Minha Vida de Cão

For some reason I keep coming back to this show. Every year I get the shows out and watch them again. Every year I see new things. I understand more. I'm twenty-six now. What's going on?

When you're a teenager, and you have those problems, and you know your friends will make fun of you if you tell them, you look to film, music and TV for answers. Living in England, honest to goodness teen shows are pretty thin on the ground. There's 'Byker Grove', 'Grange Hill' and hints of 'HollyOaks' and that's about it. The trouble is that none of them quite has the audacity or time slot to cut to the heart of what its actually like to be a teenager. Most of the time you have to look to US shows like 'Dawson's Creek' or 'Buffy'. But standing above them all was 'My So-called Life' a television programme that answered all of our questions. When the show was transmitted on our Channel 4 in 1995 it was stupidly popular.

No one had seen anything like this. Suddenly you knew what to do about that older boy or girl you fancy. Or if you have feelings for the girl next door. Or if you weren't sure about your sexuality. Or of someone loved you but you couldn't return their feelings. Or if you got handcuffed to a bed. Your heart was broken by it week after week, but you came back before because you knew it was doing you good. A free hour of therapy with what amounted to being your friends.

Even if you didn't want to admit it, you were one of them. You were Rayanne Graffe, afraid of the world and overcompensating. Sharon Cherski, searching for your own identity beneath the expectations of others. You were Ricki Vasquez unsure who you were but quietly finding an equilibrium. You were Jordan Catalano torn between your friends and something else. You were Brian Krakow, the romantic with so many high expectations of people. You were Danielle Chase, always being kicked out of different rooms. You were Patty Chase fighting to keep your family together. You were Graham Chase fighting to keep yourself together. And you were always Angela, your world falling apart around you, every choice being wrong, every moment a battle, but somehow slowly working it all out.

Then, after nineteen episodes, it was gone. Replaced, I believe, by a rerun of 'Matlock'. The show should never have been cancelled. It wasn't fair goddam it. And not on that cliffhanger. But perhaps it had the right end. The perfect ending. The only ending this show could have had. Making a choice then watching in pain the road not travelled. So like life. So-called Life.

This year we would have had its sixth season. All of the contracts would have been up for renewal. The teenagers would have been twenty something. Characters would have gone, new characters brought in. The writing teams change. But it would not have been the same show.

The show I keep coming back to.

Remember the first time you said goodbye to someone and you knew you would never, ever see them again? Remember how that felt? If you do, then you know Angela Chase and her family and friends on "My So-Called Life", a simple show about a group of people at a specific time in their lives that is like the fly stuck in amber.

There are only nineteen episodes of this most compelling of programs, then it is done. As the nineteenth episode ends, you are left with a painful feeling deep inside. You have come to care for these people and now they are gone. The next day, the rerun cycle will begin again and you will watch, entranced, as Angela and Rayanne and Rickie and Jordan and Brian and Sharon and Patty and Graham and Danielle travel through the same nineteen hours again, as you sit back, longing for that nineteenth episode to be followed by episode twenty. But it never comes. It's cruel.

"My So-Called Life" is a good argument to never watch television again. And a great argument to say you're glad you did. It's not simply a show about angst-ridden mid-ninetees teens. It's much more.

You owe it to yourself to watch these nineteen episodes, to get a glimpse at what a five-star television series looks like...and how wrong it is when a television network takes it away.

Kudos to all involved.

This series is required viewing.

When seen in order, these 19 episodes form an amazingly rich chronicle of a year in the lives of Angela Chase, her high school friends and the adults in their lives. Writing this great rarely makes it into series television. As disappointing as it was when the show was cancelled after one year, the result was a self-contained almost novelistic tapestry of interwoven stories that stands alone as one of the finest depictions of adolescence and parenthood ever created for the screen.

One of the most distinctive threads that runs through the series is the way both children and adults deceive themselves about what they really want and need out of life. The drama and humor of the series often revolves around the struggle of the different characters to break through to their genuine selves.

Among many fine story lines, one standout is that of Rickie Vasquez, probably the first depiction of a gay teen on series television, and if not the first, certainly the most unapologetic. I could go on way too long about all the other moving, surprising, heartbreaking and ironic story lines, about the way characters are always surprising us with unexpected depths or insights or abilities, about the use of music, about the incredibly honest and unexploitative depiction of teenage sexuality, and about the performances, which are uniformly superb, even in the smallest roles. Best of all the show is so rich and crafted so brilliantly that it rewards repeated viewing.

Just watched the show again, for the first time since it was cancelled. (Thanks Hulu.) Wanted to weigh it with this: I was a man in his early 30s in 1995, and I loved this show. I'm still a man now, and in my early 50s, and I still love this show. One of the things that tubed it back then was that the network (and apparently the public) couldn't understand that a show _about_ teenagers isn't automatically a show _for_ teenagers. Missing from many reviews is the fact that a good chunk of every episode was actually about the parents' lives away from their kids. And that part was just as cutting-edge, and just as good.

The casting was razor-sharp. In 1995 I was just coming to grips with the fact that 1.) lots of people are gay and 2.) that's not a problem. Wilson Cruz was a major part in that belated growing-up. The kid was brilliant. Tom Irwin did the best job of portraying an actual middle-aged man I've ever seen. Just a guy trying to meet his responsibilities, _and_ be happy. This is a lot harder than TV usually makes it out to be, and Tom did a fantastic impression of that high-wire act.

And Claire. Sometimes I wanted to shake her character. Sometimes I wanted to hug her. I knew that girl, when I was a teenager. I knew Brian Krakow, too. (Alright, I _was_ Brian Krakow. Sue me.) They were all great, even the bit parts, even the walk-ons.

My point is that My So-Called Life is not a "kids' show." If ABC had understood that, maybe things would have been different.

Great, history-making television, up there with Lucy and The Honeymooners and Star Trek. See it.

Actually MTV ran it right after it ran on ABC as part of a campaign to get it recomissioned (and as a brilliant marketing ploy for them, I agree). They ran it every day after school with various members of the cast introducing the episodes.

I was a year older than the characters in this film and yes one person can have that much drama in their lives and especially at that age. People that are too young to have come to this show for the first time need to remember that this was made for the same kids that a few years before were watching 90210 where nothing was even close to a real teen's life. This was very real for a lot of people and it also broken boundaries. Anyone remember a gay high school character on TV before this show? I can't. Plus, the fashion is too true that it is scary.