Loucademia de Ninjas

The cover compared it to Police Academy and I was sold. I felt that the boast was enough to guarantee me a laugh or two. I didn't laugh once. It was really bad. And I didn't think I could hate a song more than Gasolina but every time the Hokey Pokey song came on, just made me hate the movie more and more. I eventually realized it's pretty much the only thing they use in the movie. My son thought that the main character was Matthew Perry. That doesn't say much for the main character as we already had a Matthew Perry. The story is ludicrous. The idea is creative but very poorly executed. It is movies like this that make me want to choose a film with extra caution next time.

As a part of my quest to watch every ninja movie I could get my hand on, I viewed this last night. Apparently released as a five-years-too-late cash-in on the Police Academy craze, Nico Mastorakis, who also brought us Glitch! and .com for Murder, saw fit to put Ninja Academy on the screen. The movie flagrantly combines the idiotic wackiness of the Police Academy movies with the kind of directorial judgment you'd expect from someone with advanced Alzheimers, not to mention one of the doughiest, most idiotic villains ever seen in a martial arts film. The movie has about the kind of humor usually aimed at second graders, but boasts too much nudity and dirty language to be shown to them. Which leaves me with the theory that this movie must have been created for adults with mild to severe mental retardation.

Fortunately, most of the people associated with this film have gone on to careers in the food service and janitorial industries, save Mastorakis, who inexplicably continues to receive funding for his films. Avoid unless you hate yourself.

I had never actually heard about this 1989 movie titled "Ninja Academy", prior to stumbling upon it by random chance here in 2023. And with it being a late 1980s movie with ninjas, and allegedly in the likes of the "Police Academy" movies, of course I had to sit down and watch it, as there is a certain charm to the cheese of the 1980s cinema.

Well, writer Jonathan D. Gift just didn't really manage to capture much of neither the essence or the campiness and cheese of the good old 1980s ninja movies, nor the comedy elements or fun of the "Police Academy" movies. And that made sitting through 92 minutes of it a bit of an ordeal, especially since I wasn't brought to laughter a single time throughout the course of the story.

The acting performances in "Ninja Academy" were actually fair. It wasn't a cast ensemble that had any particular familiar talents on the cast list, well aside from Gerald Okamura, of course.

For a comedy movie, then director Nico Mastorakis didn't deliver anything overly impressive. Sure, the movie could be watched for what it was, but it was hardly an outstanding or memorable movie experience. And this is definitely not a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time.

My rating of "Ninja Academy" lands on a generous three out of ten stars.

My review was written in July 1990 after watching the film on Quest Entertainment video cassette.

A mild entry in the ongoing trainee film sweepstakes (e.g., "Police Academy"), this direct-to-video feature includes enough gags and pretty girls to prove diverting.

Motley cast members assemble at Gerald Okamura's martial arts academy to gain toughness, an update of traditional military academy films. Modern version features a coed dorm, spotlighting sexy blonde Kathleen Stevens, her pal Lisa LeCover and especially the bodacious instructor (Okamura's daughter) Kelly Randall. En route to a climactic battle with a rival school (just like in every Hong Kong kung fu film), the goofballs run through the usual antics, including spying on a neighboring nudist camp and mocking the obstacle course. Running gag has a James Bond type (he's named 007-11, working for M&M) who plays the entire film in his tuxedo as well as a mime who's consistently out of place.

Cast is enthusiastic in what amounts to an audition for bigger features. End credits reflect filmmaker Nico Mastorakis' fondness for in-jokes but are pretty lame.

Have to say this was meant to be a copy of police academy but with ninjas instead one of the west films I have ever watched.. It's just not even well written it's about 2 different sensi who have there own ninja academies they end up teaching some Fuentes and iUts including a mime artist a 007 lookalike someone who speaks with a hoarse voice and woman who can't act one little bit .

Then the 2 sensi teachers fight each other also the students get attacked by the bad ninja teacher and I don't know trying to explain that this is just total noncence and my dog even turned his nose up no at watching this avoid and would recommend watching some paint to dry instead.