- Jody: ...and as they both sink beneath the waves, the frog cries out, "Why did you sting me, Mr. Scorpion? For now we both will drown!" Scorpion replies, "I can't help it. It's in my nature!"
- Fergus: Do they know?
- Dil: Know what, honey?
- Fergus: Know what I didn't know? And don't call me that.
- Dil: Can't help it! A girl has her feelings.
- Fergus: Thing is, Dil, you're not a girl.
- Dil: Details, baby, details.
- Fergus: So they do know?
- Dil: Alright, they do.
- Fergus: Don't. I should've known, shouldn't I?
- Dil: Probably.
- Fergus: Kind of wish I didn't.
- Dil: You can always pretend.
- Fergus: That's true. Your soldier knew, didn't he?
- Dil: Absolutely.
- Dil: Got you the multivitamins and the iron tablets, hon.
- Fergus: Don't call me that.
- Dil: Sorry, love. Now, the white ones are magnesium supplement.
- Fergus: Stop it, Dil.
- Dil: I've got to keep you healthy, Jimmy. I'm counting the days. Two thousand three hundred and thirty-four left.
- Fergus: Thirty-five.
- Dil: I'm sorry, darling. I keep forgetting the leap year. What am I supposed to call you then, Jimmy?
- Fergus: Fergus.
- Dil: Fergus. Fergus my love, light of my life.
- Fergus: Please, Dil.
- Dil: Can't help it. You're doing time for me. No greater love, as the man says. Wish you'd tell me why.
- Fergus: As the man said, it's in my nature.
- Dil: What you thinking of, hon?
- Fergus: I'm thinking of your man.
- Dil: Why?
- Fergus: I'm wondering why you keep his things.
- Dil: I told you. I'm superstitious.
- Fergus: Did he ever tell you you were beautiful?
- Dil: All the time. Even now.
- Fergus: What do you mean?
- Dil: He looks after me. He's a gentleman, too.
- Fergus: Why did you sign up?
- Jody: It was a job.
- Fergus: Ah, yeah, a job.
- Jody: So I get sent to the one place in the world where they call you nigger to your face.
- Fergus: Shouldn't take it personally.
- Jody: Go back to your banana tree, nigger.
- [Fergus laughs]
- Jody: No use telling them I came from Tottenham.
- Dil: You gonna tell me what it is?
- Jude: What is it?
- Dil: Do you know her, Jimmy?
- Jude: Jimmy, is it? Do you know me, Jimmy?
- Fergus: Dil, this is Jude.
- Dil: Are you following me?
- Jude: Yeah! Just checking. Is he being nice to you, Dil?
- Dil: Ever so nice, aren't you, Jimmy?
- Jude: That's good. I'm glad. Young love, as they say?
- Dil: Absolutely. The younger the better. Doesn't come YOUR way much, I suppose.
- Jude: Don't go looking for it, Dil.
- Dil: Well, maybe you'll get lucky... someday.
- Jude: Bit heavy on the powder, isn't she?
- Dil: A girl has to have a bit of glamour.
- Jude: Oh, absolutely. As long as she can keep it. Isn't that right, James?
- Jody: Tell me a story. Tell me anything.
- Fergus: When I was a child, I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things.
- Jody: What does that mean?
- Fergus: Nothing.
- Jody: Nothing. Tell me something, anything.
- [Fergus doesn't respond]
- Jody: Not a lot of use, are you Fergus?
- Fergus: Me? No. I'm not good for much.
- Deveroux: [Dil and Fergus are having a conversation] Do it on your own time, Pat.
- Fergus: What?
- Deveroux: Whatever it is she does for you.
- Fergus: I consider that an insult.
- Deveroux: Well consider what you like, just get the bloody tart out of here!
- Fergus: [getting up angrily] You ever try picking up your teeth with broken fingers?
- Deveroux: What's that supposed to mean?
- Fergus: Simple question.
- [pause]
- Fergus: [to Dil] Come on, hon.
- Dil: He didn't answer, honey.
- [last lines]
- Dil: What am I supposed to call you then, Jimmy?
- Fergus: Fergus.
- Dil: Fergus... Fergus. My love. Light of my life.
