Dark Universe

Director Steve Latshaw (BIOHAZARD) presents another clusterfudge production. DARK UNIVERSE begins with the crash-landing of a spacecraft in the swampland of Florida. Unfortunately, the ship's occupant, Steve, has been infected by alien spores, which transform him into a hideous monster. Now, the creature-formerly-known-as-Steve, must roam the Earth looking like a burnt sausage with teeth.

The throwaway plot involves a team sent in to locate the fallen craft. Their journey is intercut by the deaths of various swamp-billies. Containing one of the most annoying casts of numbskulls ever assembled, one only hopes for their quick departure at the claws of the lumbering meatloaf. Alas, the characters live far too long, speaking endlessly.

The quality of acting ranges from wooden to petrified dog flop. If you are a sub-sludge film afficionado, you've just hit the mother lode! So, buckle up and get ready for a spin down the drivel drain!

THIS FILM FEATURES: Topless females, orange goo, and a killer armadillo!

For added misery, Joe Estevez is also -barely- in this mess...

Dark Universe (1993)

* (out of 4)

Silly direct-to-video release about a space shuttle on its way back to Earth but it runs into an issue and crashes in the Everglades. The one astronaut on board turns into a murderous monster and it's just in time for a reporter, a swamp guide and others to come wondering out there. DARK UNIVERSE is a really, really bad movie but thankfully there are some pretty campy moments that make it worth watching for those who enjoy sitting through awful movies. If you're looking for any type of story, acting, directing or heartbreaking drama then you're going to be highly disappointed. There's really nothing "good" going on with this film but there are a few funny moments and it's too bad there weren't more of these. If I had to shine a spotlight on a highlight it would probably be the monster outfit. It's a clear rip-off of ALIEN and it's a wonder that the filmmakers here weren't sued because the similarities are incredibly strong. I did like the monster enough even though there were times where it seemed like it had no mobility to move around or do anything. The black tar look isn't the most original out there but it did lead to a couple good and gory kill scenes. The rest of the film is pretty much flat, boring and lifeless. Joe Estevez has a brief role as the guy leading up the space mission but even he can't save this thing. The rest of the performers aren't the greatest in the world but they're pretty much what you expect in a movie like this. At least a couple of them got naked. DARK UNIVERSE certainly isn't a movie that's going to appeal to many as most are going to hate it with a passion. If you like ultra low-budget, bad movies then you might want to give it a rental.

Admittedly, director Steve Latshaws' "Dark Universe" is miles away from being particularly "good", but this viewer found that he himself didn't altogether hate it. It's a passable (if uninspired) story. Its characters and cast are mostly nondescript, and the special effects are variable. They range from slick (the morphing) to incredibly crude (the main monster). The script by co-star Patrick Moran (who plays Carlson) does include some pretty silly lines. But when all was said and done, I did have some fun with this.

Martin Sheens' somewhat less talented brother Joe Estevez plays the owner / operator of a Roger Corman version of N.A.S.A. On its way home, his first spacecraft, the Nautilus, flies through a cloud of alien spores, which infect the astronaut on board (Steve Barkett) and continue to infect Earth life once the ship crashes back onto our planet. A secretive team assigned to investigate the crash hires young Tom Hanning (Bently Tittle) as a guide.

There's enough enjoyably icky stuff to make this amusing for some fans of the genre. The scenes with the monstrous Steve and a mutated armadillo generate only laughter due to the effects being so corny. The movie does have one thing going for it, at least: a decent music score by Jeffrey Walton.

Some of the cast pulled double duty, but the most notable among them is actually a real legend, Florida based exploitation filmmaker William Grefe ("Sting of Death", "Stanley", etc.) who appears briefly as Hannings' father.

Five out of 10.

Yeah. Right. This movie is right up there with Dusk til Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money as one of the worst, if not the worst ever. I rented this one just to make fun of it and it's so difficult to watch that I didn't even bother. This shlock has absolutely no moment of saving grace. The creature on the box looks like a cross between Giger's Alien and Barney. This one is not even worth getting paid to see. You will feel cheap, insulted and even offended watching this chock. This movie isn't even funny. They show breasts for no purpose other than to give you something to hoot about. I've seen home movies that are better produced than this suckfest. Avoid at all costs, unless renting ultrastink garbage is your bag. This is definitely one for the MST3K crowd. Rating: zero out of *****.

I've always enjoyed the laughable schlock that Joe Estevez does, and was disappointed that even though he got top billing he was a rather minor character. Some may poke fun at Joe's talents, but he's done over a hundred films so far and he's far more likeable than his equally pudgy, self-righteous commie brother, Martin Sheen.

MST3K could have done wonders with this one, but with a few witty friends and enough beer or dried vegetable matter to go around it could still be entertaining --- just don't even THINK of this as an actual movie!

I'd give it a star or two for some nice fleeting breasts, and an extra one for the most hilarious, faked-up special effects since the old Buck Rogers serials. The monster is definite proof that at some point Barney mated with "Alien." You can almost hear it singing, "I love you, you love me, let's terrorize the community!"