Um Jantar Sangrento

The reviews of this movie honestly befuddle me to no end. The only way the movie could be rated this low by so many people, is that somehow, for some reason, they were expecting a serious film of some sort or another. Assuming the title itself didn't give them a rather obvious clue that this was to be a Herschell Gordon Lewis homage. And if they were..... well, if the first 5 minutes of the movie didn't serve them notice that they were dealing with a movie reveling in a flamboyant sense of camp and bad taste, then perhaps they would have been better off watching some pretentious art film. 'Twould serve them right for taking themselves sooooo very, very seriously.

This movie is a cheaply made gore fest, masquerading as a comedy, no excuses. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you. Sort of Grand Guignol in fish net stockings and garters. Evoking screams even as you laugh at it's over the top absurdity. Is it for all tastes? No, certainly not. But at what it tries to do, it succeeds at, for the most part. For me, at least, the movie struck a delicate balance between horror and comedy, two extremes that are fairly difficult to make work very effectively together, though it must be said, it succeeded far better with the latter than the former.

If you liked this genre (splatter comedies.... a rather narrow genre of film-making, to say the least), check out any one of the following, 2001 Maniacs, Frankenhooker, Psychos In Love, Bloodsucking Freaks, The Toxic Avenger, and Brain Damage. All cut from the same bolt of bloody cloth. And all equally worthwhile in their own way. Just try not to confuse any of them with Gandhi, okay? Class dismissed.

This movie isn't as bad as it seems. I am sure that when they made it they weren't thinking "Academy Award". It has it's low points, as do all B-movie horror flicks. But this movie is really funny, all I am going to say is "corndog head". There is a part in the movie involving the van that made me laugh so hard I watched it over and over and over again. I would recommend this movie to any b-movie junky or any one with a sense of humor!

I stand somewhere in the middle on Blood Diner (1987). It has everything I want from a B-grade horror flick. Tons of T&A, really cheesy acting, a paper thin plot, over the top (almost comical) gore. But somehow it just can't shake it's cheap production values and almost retarded direction. Blood Diner was developed as a sequel to Blood Feast (1963) but ended up being a stand alone film with emphasis on comedy/dark humor. Anyone expecting a riveting, well acted film is obviously going to be let down. If you expect that kind of film from a movie titled "Blood Diner", then I hate you. Blood Diner is a cool flick to check out cause it features some really entertaining scenes. Such as a naked chick performing karate on her attacker, a topless aerobics class getting machined gun down, deep fried body parts, tons of 80's T&A, and a talking brain with eyeballs. It's a cheesy film that doesn't try to be anything but outrageous and comedic. Blood Diner is best viewed under the influence of a few brewskies. Check it out for cheap but don't spend $ on it.

Well, quite frankly, I knew what the makers of this film were attempting to do: put together a horror-gore-spoof in the tradition of Herschell Gordon Lewis basically stealing much of his plot elements from Blood Feast. Two brothers dig up the brain of their dead uncle and then listen to him(it) tell them how to bring back an ancient goddess of evil. Naturally, a virgin and the body parts of tramps were needed for sacrifice and a blood buffet(movie definitely steers clear from using the word "feast"). The film succeeds with what it was trying to do, yet it is painfully far from a cinematic success. It is obvious the people involved in the film gave it their all, but the actors made me wince more than once with what they were doing. Now bad acting is a staple in a Lewis production, but the actors in this film consciously tried to be funny with a script that had few laughs. A couple moments made me smile: the biker guy and the kid in the truck with the mambo music, the policeman wearing clothes that no one probably ever wore, and the absurd dummy and ventriloquist diner cook. But the rest, the annoying brain and eyes in a glass jar that talked, the weird penchant for Hitler(used in a wrestler's name and two night club singers), the atrociously directed death scenes(the one with the batter was just soooo bad), and so much more. The acting leads really try way too hard to make something out of nothing(which is another name for the script used here!). Blood Diner is an obvious homage to Lewis and his style of film-making, but it is a rather trite, tiresome, and uneven spoof at best. Yes, there is gore and blood and body parts, but like any Lewis film it has not relation to reality at all. Nor will this film produce even a twinkling of a fright!

Michael and George, owners of the best vegetarian restaurant in their small city, have an interesting social life. Where most people go home and spend time with their loved ones after work, Michael and George hang around with their deceased uncle. That's right, their deceased uncle -- who's actually just a brain and eyes in a jar that's ordering them to rebuild the goddess Sheetar so she can take over the world.

Sound like the perfect B-Movie? Well, in a way, it is. 'Blood Diner' is one of those little gems that takes you quite a while to appreciate. Sure, it's filled with as much low budget gore and cheesy sexist jokes as as Kong could fit into an hour and twenty eight minutes. And sure, there are members of my high school drama class that are better actors than two of the main characters in this film. But that's what makes it fun -- the fact that it was not only made to laugh at, but that you have so many chances to laugh at it.

Rent this movie if you ever get the chance and if you're into black humour and/or horrible but great films. And make sure to watch out for the biker, wrestling and Vitamin scenes. If you aren't rolling on the floor laughing at the end of it, never rent another B-Movie again.