot in real European locations with lots of quotable dialogue courtesy of Daniel Waters who co-wrote the script with Die Hard scribe Steven E. De Souza, based on Willis' original ideas. Yes, Bruce Willis created Hudson Hawk himself.

The movie is far from perfect though, even the biggest Hudson Hawk fans know that. It is way too complicated and will take several viewings just to fully grasp what the hell is going on. However, even in 1991 it seemed that De Souza and Waters knew that the European Union and forthcoming "single currency market" would be a terrible idea. The plot to ruin the world economy would probably be lauded in these more politically turbulent times.

Also,the literal bookends are an indulgence too far, and Andie McDowell (a last minute replacement for Isabella Rossellini and Maruschka Detmers) is just about tolerable in a role that she clearly didn't understand. The scene where she feigns mental illness by speaking in Dolphin-ish is yet another eccentricity that the film could have done without. But the main fault here is the swearing. The cast are dropping f-bombs and mofos all over the place and it just doesn't sit well the overall tone. There is absolutely no reason why Hudson Hawk should have been anything more than a PG. When I was 10-years-old I was overdosing on episodes of The Young Ones (a similarly anarchic and crazy TV show) and this movie really appealed to me. I do believe that kids and family audiences were the people that Hudson Hawk should have been sold to and the R-rating harmed the films appeal a lot.

McDowell aside, the cast are all either wonderfully over-the-top or strangely quirky. From James Coburn's enthusiastic CIA crook, to a restrained David Caruso as the mute Kit Kat. He doesn't even have any lines and he has a character arc. If you are in need of light- hearted, good-natured entertainment then Hudson Hawk never fails. It is a real shame that this never had the chance to develop into a franchise. If so we might have been spared the awfulness of Die Hard 4 and 5.

Hudson Hawk has cult movie written all over it. Bruce Willis and Danny Aiello have a blast making robberies while singing show tunes. It put me in the spirit of the movie and I enjoyed myself. Everybody in the cast overacts but that didn't bother me at all. This is the kind of movie that after years pass will be considered a cult classic. Check out Hudson Hawk if you want to have a good time. Because like all the best films, you have to suspend your belief in reality to make it work and this movie is fantasy on a whole new level.