- Jack Citron: You know this movie's about pop culture? In the 60s, Andy Warhol showed us how Pop could be high art. That everything is high art. That's what this is all about. For example, in your first scene you'll be gang raped by four monsters.
- President: Any trace of Beckmeyer yet?
- Prof. Sharp: No, sir. I think he fell in love with the Russian werewolf.
- President: Was it female?
- Prof. Sharp: Yes.
- President: Well, thank Christ for that.
- [first lines]
- Agent #1: Hey, have a look at this. Another K.G.B. intercept meaning "wolfman."
- Agent #2: It has to be a code for *something.*
- Agent #1: Doubt it is. Unless they know we're intercepting. "Werewolf was sighted near village of Leovich. Three villagers killed. Special army team are tracking monster." Well. Do we tell the powers that be?
- Agent #2: Werewolves loose in the Soviet Union. I'm not telling them! Call Beckmeyer in Los Angeles and get his opinion. He's damn good on unexplained phenomenon. He knows how to deal with the White House and this weird shit.
- Agent #1: Weird shit! I've got a weird feeling...
- Agent #2: Indigestion?
- Agent #1: No. Fear.
- Donny Martin: [Donny and Jerboa are in bed] You know that movie we saw?
- Jerboa: Yeah.
- Donny Martin: And you said it doesnt happen like that.
- Jerboa: Yeah.
- Donny Martin: What did you mean?
- Jerboa: It's not the full moon that turns you into- that makes you wild. The moon doesn't do it.
- Donny Martin: It's always like that in the movies.
- Jerboa: It's wrong.
- Donny Martin: How would you know? Are you a werewolf?
- Jerboa: Yes. But I don't want to be.
- Donny Martin: [about Jerboa's bra] Why don't you take this off?
- Jerboa: No.
- Donny Martin: [Jerboa proceeds to bite him] Oh!
- Jerboa: Make love to me again, Donny.