Black Cobra

When I popped "The Black Cobra" into the DVD player, I was in the mood for some undemanding, mindless entertainment, nothing more. Unfortunately, this film cannot even fulfill those expectations. It is overwhelmingly cheap - much of it appears to be set in and around abandoned warehouses - and almost completely uninspired. I bought the entire "Black Cobra Collection" online for 3 English pounds, which means a pound a film, but if the other two entries are of the same quality, and if the other two transfers are of the same quality (well-below-VHS-level picture, often inaudible audio), then maybe the buyers should be getting payed instead! Fred Williamson is always cool, even when he's sleepwalking (which he largely is here) and dubbed (which I also think he is here), and Eva Grimaldi is as beautiful as ever, but this is not the finest hour for either of them. (*)

Okay, this is a VERY low budget thriller. It makes Williamson's 1970s B-films look like "Ben Hur," but if you're a fan of the Hammer, you might find some enjoyment in this Italian import. I picked up the entire Black Cobra series at Big Lots for three bucks, and this first installment is bad, but tolerable. Williamson is a tough cop who rubs nearly everyone the wrong way...except for his cat, Pervis. A gang of not-so-tough looking bikers terrorize the city, and a key witness to one of their murders has the good luck of being in Williamson's custody. Of course, anyone can figure out the rest. The movie looks like it was filmed on the cheapest film stock that was ever produced, and the synth soundtrack is right out of the John Carpenter book of film scores. Still, Hammer is the Hammer. Williamson is not the best actor but he manages to breathe life into this pile of cheese.

Cobra Nero(aka Black Cobra)has average music more suited to Italian zombie flicks than an action film and more than it's share of bad acting,dumb bad guys and sweaty close ups yet it has some well shot action sequences while Mr Williamson is on screen and some well done gore effects.The climax is a bit longwinded but it still left me wanting to watch more.Luckily there have been a couple of sequels since so we can all look forward to seeing Fred Williamson playing Malone again.

Recently the uncut version (Australian VHS, the British is cut by 1 min 20 odd) of this very odd Italian Fred "The Hammer" Williamson film

Fred stars as the repellent Malone, a tough talking cop.

He say's to a girl he is protecting when she begins to speak "shut up, if you need to move your mouth put some food in it" (I would have thought of a coarser line)

He is on the hunt for some camp looking "bad guys" who replete with Bouffant hair and studded jackets look like prime "batchelor's for life" but seem to like killing, shooting and de-fouling who ever they can find.

Quite a good laugh with some grim scenes but at the end of the day in this one Fred has a butt bigger than a bus, his gut is held in by his belt, and when he runs he wobbles. He still kicks them all into the next century though

This is one of the films on the super-cheapo Brentwood 4 movie DVD set called Dealin Dirty.

Fred Williamson vs. a poofy bunch of 5'3" twerps on dirtbikes. I can't think of one good thing to say about this movie. An incoherent steaming pile. Fred is obviously bored by the film, to his credit he doesn't even try to act (...I dont show up 'till the check clears...got it??). Some of the nameless Italian actors do try to act a bit. Not really much point though, because it seems like someone lost the only copy of the script about half way through shooting.

The highlight of the film is the chief bad-guy. He looks like Pete Sampras' little brother after illegal estrogen therapy. He tries to menace, but no one can convincingly menace in bluejeans that are so well ironed.

There are a few unintentionally hilarious lines, like the almost-verbatim rip-off of the "do you feel lucky punk" dialog from one of my favorite Clint Eastwood flicks. It would have been genius if the lines were exactly the

same, but one of the sub-genius writers must have thought that no one would notice that he ripped the lines off if he changed a few words. Good thinking - that was close.

Overall Black Cobra is, poorly filmed, terribly scripted, terribly acted, and generally idiotic. Worst of all it is boaring.

I just thought of something good to say...Black Cobra is a lot better than the film Dealin Dirty (shot on video) that the DVD set is named for. Just the title sequence was enough to make me flip to the Anna Nicole Smith Show.

AVOID THE WHOLE SET!