- Johnny: I wanna join the Army.
- Aunt Bella: The Army? *Our* Army?
- Johnny: Yeah! But they wouldn't take me. I couldn't pass the, the - whatever they give you I couldn't pass.
- Aunt Bella: You guys have to promise not to tell grandma! Jay?
- Jay: I promise.
- Aunt Bella: Arty?
- Arty: She and I have very short conversations.
- Jay: Where would someone like Grandma hide her money?
- Arty: You're not thinking of stealing it, are you?
- Jay: No, but what if we just borrowed it? I'd just love to send Pop an envelope with $9,000.
- Arty: Who would he think sent it to him... God?
- Jay: No. He had an uncle in Poland who died. We can say he left the money to Pop in his will.
- Arty: Jay, do you think the Germans would let some Jew in Poland send $9,000 to some Jew in Alabama?
- Jay: [after his Aunt Bella randomly charges out of the house in tears] See why I don't like to come here too often?
- Aunt Bella: Do ya, do you know what color my eyes are, Johnny?
- Johnny: No, what?
- Aunt Bella: You're lookin' right at 'em.
- Johnny: Oh, uh. I'm a little color blind.
- Aunt Bella: You have beautiful eyes.
- Johnny: Naw. Men don't have beautiful eyes.
- Aunt Bella: Oh, yes, they do. Don't tell me. Wanta kiss me?
- Johnny: Yeah. Yeah I do, I really would.
- Aunt Bella: Then, kiss me.
- Johnny: I will.
- Aunt Bella: I mean now. Today... sometime today, Okay? We've done it before, you know. You gonna put your arms around me or not?
- Johnny: Don't tell me how to do it, I know how to do it.
- Aunt Bella: Then, do it, don't say you're gonna do it.
- Johnny: I said,"Okay".
- Aunt Bella: [they start to kiss gently, then fall to the ground and Johnny becomes more forceful] Okay, that's enough. Johnny, I can't breathe. Okay, Johnny, I have to breathe! Okay, that's enough for today.
- [breaking off]
- Aunt Bella: Woo! I don't know why they wouldn't take you in the Army!