Loucademia de Ninjas

As a part of my quest to watch every ninja movie I could get my hand on, I viewed this last night. Apparently released as a five-years-too-late cash-in on the Police Academy craze, Nico Mastorakis, who also brought us Glitch! and .com for Murder, saw fit to put Ninja Academy on the screen. The movie flagrantly combines the idiotic wackiness of the Police Academy movies with the kind of directorial judgment you'd expect from someone with advanced Alzheimers, not to mention one of the doughiest, most idiotic villains ever seen in a martial arts film. The movie has about the kind of humor usually aimed at second graders, but boasts too much nudity and dirty language to be shown to them. Which leaves me with the theory that this movie must have been created for adults with mild to severe mental retardation.

Fortunately, most of the people associated with this film have gone on to careers in the food service and janitorial industries, save Mastorakis, who inexplicably continues to receive funding for his films. Avoid unless you hate yourself.

Take a look at Mastorakis's amazing profile to top-notch films. he's right up there with Spielberg and QT. A whole 5/15 films have received an IMDB rating of above 4/10. thats just amazing.

dont rent this movie. its not even worth the $.50 that a CDR costs and the 1/2 hour it'll take to download it off the net. Mastorakis is a shining example of someone who doesnt deserve to be in any film industry. however, he does make a great target for self-respecting movie goers who can all come together to attack one person, instead of fighting over who hates kevin smith and roger ebert.

the people who gave this movie anything higher than a 3/10 must have either thought it was another ron jeremy epic. i laughed harder when bambi's mother died than i did at this movie. 1/10 because i cant give 0.

Rarely does one see a modern silent comedy, and one often wonders what one would be like. Well, this is pretty much it. Don't get me wrong, this is a VERY bad movie. But overall I found it enjoyable. The characters are SOOO absurd, and the attempts at humor are SOOO pathetic, one cannot help but laughing. This movie is so bad that MST3K couldn't make it any funnier, it's glaringly pathetic enough as is. As long as you don't take this movie at all seriously, I think you'll enjoy watching it.

The cover compared it to Police Academy and I was sold. I felt that the boast was enough to guarantee me a laugh or two. I didn't laugh once. It was really bad. And I didn't think I could hate a song more than Gasolina but every time the Hokey Pokey song came on, just made me hate the movie more and more. I eventually realized it's pretty much the only thing they use in the movie. My son thought that the main character was Matthew Perry. That doesn't say much for the main character as we already had a Matthew Perry. The story is ludicrous. The idea is creative but very poorly executed. It is movies like this that make me want to choose a film with extra caution next time.

I had never actually heard about this 1989 movie titled "Ninja Academy", prior to stumbling upon it by random chance here in 2023. And with it being a late 1980s movie with ninjas, and allegedly in the likes of the "Police Academy" movies, of course I had to sit down and watch it, as there is a certain charm to the cheese of the 1980s cinema.

Well, writer Jonathan D. Gift just didn't really manage to capture much of neither the essence or the campiness and cheese of the good old 1980s ninja movies, nor the comedy elements or fun of the "Police Academy" movies. And that made sitting through 92 minutes of it a bit of an ordeal, especially since I wasn't brought to laughter a single time throughout the course of the story.

The acting performances in "Ninja Academy" were actually fair. It wasn't a cast ensemble that had any particular familiar talents on the cast list, well aside from Gerald Okamura, of course.

For a comedy movie, then director Nico Mastorakis didn't deliver anything overly impressive. Sure, the movie could be watched for what it was, but it was hardly an outstanding or memorable movie experience. And this is definitely not a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time.

My rating of "Ninja Academy" lands on a generous three out of ten stars.