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Tarzán (1991)

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Tarzán

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  • [Roger and Simon are arguing over Roger's loud music]
  • Roger: I happen to know that Albert Schweitzer listened to loud music.
  • Simon: Albert Schweitzer never listened to music that loud.
  • Roger: Yeah? How do you know?
  • Simon: Because he won the Nobel PEACE Prize.
  • [Long pause]
  • Roger: That... is the most logical thing I've ever heard.
  • [after a crash]
  • Jane: Where's my Jeep?
  • Tarzan: Jane's Jeep became good friends with a tree.
  • Jane: It did, huh?... Okay.
  • Tarzan: Sometimes Jane's mind works so hard that her eyes do not see.
  • Jane: And what is that supposed to...
  • [Jane trips on a rock and falls]
  • Tarzan: Jane made Tarzan's point.
  • Jane: Ha ha.
  • [about his parents]
  • Tarzan: They died, Tarzan lived. Why?
  • Jane: The jungle needed you.
  • Dan: Okay, how do I explain this? When you're a star, everybody knows you.
  • Tarzan: Everybody knows Dan: Jane, Roger, Cheetah...
  • Dan: No, no, no, Tarzan, I mean everybody all around the world. You're in the newspaper every day, you're on TV every day, you sign autographs.
  • Tarzan: Autographs?
  • Dan: Yeah, you write your name on a piece of paper.
  • Tarzan: Why?
  • Dan: Because you're famous! Because everybody wants a piece of you. That's what makes them happy.
  • Tarzan: The sun makes people happy. Trees make people happy. Why does a piece of paper make people happy?
  • [pause]
  • Dan: I'll have to get back to you on that.
  • Tarzan: Jane is very stubborn.
  • Jane: I had a good teacher.
  • Starr Reilly: I have to dig a what?
  • Roger: A trench. T-R-E...
  • Starr Reilly: I know how to spell it, you goon.
  • Roger: You know, someday, you're going to have to start reading something other than airplane manuals.
  • Dan: Okay, Great Wizard of the Book.
  • Dan: Somebody explain to me why I live in a house with no walls in the middle of monsoon territory.
  • Roger: The rent's cheap?
  • Dan: Oh, yeah. I knew it was something.
  • Starr Reilly: You're sure you've never heard of me?
  • Tarzan: Tarzan is sure.
  • Starr Reilly: What, you don't have a CD player? Okay, a radio? Now come on, you must watch videos!
  • Tarzan: Tarzan watches the jungle. That is enough.
  • Starr Reilly: I don't understand. I'm supposed to be a household name.
  • Roger: I guess that doesn't cover treehouses.
  • Simon: Jane Porter never did anything because of a man.
  • Tarzan: In Tarzan's jungle, it is more important to protect the living than to protect memories.
  • Roger: I wouldn't go out there for all the cars in Detroit!
  • Jane: How do you always make everything so simple?
  • Tarzan: Practice.
  • Simon: I missed the city once, Jane. I missed the rush and the color, and the sight of women so beautiful in their dresses and high heels. Then I looked at this jungle, at the birds and the trees, the ground so alive beneath me, and I realized that out here in the middle of nowhere, in a place not even on the map... I was closer to God.
  • Jane: You could have told me there was water nearby before I made a fool of myself.
  • Tarzan: Jane is not a fool. Just wrong.

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