Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout

An absolute must see for fans of national treasure Linnea Quigley. How anyone could dislike an entire "movie" devoted to her is beyond me. This is a collection of clips from her films with new segments featuring Linnea showering and working out. It's all sexy fun just like the star. If this doesn't put a smile on your face you might want to check your pulse.

After taking a quick shower, the actress presents us with the challenges of her profession and what it means to stay in top shape for the occasion, eventually finding her activities interrupted by a horde of zombies and a masked killer targeting her friends that threaten to put an end to her fitness quest.

This is an incredibly fun and enjoyable cheesy genre outing. The initial setup here of her doing the routine of what made her famous in the genre before starting the main gist of the film itself by going through the clips from her films that show the purpose for everything to take place and then turning into her dance routine of stretching and cheeseball come-ons makes this start quite fun. The knowing winks and nods about what's going on, even down to the attire or the way the camera keeps moving in for better shots of certain parts of her anatomy, help to complete a solid sleazy atmosphere even with a hint of class to the project knowingly making these sorts of remarks that help to bring about a knowing tongue-in-cheek approach to everything. The second half involving the arrival of the zombies and her encounters there continue the same spirit of things as we get to see the requisite lighthearted chasing and running around before getting to the outright enjoyable exercise routine. This gets the absurd visual of her leading them through a full-scale regiment that includes enough nods to genre convention and hysterically funny concepts for how she's able to deal with them that it manages to keep the same sense of style and approach that the first half carried. The slumber party section is a chance to go for a slasher route that comes off rather well with the returning montage of clips and exercising before leading into some decent chasing for a change of pace and some gore, leaving everything fun enough and cheesy to be quite enjoyable.

Rated Unrated/R: Nudity, Language, and Violence.

Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout (1990)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Whereas BILLY THE KID VS. Dracula was one of the drive-in eras biggest cult favorites, this thing here has to be one of the crowning achievements of the VHS era. I'm sure anyone who grew up in the 80s remember the days when you'd walk into your local shop and never know what new, weird title you'd find on the shelf.

We all know that Linnea Quigley was one of the biggest stars of the VHS days and this here has to be her most outrageous film. Part documentary, part workout video and part slasher, this film offers up quite a bit in its 61-minute running time but without a doubt the main reason it was made is so that her fans could see her naked (again). Basically we start off with Quigley talking to the camera and then going through some of her movie clips. From here she shows us her workout, which leads her to going for a job when she's attacked by zombies. She's worried about the "shape" that the zombies are in so she leads them on an exercise. Later, after another workout, Quigley and her girlfriends are stalked by a psycho.

Anyone who would actually take this film serious are certainly watching the wrong movie. I think as long as you come into this thing with an open mind then you should be able to have some fun with it. Quigley is certainly attractive enough to where it's easy to just look at her beautiful body but she's also quite charming here and manages to be very funny as well (especially during a "stretch your muscle" joke). The zombie scene is funny in its own way and the slasher segment also does a nice job at spoofing the type of horror films that were being released during this period. At just 61-minutes I will admit that the workout stuff gets a little dragged out a bit but there's still no question that fans of Quigley will enjoy watching this.

My review was written in May 1990 after watching the program on Cinema Home Video cassette.

A cute satire of exercise videos, this horror-themed tape boasts the luscious Linnea Quigley (before she dropped her last name from her billing) but runs a good gag into the ground.

Opener is a tantalizing shower scene with Linnea, the the tape segues to a 10-minute segment of film clips from her B-picture videos like "Creepozoids" and "Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama", mostly made by the show's executive producer David DeCoteau.

Quigley leads the viewer in various stretching and aerobic exercises, but the gimmick is that monsters or slashers attack, cueing interesting makeup effects. Unfortunately, the tedium of the exercise routines is retained along with the satire.

One imaginative segment has her out jogging, pursued by a horde of zombies who rise up out of a cemetery. When they get her cornered by a swimming pool, Linnea yells "You're a mess!" and leads them in comical exercise routines.

Another highlight is a slumber party with pretty young starlets joining the star in aerobics and watching tv. Identity of the maniacal slasher wearing a Ronald Reagan mask is easy to guess.

Show ends with outtakes. Shot of a clapperboard reveal the pseudonymous director as Kenneth J. Hall, helmer of the horror video "Evil Spawn".

I may be a bit biased on this one because I have an autographed copy of the video...

This video is great fun though. I like to pop it in at a party or when the guys are over..it's good, fun, mindless entertainment.

I work out my eyes regularly to this video.

There are some great clips of Linnea's movies as well as cheesy humor and a few exercise sessions.

The opening shower scene is funny as well as hot. It's a great way to start of this video which finishes off funny, with outtakes and goofs.

Not for everyone, but a good party tape.