Expresso para Neon City

Michael Ironside plays the post-apocalyptic version of John Wayne in this low-budget, cheesy yet likable futuristic take on John Ford's classic STAGECOACH. Ironside leads a group of passengers aboard a transport vehicle through dangerous wasteland territory, having to contend with mutants, road warriors, and even each other, on their way to safety at Neon City. Most MAD MAX warriors-of-the-wasteland stories are basically westerns, so why not rip off from the best? THE ROAD WARRIOR was basically a remake of SHANE. Joining Ironside aboard his transport are a prisoner (Vanity, remember her?), a fish-out-of-water rich girl (Juliet Landau in her first film), a would-be comedian (Richard Sanders, AKA Les Nesmann from WKRP), and football player turned actor Lyle Alzado in his final film appearance before dying of complications from steroid use. The film was directed by character actor Monte Markham, who also appears in the film, and he handles the action quite well. That and Ironside do a good job of carrying a what's only a passable script, and make it worth watching for fans of these sorts of films. Also, shooting the film in a wintry, snowy setting rather than a sweltering desert was rather novel compared to most films from this genre. Overall, if you dig cheesy post-apocalyptic movies of the 80s and early 90s, you'll likely enjoy this one, even if it's far from a classic.

AI CAPSULE REVIEW: Neon City is a snowy, post-apocalyptic Stagecoach riff that coasts on Michael Ironside's gruff charisma and a fun B-movie ensemble. It's cheesy and derivative, but fans of early '90s wasteland flicks will find enough charm to make the ride worthwhile.

When I hear, or think of actor Michael Ironside. I'm so use to him in a genre film of this ilk playing the hissable bad guy/henchman, in one shape or another, so it was a nice change of pace to see him at the opposite end of the spectrum. His gruff, tough as nails anti-hero performance, ex-ranger turned bounty hunter, makes it worthwhile, as the straight-to-video "NEON CITY" is virtually unspectacular, yet a durable and smoky post apocalyptic low-budget action fare.

The story had its running themes, but for most part it keeps it simple and traditional in structure, like a western (that sees a small group of people travelling by vehicle through the harsh wasteland of erratic weather extremes and ravaging ozone affected nomads to reach their destination; "Neon City"), and something of a "MAD MAX" imitation.

Maybe it plods a bit after the hour mark; the humor can be dopey (a comic relief character that's virtually a standup comedian who does illegal business on the side) and the journey a little too low-scale at times, especially on the action front. But what we do get provides the rough and tumble, when it counts, even moments of slow-mo (showering), solar/sandstorms, cue in that synth, gushing blood and a little laser activity. All of this leading to a random, but amusingly over-the-top standoff, where Ironside doesn't want to disappoint. Also alongside him is Vanity as his feisty prisoner.

Neon City (1991) is a movie I recently watched on Tubi. The storyline follows a not too distant future where the sun has scorched the Earth leaving small pockets of inhabitable land. A group of survivors try to make their way across a Baron waste land to a metropolis known as Neon City where they hope to start a new life. This movie is directed by Monte Markham (We Are Still Here) and stars Michael Ironside (Total Recall), Vanity (The Last Dragon), Lyle Alzado (Destroyer) and Valerie Wildman (Salvador). The storyline, look, feel, props and weapons all have a super strong Mad Max feel to it. The vehicles scenes as well as the shootouts were awesome...the hand-to-hand combat scenes, not so much. Ironside is awesome as the main character and I love his demeanor and constant sternness. The final action scene and shootout across the snow wasteland is awesome and has a classic 80s/90s action feel to it. Overall this is far from perfect but entertaining if you enjoyed Mad Max. I'd score this a solid 7/10.

There was a time, after seeing Cronenberg's SCANNERS, that I wanted to see every possible movie starring Michael Ironside. I pretty soon stopped this silly quest when I realized the man had already starred in way too many boring below-average B-features of the police/thriller-type. NEON CITY, however, is one of his better B-movies, and it's actually one of the better MAD MAX-clones out there.

In the year 2053 the ozone-layer is destroyed and earth's population is divided in diseased mutants and healthy people. The wastelands are ruled by the merciless Skins and earth's ecosystem is completely out of balance. Outbursts of 'brights' can incinerate a person and poisonous Xander-clouds can suffocate you within seconds. There are safe-havens throughout the wastelands, Neon City being one of them. A group of 8 persons begins a journey in an armored vehicle towards Neon city.