- Fergus: Please, Dil.
- Dil: Can't help it. You're doing time for me. No greater love as the man says. I wish you'd tell me why.
- Fergus: As a man said, it's in my nature.
- Dil: What's that supposed to mean?
- Fergus: Well... there's this scorpion, you see, and he wants to go across a river. Well, he can't swim so he goes to this frog, who naturally enough can swim. And he says,
- [imitating the scorpion's voice]
- Fergus: "Excuse me, Mr. Froggy. I want to go across the river."
- [continues narrating]
- Fergus: So the frog accepts the idea. The scorpion hops on the frog's back. Suddenly, the frog: "Aah!" He feels this sting! "You stung me! Why did you go and do that?" The scorpion looks at him and says, "I can't help it, it's in my nature".
- Col: Came to see *her* didn't you. Listen, there's something I should tell you. She's, uh...
- Fergus: She's what?
- [audience applauds as Dil takes the stage]
- Col: She's on!
- Dil: [singing on stage at the "Metro"] I know all there is to know about the crying game, I had my share of the crying game, First there are kisses, Then there are sighs, And then, before you know where you are, You're sayin' goodbye...
- Jody: You can't just let me loose.
- Fergus: Why can't we?
- Jody: Not in your nature.
- Fergus: What do you know about my nature?
- Jody: I'm talking about your people, not you.
- Fergus: What the fuck do you know about my people?
- Jody: Only that you're all tough, undeluded motherfuckers. And that it's not in your nature to let me go!
- Fergus: Shut the fuck up, would you.
- [first lines]
- Jody: [playing ring toss at a carnival] Right.
- [tosses a ring]
- Jody: That.
- [tosses a ring]
- Jody: And that. And that is cricket, hon.
- Jody: [wins a large teddy bear] Do you want it?
- Jude: Sure!
- Jody: [hands her the teddy bear] Doesn't matter if you don't. You know I won't be offended. Jody's never offended. What'd you say your name was?
- Jude: Jude.
- Jody: Jude. Why that suits you, Jude.
- Jude: The teddy bear?
- Jody: No! Fuck this bear. The name: Jude. And it IS Jude, right?
- Jody: You know, I was wrong about one thing. You're no pin-up. You're not handsome at all.
- Jimmy: Are you trying to hurt my feelings.
- Jody: It's the truth.
- Jimmy: I could say the same thing about you but we're kind around these parts.
- Jody: You know that lady didn't turn me on.
- Jimmy: Didn't look that way to me.
- Jody: No Really. Shakes his head affirmatively
- Jody: Come here. I want to show you something.
- Jimmy: No.
- Jody: My inside pocket.
- Jimmy: Reaches in Jody's coat pocket
- Jody: No not that one.
- Jody: Now she's my type.
- Jimmy: She would be anyone's type.
- Jody: Don't even think about it fucker. She's mine.
- Jimmy: Why not?
- Jody: She wouldn't suit you anyway.
- Jimmy: You're lucky.
- Jody: Don't I know it.
- Jody: Well, in Antigua cricket's the black man's game. The kids play it from the age of two. My daddy had me throwing googlies from the age of five. Then we moved to Tottenham and it was something different.
- Fergus: How different?
- Jody: Toffs' game there. But not at home. So when you come to shoot me, Paddy, remember, you're getting rid of a shit- hot bowler.
- Fergus: I'll bear that in mind.
- Jody: The scorpion and the frog. Ever heard of 'em? A scorpion wants to cross a river, but he can't swim. He goes to the frog, who can, and asks for a ride. The frog says, "If I give you a ride on my back, you'll go and sting me!" The scorpion replies, "It would not be in my interest to sting you since as I'll be on your back we both would drown." The frog thinks about this logic for a while and accepts the deal. Takes the scorpion on his back. Braves the waters. Halfway over feels a burning spear in his side and realizes the scorpion has stung him after all. And as they both sink beneath the waves a frog cries out, "Why did you sting me, Mr. Scorpion? For now we both will drown!" The scorpion replies, "I can't help it, it's in my nature."
- Fergus: So what's that supposed to mean?
- Jody: Means what it says. A scorpion does what is in its nature.