Fans of Michael Ironside should see this flick, 'cause he plays the type of character that we love to see him play: A ruthless bounty-hunter with a soft spot inside. His prisoner, Reno, is played by Vanity, and knowing this lady you might expect her to show some skin, but she pretty much doesn't. The acting is pretty average, but it was fun seeing Juliet Landau before her BUFFY-period. The good thing is that all the characters have a bit of background and some of them turn out not exactly what they appear to be. The bad thing is that this movie could have used a bigger budget, especially in the special effects-department. The 'bright'-outbursts are just some silly colorization-effects and I expected to see an impressive futuristic Neon City in the end, but we see almost nothing of it. The action-scenes of Skins on motorcycles attacking the armored transport are average and certainly not as impressive as in MAD MAX 2.

But still, this movie manages to hum along nicely and you do wonder about who'll make it in the end and who won't. It's not an excellent movie, but it's not bad either. Worth a watch, especially for Ironside-fans.

"Take a deep breath, it may be your last. Welcome to the year 2053!" In the year 2053 the world is a post-apocalyptic wasteland. In this movie it is called "The Outland", with a blatant disregard for the Sean Connery film of the same name. "The Outland" doesn't have a lot of clean air or water. People are eating dogs for sustenance.

Enter Harry M. Stark (Ironside), a no-nonsense bounty hunter who looks like Jack Nicholson. His job is to bring Reno (Vanity) back to Neon City. He handcuffs himself to her because she is always escaping. There are so many outlaws in "The Outland" that one can collect "Red Star Credits" for bringing them to justice. What you can exchange these for aren't explained. Is it like Skee Ball tokens or "Coconut Coins"? The world may never know.

Luckily there is a bus going to Neon City. The movie never explains where they are and how long it takes to get to Neon City. The bus driver is named Bulk and he is played with aplomb by Lyle Alzado. As if the name "Bulk" wasn't enough, he is nicknamed "The Killer Tomato" because "He crushes people's heads as easily as an overripe tomato". Bulk and Harry don't get along at first because Bulk is an ex-con that Harry brought in.

Also going to Neon City in this bus are a bad stand-up comic looking for work, a sketchy doctor with a mullet, a spoiled rich girl and a woman who looks like Hillary Clinton. Riding shotgun with Bulk for most of the journey is a mysterious Asian man named Wing (Arsenio "Sonny" Trinidad) Along the way there are many obstacles and pitfalls. Besides the obvious personality clashes, there are roving bands of killers dubbed "Skins". They ride souped-up, broken down motorcycles if such a thing is possible. There are continuously chasing the bus and shooting at it. We don't know why. Stark shoots back with a laser that makes a classic laser noise: "Pew! Pew!" The many chase sequences are very repetitive and strongly reminiscent of the "Orange Grove Chase" from the classic "Cobra" (1986).

Other dangers our heroes have to face include something called a "Zander Cloud" which is a poisonous cloud. It would make more sense if it was a "Zzand Cloud". Similarly, there are some hot lights which are a silly menace that pads out the running time. Not to mention if they are so hot, why don't they melt all the snow around the area? They take a million breaks on the way to Neon City and they could have gotten there a lot faster. The importance to getting to Neon City is negated with all the breaks. One of the important breaks involves healing water that Harry and Reno take. It doesn't make much sense.

After all those breaks, they finally get to Neon City which is just a "Neon Room" (No city is actually seen) They are welcomed into the room by none other than "The Office's" Creed Bratton (Who was also a grip on the film). Already overlong at this point, after multiple endings Stark confronts his commanding officer (who is also evil) and is named "Jenkins".

There are some twists as far as relationships are concerned: Will Stark and Reno stay enemies or become an item? Will that annoying comic get his comeuppance for selling poison to cave-dwelling burn victims? And will Bulk get his wife's ring back from the "Skins"? and is Wing (once again played by Arsenio "Sonny" Trinidad) who he seems to be? All will be answered if you watch the entire thing.

"Neon City" closely resembles the recent box office smash "The Book Of Eli", obviously the Hughes Brothers closely studied this flick. Honestly, the movie is a "Mad Max" knockoff and scenes from it are ripped off wholesale.

Make sure to watch "Neon City" in the future! Interesting side note: Fan favorite Chuck Zito did some stunt work on the film.

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